pepperbird Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 she only know about me son. im hiding it from her, shes wont be happy if she found out about the baby. not that i care after the way she acted last year You aren't a stupid person by any means, which is why I can't understand how you can think any of this is a good thing. You are knowingly bringing a baby into a sh@tstorm and asking them to bear the weight of all the nonsense. Isn't that an awfully heavy weight to place on some very tiny shoulders? Add to that the fallout that may land on your other three kids, and you have future problems in the making. Are you trying to do this to them? Whether or not you are really doesn't matter, as it will be the end result. Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 both men brother 1 and brother 2 wanted to get me pregnant. yes they all planed. I wanted to be a mother. Go to a sperm bank, go to a bar in another city and pick up a stranger to sleep with, find a single guy...you had lots of other options, yet you chose the one that will hurt your children the most and cause the most damage. I would suggest you talk all of this over with your therapist ( if you have one) . Get your head on straight before you add even more stress to your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted September 21, 2018 Author Share Posted September 21, 2018 Go to a sperm bank, go to a bar in another city and pick up a stranger to sleep with, find a single guy...you had lots of other options, yet you chose the one that will hurt your children the most and cause the most damage. I would suggest you talk all of this over with your therapist ( if you have one) . Get your head on straight before you add even more stress to your life. thanks im trying to see one to talk to Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted September 21, 2018 Author Share Posted September 21, 2018 You aren't a stupid person by any means, which is why I can't understand how you can think any of this is a good thing. You are knowingly bringing a baby into a sh@tstorm and asking them to bear the weight of all the nonsense. Isn't that an awfully heavy weight to place on some very tiny shoulders? Add to that the fallout that may land on your other three kids, and you have future problems in the making. Are you trying to do this to them? Whether or not you are really doesn't matter, as it will be the end result. i have bpd so i cant be with a man due to childhood, so its easy just seeing a married man that wants what i want. more kids. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 i have bpd so i cant be with a man due to childhood, so its easy just seeing a married man that wants what i want. more kids. Do you give any thought to what would be in the best interest of the child before conceiving another one? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 i have bpd so i cant be with a man due to childhood, so its easy just seeing a married man that wants what i want. more kids. Okay. What will happen if, down the road, daddy dearest decides that he just wants his kids, but not you? You have tied yourself to this man for the next 18 years. You may well find yourself in and out of court for custody hearings, child support hearings, visitation hearings and much, much more. If he chooses, he may well decide he and his wife want to go to your child's events, and he may even decide that he no longer wants his children in your care, and given the way you have been acting, there is every chance he may convince a sympathetic judge to rule in his favour. If that happens, a fair sized chunk of your salary will be going to him for child support. That's what I'm getting at. There is a whole world of men ( and sperm banks) woudl would likley love to sleep with you but will have zero interest in sticking around afterwards. Why not pick one of them to be the father or, better yet, spend your energies on being the best mom you can be to the kids you already have? Are you going to keep on having child after child to fill some need in you, despite what harm it does to them? Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 You aren't a stupid person by any means. Clearly the unfortunate predicament this young lady finds herself in has nothing whatsoever to do with intelligence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 i have bpd so i cant be with a man due to childhood, so its easy just seeing a married man that wants what i want. more kids. Why do you want so many kids? You are in love with 2 men that you wanted to have babies with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted September 21, 2018 Author Share Posted September 21, 2018 Do you give any thought to what would be in the best interest of the child before conceiving another one? they get another baby sis or brother. its not hurting them. i love all my kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted September 21, 2018 Author Share Posted September 21, 2018 Why do you want so many kids? You are in love with 2 men that you wanted to have babies with. my girls are 6 and 7 - not seeing there dad apart from when he pick his girls up my son and unborn baby - i seeing there dad sexual yes hes married, just one father i love. Link to post Share on other sites
treehugger12 Posted September 22, 2018 Share Posted September 22, 2018 she only know about me son. im hiding it from her, shes wont be happy if she found out about the baby. not that i care after the way she acted last year How did you expect her to act? Do the brothers know they have both impregnated the same “other” woman? What country do you live in, because you act like this a “normal” thing. Also curious how old you are? Can you answer why you would chose these two married brothers to have children with? Is this a game with you? Seriously I am just mistified why you want this drama in your life and your kids life, do you realize this is forever for you? Why not chose a healthy relationship with a man that respects you and you don’t have to share? Is it anger issues your having with married men, can you share more about these two married brothers that you chose to have babies with and why? I will be praying for your children. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted September 22, 2018 Author Share Posted September 22, 2018 How did you expect her to act? Do the brothers know they have both impregnated the same “other” woman? What country do you live in, because you act like this a “normal” thing. Also curious how old you are? Can you answer why you would chose these two married brothers to have children with? Is this a game with you? Seriously I am just mistified why you want this drama in your life and your kids life, do you realize this is forever for you? Why not chose a healthy relationship with a man that respects you and you don’t have to share? Is it anger issues your having with married men, can you share more about these two married brothers that you chose to have babies with and why? I will be praying for your children. when i met my girls dad. i didnt know he had someone had the time. that was diff he lied to me. but yea when i found out i keep seeing him. with my son day and baby on way i know he was married. yes but u cant help who u fall for, and its like a drug. unless u been another woman/ man u cant understand, Link to post Share on other sites
