He's 33, married, and acting childish... why? Sorry this is long!

[How_Do_I_Know]

Ok, here's the situation, I have known this guy now for a little while. Let's just call him "Frank". We work together. The thing is that quite a few months ago, I noticed he had started 'paying' me some attention... whether it was staring at me, to talking to me, to whatever... he seemed to want to "grab" my attention.

 

He wasn't really my type to begin with but through time and the extra effort he had been putting in to make me notice him, I had started to notice him. We would flirt here and there and email each other. I knew that he is married and has 2 kids. He is going to be 33 this month. I had let him know that I had found him to be very attractive and I am very attracted to him. He seemed to have freaked out when i told him that and he didn't talk to me for 2 weeks or we just didn't work with each other.

 

After that 2 week period, i noticed he changed his appearance, to look more attractive, he started to work out more and so on. He started to talk to me again and I had let him know that if it bothered him that we were acting the way we were to each other that he should tell me to stop and I would stop. He never told me to stop. HE was the one who initiated the contact with me again by approaching me when he saw me and talked to me when he had the chance.

 

Well, things began where they left off before i told him i liked him. We flirted again (indirectly) he would compliment me as usual all the time. Commenting on my "tan" and my physique - how I looked to be in tip top shape. He would ask me personal questions as if he wanted to know more about me. I found that very flattering that this man "seems" to be interested in me. After all, I am only 24 and he's the "older" man of my dreams so to speak.

 

So I had gone on vacation for a long time, I'd say at least a month before we saw each other again. I had kind of forgotten about him in that time and so when I returned I didn't really think anything of him when i saw him. But of course as he usually does, came right up to ME first and began to converse with ME first. Not the other way around. He then had told me that "it was good to see you again"... so, I see him again for the 3rd time after my return...

 

... and I am not dressed in the 'normal' scrub uniform, I fugured I would wear just a plain black shirt with black pants. He said this to me: "Why aren't you in your scrubs...?" I didn't hear him and said what? huh? I didn't hear you what did you say? He just looked at me with a smirk, a smirk he gives me quite often. I felt as if he thought i was a fool cuz I didn't hear him. So I approached him and he told me what he asked. About the scrubs.

 

Ok... so what is it to him that he would have to comment on what I was wearing? He also asked if that is the new thing not to wear scrubs at work, we work in a hospital. He said that it looks like I am ready to go and workout, then he said "that's right, you don't go to the gym - cuz you have workout equipment at home, an elliptical and a treadmill" (he is also a personal trainer). He said this to his friend that was sitting with him and said that 'this girl has a treadmill and elliptical machine' - SO WHAT??? Why is he doing this? To make me look like a fool to his friend? I felt so embarrassed and put on the spot that I wanted to go and hide. Does he not beleive I have them? I can't afford them? I do have a house and he barely beleived that. A while ago he asked me how I afford all of this stuff... HELLO, I HAVE MONEY and I WORK!

 

He had never been cruel to me like that before - EVER... he had always been so nice to me. The last time a guy had done that to me would be in junior high school when the boy liked me - he would tease me cuz young teenage boys do that, but not 33 year old men!

 

I already have the fact in my head that he is married and he's taken... I have moved on and found some male companions to go on dates with and one potential b/f.

 

I am confused though, he was so nice to me when I returned and that made me so excited to be back then this happened and I am completely appalled by this. I feel so little. Also, I had noticed that when I did return, he and his friend would look to see if I was gone from the room and joke with one another and laugh... my friends had told me this cuz they saw it. Now I feel as though he was cruel to me but maybe I am over exagerating?!? Why does he care what I am wearing, I didn't think it looked bad, heck, I got lots of good stares from it. He was even in a room that is closed off from the rest of the area we were in. It has blinds in the windows and his friend said 'what's up to me' and 'Frank' peeked through the blinds and that's when he talked to me. WHY? He didn't even have to speak to me being he was in the other room, I didn't even know he was in there till he opened his mouth.

 

If he wanted to do this to turn me off, it worked! But what would you say a 33 year old man is doing this after being such a charmer earlier on? His friend is also 30 so I don't think that they are acting out of immaturity. What do you think?

[JadeStar]

I think the main issue here isn't why hes acting the way he is, the main issue is, he is married with kids and you need to move on. He may be changing his appearence or acting/saying the same things around other women as well,sounds like a player, and he is loving the attention.

 

 

 

Jade