tolongaway Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 My partner and I signed up for couples massage a while ago.* I had assumed that we would be in the same room and would be getting the massage together.* It was my first ever massage so I did not know what to expect. Anyway when we arrived there was indeed a couple.* Two very young and very beautiful were the couple.* We were told we would be in separate rooms but adjoining.* Now the weird part for me was we had to make a decision as to who got whom.* Well I wasn‘t going to let a guy massage me but I also didn‘t really want this pretty Youngman massaging my partner either.* In the end my homophobia won out. To get to the point the massage really freaked me out. I was naked under a sheet with a beautiful young woman and at points during the massage it was far too sexual (in my mind) and my butt and genitals were brushed slightly a few times (I assure not intentional). Meanwhile I could hear my partner moaning from the next room (from the massage obviously) and she was obviously naked and under a sheet with beautiful man touching her. It was one of the most uncomfortable hours I had ever spent. I left feeling that I had betrayed my partner and I had somehow been unfaithful and this lead me to wonder about how she felt about having another man rub her all over her body. Is this type of reaction crazy? Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 Um yeah, that's wierd. Would you be uncomfortable with her having a male gyno too unless you were in the room?? My husband and I got massages on our honeymoon- I prefer a woman and so does he. I never got jealous of that...... I also think it's wierd that you could hear her moaning and groaning though. Link to post Share on other sites
zoey15 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 I think you are being silly. was your lady moaning like you'd make her moan in bed? If the answer is no, forget about this situation and just be aware next time you get a massage. I think you can request who gives them when you make the appointment. Don't worry, you're just being paranoid. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Damn I would kill for a massage right now! I also think you're over reacting on this... Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 You're paranoid!! Get it over it! And get over your homophobia too! It was only a massage...!! They are professionally trained people, and it is in no way sexual....!! Sounds like you have a few issues to work on there my friend!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tolongaway Posted September 9, 2005 Author Share Posted September 9, 2005 I was not in any way jealous of my S.O. she has been getting massages all her adult life and gives them as part of being a physio. The problem I was and still have is my feeling of being unfaithful. My S.O. does not mind if I have more massages but I really did not like the act of being naked with another woman. This lead me to the ridiculous thought of whats going on next door. Nothing was going on next door - but this experience made me think something so stupid. As to the moaning - was just reaction to deap massage. Erm - gyno thing, I have no say there, that is a health decision. However, I am more comfortable with the fact that my SO has a female and so is she (I had and never will have any input) Get over my homophobia. I have friends who are gay and I am fine with that. However, I was raped by a man when I was in my early 20's and would feel extremely uncomfortable if I had taken the male massus. I think I covered everything... The problems here are mine, I have complete trust in my Lady ... I talked to her about this and she thinks its kinda cute and silly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tolongaway Posted September 9, 2005 Author Share Posted September 9, 2005 You're paranoid!! Get it over it! And get over your homophobia too! It was only a massage...!! They are professionally trained people, and it is in no way sexual....!! Sounds like you have a few issues to work on there my friend!! I am completely OK now that you have told me to get over it and pointed out what the reality actually was. Now I can move on. Or maybe I should try and talk this through and get some peoples insights, work on the issues that I have. -Yes I think I will do that. Maybe its only your style but this isn't very helpful Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 I am completely OK now that you have told me to get over it and pointed out what the reality actually was. Now I can move on. Or maybe I should try and talk this through and get some peoples insights, work on the issues that I have. -Yes I think I will do that. Maybe its only your style but this isn't very helpful Perhaps had your OP been more explanatory I wouldn't have been as blunt as I was! I can clearly now understand why you had an issue, and although I didn't need to hear exactly why to understand, you could have certainly been more explanatory and received less 'get over yourself' comments. I was not in any way jealous of my S.O. she has been getting massages all her adult life and gives them as part of being a physio. In this case you must surely understand that the giving and receiving of a massage is simply a professional service being given to a customer. There is nothing sexual about this in the slightest and you seem to understand this with regards to your gf. So why do you feel so bad about having recieved one? Is there something you're not mentioning? Did you have lurid thoughts about the massus thereby making you feel more guilty? At the end of the day, you've discussed this with your partner and you know how she feels and vice versa. Perhaps the most sensible option would be to work through with your gf why you felt 'unfaithful' by having recieved a massage. If she does this professionally, she's probably best placed to answer most of your fears and concerns. There, hope that was more helpful! Sorry if you found my bluntness rude! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tolongaway Posted September 9, 2005 Author Share Posted September 9, 2005 Thank you I did not mean to be snappy - having a bad week. I am just exploring the thoughts as they present themselves. I guess maybe I was wondering if anyone else felt uncomfortable in such situations. I wont be getting any more massages because it makes me feel uncomfortable. I did not have to have any lurid thoughts to feel uncomfortable with the massage. I was not trying to have it be sexual. It was my first massage and I expected to be in the same room as my SO. Like you said it is not supposed to be sexual but that is the way it feels to me. I guess by the sounds of the replys I am strange and maybe a bit weird. I can live with that :0) Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Not necessarily weird...!! No, I think you probably just have slightly different boundaries than other people. With the explanation of your rape taken into account, this would speak volumes to me as to why you might feel this type of touching is more inappropriate or sexual than many other people would. Your boundaries are going to be different; your personal space is probably larger than others. Do you feel uncomfortable in other situations where maybe close, although not necessarily sexual, contact is required? I wouldn’t be surprised if you did. I only had my first massage last year, and I loved it! I knew I would have to undress and didn’t have an issue with that at all. I found it very relaxing and not at all sexual! I think this is probably the average view. But if it doesn’t float your boat… who cares!! At least you tried something new before deciding it wasn’t for you. As an after thought, so you don’t have to miss out, perhaps your gf could give you the odd massage, thereby putting you in a situation where you can allow it to be a sexual situation, and you won’t feel unfaithful to her in any respect! Have fun whatever you do! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tolongaway Posted September 9, 2005 Author Share Posted September 9, 2005 I have already bought a massage table :-) Link to post Share on other sites
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