noelle303 Posted September 22, 2018 Share Posted September 22, 2018 when i met my girls dad. i didnt know he had someone had the time. that was diff he lied to me. but yea when i found out i keep seeing him. with my son day and baby on way i know he was married. yes but u cant help who u fall for, and its like a drug. unless u been another woman/ man u cant understand, I've been the other woman. I've also been pregnant by my MM at the time. I would never in a million years go through that experience again. Does you current MM even see his son with you? Is he present in his life, pay child support, anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Mardelis Posted September 22, 2018 Share Posted September 22, 2018 they get another baby sis or brother. its not hurting them. i love all my kids. Of COURSE it's hurting them. It's not a cohesive family situation with mom and dad working together to nurture and raise their children, it's a completely dysfunctional damaging situation that has a high chance of producing dysfunctional children who in turn will have unhealthy relationships probably with people who are married to, and have children with other people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted September 22, 2018 Share Posted September 22, 2018 op, it sounds like you have some mental health issues, and I do hope you are able to get some help. Reading between the lines, I also get the sense that you really just want someone to love you and be there for you. This isn't the way to go about it. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted September 22, 2018 Share Posted September 22, 2018 (edited) [] Are either of the fathers paying child support? Edited September 23, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Argumentative content removed and member moderated Link to post Share on other sites
Estes Posted September 22, 2018 Share Posted September 22, 2018 She posted that she gets support from both fathers? Link to post Share on other sites
ABernie Posted September 22, 2018 Share Posted September 22, 2018 Of COURSE it's hurting them. It's not a cohesive family situation with mom and dad working together to nurture and raise their children, it's a completely dysfunctional damaging situation that has a high chance of producing dysfunctional children who in turn will have unhealthy relationships probably with people who are married to, and have children with other people. This is not always true. My parents stayed together and I am damaged from my father's emotional abuse. It's not always better to have 2 parents involved. Since I was 8, I wished for my parents to divorce. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
imsosad Posted September 23, 2018 Share Posted September 23, 2018 op, it sounds like you have some mental health issues, and I do hope you are able to get some help. Reading between the lines, I also get the sense that you really just want someone to love you and be there for you. This isn't the way to go about it. I agree 100,%. Like everyone else, you need to feel love and validated, but continuing down this path isn't going to make you happy. I also get the feeling you're lonely and all this MM/Brothers/Multiple pregnancies is a way to be crying out for help and connection. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted September 23, 2018 Share Posted September 23, 2018 op, it sounds like you have some mental health issues, and I do hope you are able to get some help. Reading between the lines, I also get the sense that you really just want someone to love you and be there for you. This isn't the way to go about it. I totally agree. Link to post Share on other sites
CloudyHead Posted September 23, 2018 Share Posted September 23, 2018 misspalmy - Here's my two cents: If you do suffer from BPD, then see a doctor/therapist for medication/therapy to assist you with that disorder. Secondly, take time to learn to love yourself. I think you are seeking love and/or validation from MM and, now, your children. A relationship with a MM is emotionally damaging. Your life revolves around MM's life - you see him when it is convenient for you. And, he is using you - whether he wants to get back at his wife or he has someone he knows he can control. I assume you've been in these affair relationships for at least 8 years based on your children's ages. Aren't you tired of the emotional roller coaster? Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 So what's MM telling you this time? Is he leaving his wife and other kids for you or is he staying with them. What are YOUR plans? Are you going to tell the wife again? I suspect you will, if for no other reason than you seem to have some macabre and twisted enjoyment with all this. I think it's because he left his previous relationship to be with her but won't leave her to be with you so you're going to punish her for it. Please realise this MM is not worth it. You should be going LC as much as possible only discussing finances and kids. Who told you you can't have a relationship with BPD? It's simply not true. It's not easy and you have to work hard to maintain your mental health but you know what.... only you can choose to do this. I don't have BPD but have suffered from mental health issues for years and know how easy it can be to sit back and blame the illness for everything. But you have 3 soon to be 4 young kids depending on you for basically everything. Get healthy for your kids. I hate all this 'you can't choose who you love' rubbish. Maybe not but you can sure choose what actions you take in life. You have 2 very young and impressionable daughters, I would like you to be honest and think how about how you would feel if they were repeating your actions in 20 years time...... Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 op, I don't claim to know a lot of borderline personality disorder ( is that what you mean by BPD?) , but many professionals believe that an tumultuous childhood can contribute to its development, and there may also be a genetic predisposition to it. As it stands right now, this is the future you are offering your children, and you may well be laying the groundwork for the cycle to continue on in them. I don't think that's anything you really want to do. Think of it this way. If someone could go way back into your past and remove the factors that led to you developing BPD so that you wouldn't have to deal with all its associated heartache, would you do it? If your answer is "yes" then why are you putting your kid's feet on that same road yours were put on so long ago? Why not be the bets mom you can be by getting your life settled out so they don't have to face the difficulties down the road that you had to deal with? Spend some time on your own and learn to love yourself. You must have lots of good qualities, so why not work on yourself and once you feel ready, you can find a single guy who will treat you ( and your kids should the relationship grow and develop) like a queen? Why settle for the current dolt you have been seeing? It's just dragging you down. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted May 29, 2019 Author Share Posted May 29, 2019 Update I just had my baby is 2 weeks old. the father hasnt seen him. his dumb wife gets in the way. no i dont want him, Back to the lawyers for child surport Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 Update I just had my baby is 2 weeks old. the father hasn’t seen him. Back to the lawyers for child surport Surprise, surprise... Best wishes to you and your baby. Link to post Share on other sites
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