Sm12345 Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Started seeing someone early last month, we’ve been on four dates and I stayed over this weekend for the first time. Saturday she introduced me as her boyfriend to a female friend we went for drinks with. I’m 37M, she’s 32F. Later in the day, the friend gave her approval texting “He’s lovely!”, in regards to me. We had the chat shortly after and I asked if she wanted me to be her boyfriend, she said yes. Ok, so I woke up a little earlier on Sunday to make breakfast and when I got back to the bedroom I accidentally grabbed her phone instead of mine (same model phone, similar case), and noticed there was a wall of text from this guy, including a “Going to bed, good night” text. When I brought it up to her, she said it was a guy off tinder who she hadn’t met, and decided not to because she wanted to see me instead. It didn’t appear that she had responded to any of his messages and she said she canceled plans to see him to spend the weekend with me. Wondering why she didn’t say something earlier, but also wondering if I have to say something now, or just trust her and leave it alone.. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Dude learn to be cool. The alternative is to be a clingy, needy, insecure jerk who loses a good thing because he jumps at what is probably nothing. It's not like you've been together for months, you just did the exclusive thing. Give it a moment. Oh wait. You've been together over a month and she's still getting texts from other guys off a dating site? And the exclusive talk was a week ago? Dump her she can't be trusted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Oh wait. You've been together over a month and she's still getting texts from other guys off a dating site? And the exclusive talk was a week ago? Dump her she can't be trusted. I read it as the exclusive talk and the texting happening in the same day. She had no way of knowing she was about to enter exclusivity. Till then, she was free to multi date, and had no obligation to tell him she was talking to others (actually, she was simply receiving messages). Why bring up a trivial point? OP, let it go. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 OP, let it go. Yes let it go but make sure you always have the same phone and case so you can accidenatly reach for hers from time to time. "Oh damn I grabbed your phone again, that's like the 10th time this week! Sorry but who's William?" Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 Neither you nor she can control him. What he does is of no moment. Her actions & reactions are the only ones that matter. All of her interactions with him pre-dated your sleep over & your mutual declaration that you two are not exclusive. So assume she will tell him to buzz off soon & do not make an issue of it. Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 If she blocks his number ... cool. If she is still open to his communications ... not so much. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 You both are still testing the waters. She is exclusively having sex with you, and no one else. She's still going to interact with men, but on a platonic level. She's not going to erase every man off her map after 4 dates with you. Give it time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
misspalmy Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 cut your losses lots fish out there for u xx Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 27, 2018 Share Posted September 27, 2018 Don't make a problem where there is none. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
David33 Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Let it go. She could get hit on standing in line at the bank or sbux. She wants you. Don't blow it. GL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 Seems things are going just fine with you and this woman. He may be messaging her but she is in bed with you. Chill out and relax. This is a new relationship and that day you became exclusive. Do not check her phone, even if by accident. That is not cool and is a quick way to mess up a relationship. Enjoy your time together but also see that she is consistent with her actions, treatment of you, and has your back. I wish you luck Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 24, 2018 Share Posted October 24, 2018 Yeah, don't know if this is a new experience or not but most of us who've had girlfriends or wives over the decades know other men will be propositioning them sexually, flirting with them, trying to wean them off the relationship or marriage, whatever. It's what men do. Most women are very adroit at handling men. Saw it firsthand while married. Just leave it alone IMO. You're still figuring out if she's solid girlfriend/partner/wife material. The truth reveals itself in time. If she finds a better deal, bet your bottom dollar you'll be in the bin before you can spit. That's reality. For now, enjoy the ride. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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