Ilovecolors Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 This anonymus user on the internet thinks that no guy would ever approach me? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Why do you care what some anonymous poster thinks? It would be better to just give social media a rest than have strangers tear down your self esteem. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilovecolors Posted June 25, 2018 Author Share Posted June 25, 2018 But if I give e it a break I might not find a boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 It is better to meet people in person and let a relationship happen organically. Do you go out with friends? If so, that's when you will meet guys. Start doing active things to meet men. Still, why would you let a stranger you've never met destroy your confidence? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 You give that person's opinion what it's worth: not much. They don't know you. You don't know them. I think you will have more success finding a BF off the internet then on it but I'm old fashioned. Link to post Share on other sites
maxi105 Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 (edited) ilc....hi there, yes I agree with what others are saying here, maybe come off line and meet people in the real world. you can see a lot clearer if you are really getting on with them, you can get an idea of them and they can of you. how would anyone online possibly know stranger or not if you are never going to meet anyone!!!! the fact is that people meet others every single day provided they are not totally cut off from people (be it due to choice or any number of other situations) and as I often say here, love can and often does happen when you are not expecting it, when you are not chasing to find it or have expectations that are all resting on that one person or that one big event where you know (or think or hope) that any one who is anything will be there. the world is a big place and if you actually get out and about in the sunshine (unless you are in a country where the winter is present now) but even then romance can blossom in the snow and frost....then you need to do your bit to try and boost yourself esteem and stimulate the things that you enjoy so when you meet that person just as an encounter then things may at least bring a friendship and that person may know someone, or may invite you somewhere where after the 3rd time of going or meeting someone who knows someone ect....you get the gyst. there is so much competition and displaying online, there are good people out there, but its all about if you can sell yourself sometimes, whether your happy to be judged by often pretty shallow measures. with a real person you get a more real picture, sure you can still have liars and cheats trying it on with you, but somehow you can see things a lot more quickly in person. the problem with online is that so many people looking for genuine love can get hooked into other peoples mind games and you don't realise till you've been had! your minimal post (I don't mean this to sound unkind0 but it comes over as you are trying and want to meet someone almost at all costs! that in itself can or could make you vuneable to online characters who are just looking for someone to take the bait and then throw them back into the waters laughing Laughing as they go. You cant always tell who are scammers,who are married, who are not just looking for sex or whether people are goingto treat you kindly…the list is endless….its not all bad though, but havingread your brief post I wouldn’t bother for a while, it try something else andsee if that brings any rewards. Why the hurry to have a boyfriend. Single people do justfine and the ones that are ready to move when the time is right rather thanworrying or giving into pressure unusually are the ones that can have fun doingwhat they enjoy which usually brings out the admirers to them in a room Being in a relationship is no instant guarantee of happinessfulfilled, you have to be happy in yourself first and then work with the personand hope they want to work with you to keep things going. If it were me, id concentrate on little things that I enjoyand can smarten up or change for the better and get back out there and godancing (or whatever it is that you like to do). If your short of money, it doesn’t have to cost millionseither. Use the weather, find out what is going on locally, if you wanna branchout then go with friends or somewhere on your own whatever and just get outthere The internet isn’t going to solve every single problem inyour life…..and besides….there was still romance and love before all of thistechnology was even invented…..so I don’t think you have any kind of case to say if you cannot access the internet you’ll never get a boyfriend!!!!! Hahah Make the most of yourself, get some friends and go and havefun, if you have no friends make the most of yourself and go out and have fun….dontbe too quick to let everyone else steer you into what life is supposed to run like. ]You sound young (but not in a bad way, and what I mean isthat you sound able to get out and an age that wants and enjoys fun times, soenjoy it whilst you can). Life is for living and you have to do the best youcan so when the really tough times come down on you you can look back and sayyes, they were good times and good times can come back again Ok, im done on this one. But good luck to you, and if youare still struggling then talk to your friends openly and honestly about yoursituation they know you , love you and im sure would want to help see you out ok. Hope that helps a little. Maxi. Edited June 25, 2018 by maxi105 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 Like l;'ve told all these guys 1oo times, shooting themselves in the foot all over the internet moaning about how easy it is for women, BS. IT's an allusion and they just fuel it more with their whining all over the net. Finding a real partner is just as hard for either, messaging strangers online 20 yrs isn't finding real partners, really, rarely amounts to anything for either cept burn out, that's all over the net too. So l dunno , doesn;t matter what they say but for yourself, be open to both, live, who knows. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilovecolors Posted June 26, 2018 Author Share Posted June 26, 2018 I can only find a boyfriend on dating websites and not in person? Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 Why do you say that? My experience was that I had 100x more success online than in person, simply because my work and hobbies provided few opportunities to meet single women. Of course, once you meet them for a date, you've met in person! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 I can only find a boyfriend on dating websites and not in person? Are you asking us for some kind of permission or making a statement? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 This anonymus user on the internet thinks that no guy would ever approach me? What made him say this to you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 I think that’s normal for working adults, especially those with married friends. Most people don’t want to date coworkers and as Central said, opportunities may be limited under normal circumstances. Online is just a medium for meeting people you wouldn’t otherwise meet. You’re not online once you meet in person. