I like a girl who does not know me

[jonwashington]

theres a girl in my college...she has class across the hall from one of my classes....she's beautiful to me..I have never had problems talking to girls or getting a number..whether its at the mall or out for the night..but I literally have no excuse to talk to this girl..her class starts 30 mins starts after my class starts and gets out 30 mins after mine ends ..I don't want to seem strange..also sometimes I give off the player vibe...because I act like I have nothing to lose when I talk to girls(which is what I tell myself)..I feel if I dont have this mindset I come off as boring or not confident..any tips?

[d0nnivain]

Can you stay in your classroom for the extra 30 minutes pretending to study & then walk out when she is getting out? You have to find a reason to say hi.

[BaileyB]

This happened to a friend in college. He walked right up to her in the hall and asked her out. She was very flattered, and they are married with two kids today.

 

I say, just go for it! You have nothing to lose.

[spiderowl]

I think you do need to approach her somehow but I would not advise just walking up to her out of the blue and asking her out. The reason I say that is it is a shock when a guy does this and the woman can react in any number of ways. When I was younger and this happened to me, I used to panic and say no, I was desperate to get away from this guy who had appeared out of the blue and was suddenly in my space. It was pure flight instinct and did not bear any relationship to how nice the guy was.

 

What I would suggest is making moves to build bridges. Make sure you pass her at some point and smile and say hello. Leave it at that unless she reacts very positively and engages you in conversation. The idea is to become more familiar to her so she recognises your face and you are not taking her by surprise. If you say hello in a friendly way whenever you see her, you will become that guy who seems really nice. Once you have reached this point, you could start to add in other things - like ask her if she knows what time the Library or coffee shop closes, little things. The latter of course gives you a chance to ask her if she feels like going for a coffee. By this time, she should feel she knows you a bit and would probably be happy to chat.

 

I feel guilty about the guys I turned down because they appeared out of the blue. I was scared at the time but now realise they were trying to approach me and that it took courage to do that.

Edited September 25, 2018 by spiderowl

[jonwashington]

I think you do need to approach her somehow but I would not advise just walking up to her out of the blue and asking her out. The reason I say that is it is a shock when a guy does this and the woman can react in any number of ways. When I was younger and this happened to me, I used to panic and say no, I was desperate to get away from this guy who had appeared out of the blue and was suddenly in my space. It was pure flight instinct and did not bear any relationship to how nice the guy was.

 

What I would suggest is making moves to build bridges. Make sure you pass her at some point and smile and say hello. Leave it at that unless she reacts very positively and engages you in conversation. The idea is to become more familiar to her so she recognises your face and you are not taking her by surprise. If you say hello in a friendly way whenever you see her, you will become that guy who seems really nice. Once you have reached this point, you could start to add in other things - like ask her if she knows what time the Library or coffee shop closes, little things. The latter of course gives you a chance to ask her if she feels like going for a coffee. By this time, she should feel she knows you a bit and would probably be happy to chat.

 

I feel guilty about the guys I turned down because they appeared out of the blue. I was scared at the time but now realise they were trying to approach me and that it took courage to do that.

I was thinking the same thing..her and i actually were walking towards eachother through a doorway the other day..she was staring right at me i was going to say hello but realized she was on the phone..i still should have said something...i never really have a problem talking to girls but sometimes i feel like i try to talk to certain girls to see if i still “have it” and never really do anything after i prove to myself. I just want to do things the right way..i still should have said hello...it was the perfect opportunity.oh well we will see what happens