divorce number 2 coming up.

[martinb3152]

Hello, haven't been here for a long time. Is a matter fact the last time I was here I was still married to my first wife. After I got divorced you think it would smarten up and stay away the opposite sex. But after four years of being on my own I decided to get married again. Long story short I ended up getting married out of the country.

 

Took me 3 years to get my wife over here. At first it was rough and hard start. But after a few years tthings started coming together my wife got a good job. Then I put her to nursing school for a better job. we've been married for 11 years. Unfortunately I got sick and had to have a back operation so I haven't been working. Put a considerable strain on finances. so when the going gets tough, she threatens me with divorce. And this time I think she means it.

 

So she is throwing me under the bus. Not ready to go back to work yet cuz my back is still recovering. I'm going to start looking around for a part time job though. So I might be living out of my car here if I can't get something going here pretty quick. Because she's the kind of person that would just leave me high and dry. Now I know today I am really not the Marrying type. If this ends which looks like it is going be, I'm done. What's even worse is I can't even afford a lawyer.

 

I guess I'm going to just have to go down into the courthouse and fill out the papers myself and show up in court. Anyone else been in this particular kind of a situation with a mail order bride?

Edited September 21, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Mr. Lucky]

Anyone else been in this particular kind of a situation with a mail order bride?

 

For many folks in other countries, the USA is a desirable destination, one they're willing to jump through many hoops to get to.

 

So while I'm sure you wife once loved you, now that she's here and established I'd guess she has a pretty low tolerance for non-performance. You've become inconvenient and that doesn't fit into her plans.

 

Having said that, you still have rights and entitlement to support might be one of them. At the very least, you'll get your half of marital assets should divorce occur.

 

Many attorneys offer a free initial consultation, would make sense to get a better understanding of your situation. Sorry this has happened, welcome back (I guess ) to LoveShack...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Mardelis]

You said she's the sort of person who would leave you high and dry.

 

 

Did you know this before you married her and did all those things for her? If so, I have to ask why, did you think she'd change and be this great new person? Because that's rather foolish to think that way. People don't change, clearly she used you and when she got what she needed she kicked you to the curb.

 

 

If you didn't know she was like this, well there's yet another reason not to jump into marriage with a person you don't know all that well. Marriage is supposed to be a lifelong commitment, not something you entertain with strangers who you hardly know.

 

 

I don't recommend staying away from the female half of the population, they've got a lot to offer especially BJs. Doesn't mean you have to marry her or put her through school or get her US citizenship.

[Mr. Lucky]

I don't recommend staying away from the female half of the population, they've got a lot to offer especially BJs.

 

Based on what you read here, a lot of guys end up disappointed if that's their reason for starting a relationship...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Mardelis]

Based on what you read here, a lot of guys end up disappointed if that's their reason for starting a relationship...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

 

That was mostly tongue in cheek. There are many reasons to get involved with another person in a give and take relationship. Lots of upsides not much downsides other than the inevitable need to compromise at times.

 

 

 

That's very different from the situation with this unfortunate person who started this thread, who may very well have been used by someone looking for US citizenship and of course money.

[vla1120]

Since you've been married 11 years, I'm guessing she has her citizenship and so you can't hold that over her head even if it is the only reason she married you.

 

If you cannot work yet, maybe you are eligible for disability? You should look into that, or anything that would allow you to be self-sufficient.

 

You don't really talk about the state of your marriage other than to say she threatens divorce every time she's not happy. Have you tried marriage counseling? In my case, in both marriages I went through pretty intensive marriage counseling. I'll always remember what one of them told me near the end of my first marriage - the success or failure of a marriage has less to do with one's ability or willingness to change and more to do the one's ability or willingness to accept things as they are. Of course, that does not count in situations where there is abuse, infidelity, or something like that.

 

I only mention all of that because any relationship is pretty much doomed if one or both of you are not willing to work on it.

[martinb3152]

For many folks in other countries, the USA is a desirable destination, one they're willing to jump through many hoops to get to.

 

So while I'm sure you wife once loved you, now that she's here and established I'd guess she has a pretty low tolerance for non-performance. You've become inconvenient and that doesn't fit into her plans.

 

Having said that, you still have rights and entitlement to support might be one of them. At the very least, you'll get your half of marital assets should divorce occur.

 

Many attorneys offer a free initial consultation, would make sense to get a better understanding of your situation. Sorry this has happened, welcome back (I guess ) to LoveShack...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

 

Problem is she forgets where she came from. She comes from a country making $2 a day to make them four thousand a month. Now I call him Miss America. I'm sure citizenship is coming next. That's all right. More power to her. I'm just trying to figure a way out of this mess. Thanks for the tip about the attorneys, I'll probably call a few and see if I can get some ideas. Thanks for the suggestions.

[martinb3152]

You said she's the sort of person who would leave you high and dry.

 

 

Did you know this before you married her and did all those things for her? If so, I have to ask why, did you think she'd change and be this great new person? Because that's rather foolish to think that way. People don't change, clearly she used you and when she got what she needed

 

 

She kicked me to the curb and then some. Yeah, my mother used to tell me that when I was a kid. I guess I forgot that. People just don't change, they are what they are.

 

If you didn't know she was like this, well there's yet another reason not to jump into marriage with a person you don't know all that well. Marriage is supposed to be a lifelong commitment, not something you entertain with strangers who you hardly know. Then there's the issue of infidelity which I didn't mention in my first post. She did this early in the marriage, and it crushed me after all what I did for her. I'm not trying to sound like a victim I'm a big boy and I know what I did. I took a chance and it didn't work out. Although we are married for 11 years the intimacy wore off very early. So I always had in my mind that she was probably maybe sleeping with somebody else anyway so, there can never be any trust in the marriage on my part.

[Mr. Lucky]

Problem is she forgets where she came from. She comes from a country making $2 a day to make them four thousand a month. Now I call him Miss America. I'm sure citizenship is coming next. That's all right. More power to her. I'm just trying to figure a way out of this mess.

 

Different perspectives. Regardless of your opinion of the marriage, I'll bet she considers it a success - it got her what she wanted.

 

I'd guess your goals for the relationship were divergent from Day 1. You're not the first person this has happened to ...

 

Mr. Lucky

[sandylee1]

In many cases women from poor countries marry men from the U.S. to get out of poverty.

 

They aren't all attracted to the men and don't love them... they can also have love interests in the U.S. before they even get there.

 

I'm not saying this is the case with you, but it's also often young and beautiful women, with older much less attractive men.

 

Men from the western world think they're getting an obedient submissive wife wife...until she's not.

 

When you can no longer provide, you've outlived your purpose.

 

Do your best to protect any assets you have.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Martin, where exactly is your wife from? Presumably from the S.E Asia or further East. You mentioned that she received training as a nurse. I guess you are aware that infidelity is pretty rampant in the medical profession. There was the case of a guy on here a few months ago who had married a specialist lady doc while she was still under training. He had shouldered expenses for a period of over two years or so and had moved with her to towns smaller than the one where he initially had set up his business. Well this lady landed a job in a small town where she was earning 40 grand a month but where he could not really establish himself in business. A short while after she started working there she started an affair and that was the end of the relationship. I think you undertook one of the riskiest of relationship ventures by marrying outside the US.

 

How is your back now and how soon can you get back to work? What is your line of work? Is it more of a desk job or does it entail physical work? If a divorce takes place you should wring her for everything that you can squeeze out of her. If you do not have money, borrow some from your folks and get yourself a shark of a lawyer. Overall a sad story. Best wishes.