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 I had the opposite experience. I only found a few unsuitable people who expressed interest on line but never had trouble meeting people in real life. I went on a total of 2 (bad) dates from on line but had several fulfilling relationships from real life including my marriage. What are you doing IRL to meet people? Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 Does it really matter where you meet them? Everything from the first date onwards is in person anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 I hear you. I NEVER meet anyone - work, parties, going out, etc. The only avenue to meet anyone for me is the internet and 90% of the time you meet that person once then never hear a word again. The other 10% we will text for another 2-3 days after the first meeting and then it dies. So I feel you. Just keep on moving forward as much as you possibly can with other things, but I know what your loneliness and frustration is like. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 I always had success meeting in person. I am of a different generation tho. I can't see how on line would be better. I'm not single, but still had plenty of interest at my job because of the high traffic of people that go through here. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 I can only find a boyfriend on dating websites and not in person? Well your not the only one. I was like for a while. Then I found out how to do it in person to ask the girl out. Once you know how to do it the confidence level will rise. Not everyone can do it... Online you get to know the person by mind to mind chatting. Outside you get to know the person visually mouth to mouth. A lot of people just can't do it in person. No wrong or right way to say that. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 I always had success meeting in person. I am of a different generation tho. I can't see how on line would be better. I'm not single, but still had plenty of interest at my job because of the high traffic of people that go through here. What generation is that? It's not about generation it's about who has dared you to ask the guy out or the guy was brave enough to ask you out. But your still with the same guy right? Now I am asking in person. Online is easier for people they don't have to try so hard. The rest who can do in person have it easier. I learned either way works. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 I hear you. I NEVER meet anyone - work, parties, going out, etc. The only avenue to meet anyone for me is the internet and 90% of the time you meet that person once then never hear a word again. The other 10% we will text for another 2-3 days after the first meeting and then it dies. So I feel you. Just keep on moving forward as much as you possibly can with other things, but I know what your loneliness and frustration is like. But once you leave the internet you can meet them in person. Say you go to a party and they guy is interested in you. Comes over you talk then he might ask you out in person. I had that happen to me at a friends party. So in person can happen. I seize the moment, I don't care who they are if I think they're on the same level as me I going to ask them out. What worst thing can happen their married or seeing someone. But just have to take the risk. Online you kinda know what your getting involved with. Link to post Share on other sites
becca564 Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 I am the same. I used to think it was perhaps because I gave off the wrong vibes or I wasn't as pretty as some girls in the same venue and whilst that still may be part of the reason, I have found when I meet someone online and then it progresses to real life, they have been successful dates and it has only not progressed as there wasn't a spark for me. It actually gave me a bit of confidence that perhaps I can be attractive to some people I think online dating, like most things, has just become the norm given how busy people are studying/working etc. Plus I know when I go out, I am with my family or friends and I am having a good time so I usually am very unaware if there are any men around and if so, I can guarantee I would not be giving off the kind of signals that they would want to approach me as I am too occupied with other people. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 I am the same. I used to think it was perhaps because I gave off the wrong vibes or I wasn't as pretty as some girls in the same venue and whilst that still may be part of the reason, I have found when I meet someone online and then it progresses to real life, they have been successful dates and it has only not progressed as there wasn't a spark for me. It actually gave me a bit of confidence that perhaps I can be attractive to some people I think online dating, like most things, has just become the norm given how busy people are studying/working etc. Plus I know when I go out, I am with my family or friends and I am having a good time so I usually am very unaware if there are any men around and if so, I can guarantee I would not be giving off the kind of signals that they would want to approach me as I am too occupied with other people. Next time you go out with the family? Look around and see if any man is smiling back at you. That's how you know if they're interested in you. Just as you talk to your family and friends in person you can do the same with a guy in person. Looks doesn't matter because the guy that likes you will smile because he likes what he sees in you. Get it now.. Online we can all hide and then take that best pic and hope for the best. Now you are who you are inside and out show the world. See who likes you with their smile at you! So close your eyes and stare and see who's smiling at you.. Just never know until you try... Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 I think it's easier online when you get a huge amount of message per day. But a lot of that is easy so I tend to find a lot of men wanting easy... easy dates, easy sex, etc. I can have a fun conversation with most people and enjoy the bit of time I share with them. I find very few of them will turn into something quality that I want to enjoy for more than a moment. I tend to meet a lot more people outside of OLD. I am in several large groups so I am able to meet a number of people through there. Many of the guys I meet there have had enough interactions with me that I feel like they are trying more than a random person off of OLD. As for out in the street it can happen but you need to be a little more bold - smile, start conversations, tease, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilovecolors Posted June 26, 2018 Author Share Posted June 26, 2018 Because my mom and dad won't inroudce me to any guys for me to date. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 They may not know any suitable people. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 Because my mom and dad won't inroudce me to any guys for me to date. Most likely because they know what these guys are capable of and don't want their daughter caught up in that foolishness. I would think that the people they know and socialize with are in their age brackets and not yours. Your friends don't know anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
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