tuciarz Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 (edited) my ex girlfriend broke up with me 3 months ago. we were together for 2 years but we know each other for 8 years. I was trying to get her back without beeing too much needy or desperated for 2,5 month but she was very cold to me, she said that there is no chance we will be together again etc. In last two weeks i noticed change in her attitude. she invited me to her place for a movie. We had greate times. 2 days later we went to a park to spend some time on a blanket near to a lake and everything was fine. After next 2 day we went for a movie but she seemed to be sad. She was alse a little bit angry because she told me she spent 2 hours in front of the mirror and it started to rain while we were walking to the cinema. after the movie we went to a bar to grab some beer. we hardly talked but it wasnt awkward. We just sit there, drink our beers. there was no rush to going home. After i walked her home she posted quote from into the wild "Happiness is only real when shared" on her instastory which is weird to me because she has never done something like this before. The next day i asked if she slept well and we talked for a while and everything was fine. I reminded her to dont umbrella today and ended up conversation after 10 minutes because i dont want to overwhelm her with me. does someone know what is going on here and what can i do about it? should i ask her out in next few days or what? Edited September 25, 2018 by tuciarz Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 It makes no sense to me. She broke up with you. Obviously she wanted some change in her life. She told you that there was no chance to get back together. Yet here she is spending time with you on what look like dates & calling you. So she's either a liar; doesn't know her own mind; thinks these interactions are what post break up friendship looks like or most probably is using you because you are safe old reliable you & now that she has learned that the dating scene is tough, is using you to stroke her ego. Either way you are getting the short end of the stick. You would be better off clarifying from her what this is & walking away if it's not a real attempt reconcile. Anything else is you getting played. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 My guess is that she has put you into the friend zone. At 2.5 months she probably feels enough time has passed for you both to be friends again. She seems to be quite happy with as is, no pleas to get back together, no saying sorry, no clinging to you with big heartfelt sobs, so I think you are now Mr Best Friend, next she will be telling you about her dates... Sorry! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuciarz Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 she knows that i have feelings for her and i won't be just her friend. She is having hard times right now because she is struggling with her job, she is thinking about moving somewhere else to different city, she is not getting on well with new roommate in flat in which we were supposed to live together. Despite she told me she is thinking about changing the city, she sent me few apartments in current city to show me that she is looking something here. generally there is a huge mess in her head right now and i know that. I also know that she met few times a guy from her work who is totally not in her type and actually it doesnt bother me at all because i know my value and i really tried to find something better in him but i didnt find anything. From my point of view it looks like she is trying to replace thoughts about me focusing on someone else. It is because we were best friends. She never talked more to someone else than to me. And also i didnt talk to someone else more. So every time she has a need to talk to me, she reach out to him. But those are only my thoughts and you dont have to believe it. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 You are the safety net . . . Old Faithful. She's using you until some hot new guy comes along. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Yeah, you've just got to be careful. Like you have said, you were very good friends. So obviously, she misses that part. But does she ever want to have sex with you again, or is that part over? I think you have a right to ask that hard question. If you're such good friends, tell her, Our breakup seems vague. Are we "just friends" now? Is that what you want? Or are you thinking we'll get back together as a couple who has sex like before? Just ask her. She may not know yet. But if she says just friends, you'll have to decide if you can do that and move on at the same time. There are lots of women who want to move on to other guys to have sex with, new exciting guys, but remain friends, and I was one of them certainly. It's not uncommon. Most men don't want to just be friends after they've already been lovers and can't handle it and/or don't want to waste their time. Link to post Share on other sites
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