khalessi Posted September 25, 2018 Posted September 25, 2018 Hi, Just want some insight on the phrases "no chemistry" "no romantic connection" "no emotional connection" How many dates does it take you to feel this with someone ? Also what does this even mean to you ? A lot of dates tell me I dont have a romantic connection and no chemistry with them even when I really really like them and think it is going welll, is it something the wrong with me? Or is this maybe code for something else they dont want to say... How come people suddenly decide to cut things off? Can it come back if the person lost it already ? Does the mean the person finds you are empty? What if ur just bad at flirting or nervous, can that ruin it too?
smackie9 Posted September 25, 2018 Posted September 25, 2018 Yes , yes ,a code yes and nope. Cutting things off could be from, turn off, don't find you attractive or there is a better option.
kendahke Posted September 25, 2018 Posted September 25, 2018 (edited) How many dates does it take you to feel this with someone ? It takes 20 minutes into the first meeting for me to figure this out. I will know whether or not I will see him a second time by the time the 20 minutes are up. Last guy I met, I knew within 10 minutes that he wasn't going to work. We just didn't have anything like connection (plus he had really bad teeth). The guy I met before that--we hit it off very well, but things didn't work due to some Pennsyltucky crap going on in his life. If those things didn't exist, we'd still be going for it. Edited September 25, 2018 by kendahke 1
I'veseenbetterlol Posted September 25, 2018 Posted September 25, 2018 For sure that feeling happens to me the 1st date. I went on 3 dates w/a guy just to give him a chance, never worked out. There was also a situation that as soon as I saw the guy, I was completely turned off. He ended up being really strange and I only continued the date because he travelled and I didn't want to be mean. 1
central Posted September 25, 2018 Posted September 25, 2018 No chemistry usually means there is no sexual attraction. That could be for any of a number of reasons: lack of physical attraction; dislike of something about your personality; incompatible pheromones; mismatched major histocompatibility complex (MHC); etc. Attraction is usually almost instantaneous. After that, time spent (even on one date) either confirms it enough to meet again, or reveals why that attraction is either wrong, or a bad idea.
elaine567 Posted September 25, 2018 Posted September 25, 2018 I agree attraction is almost instantaneous. First quesiton - Can I see myself kissing and sleeping with this guy yes, no or maybe? No is a waste of time, yes is self explanatory and maybe means I will give him maybe 10 minutes, maybe another date, maybe another few dates... depending on how it all pans out... 1
ZA Dater Posted September 26, 2018 Posted September 26, 2018 I tend to agree you either like someone or you don't and this happens quite quickly and yes its not really very nice to be on the wrong side of this but you need to keep some hope you will one day find that mutual attraction.
Chilli Posted September 26, 2018 Posted September 26, 2018 Yeah , few seconds , but eh , given nerves and stuff on both parts , if you really like her of course an hour or two , a day or two , a month or two , all up to you, sometimes ya gotta give things a chance.
shydad Posted September 26, 2018 Posted September 26, 2018 is it something the wrong with me? No, it's not something wrong with you. It needs to be felt by both people, and it's nobody's fault if it doesn't happen. To me, chemistry means when two people are just really into each other...excited and thrilled to be together. It will happen immediately, on the first date (or even sooner) and will be obvious without any doubts. If one person feels that way, but not the other, there is no chemistry. If you start off by just liking each other, I'm still uncertain if you can develop chemistry. I'm hoping other users will provide more detail and firsthand experience.
sdraw108 Posted September 26, 2018 Posted September 26, 2018 It isn't just about sex. It's also about "clicking" on a personal level. When there is chemistry, the conversation flows freely, you smile at each other, you take pleasure in the company, etc. When there is no chemistry the conversation is forced and you find yourself having to think of things to say. It feels like an effort. This is definitely a separate aspect to sex. Otherwise you would have "chemistry" with every single attractive person you walk past on the street. 3
Whodatdog Posted September 26, 2018 Posted September 26, 2018 Its definitely not about sex. You can have sex with someone without having chemistry. Its just sex. Chemistry is a deeper feeling. A spark, a flutter, your heart beats a little faster. You think about them when you're apart...its a deeper feeling than just liking someone, or having sex. You know when you feel it. 4
katie6171 Posted September 27, 2018 Posted September 27, 2018 For sure that feeling happens to me the 1st date. I went on 3 dates w/a guy just to give him a chance' date=' never worked out. There was also a situation that as soon as I saw the guy, I was completely turned off. He ended up being really strange and I only continued the date because he travelled and I didn't want to be mean.[/quote'] Hey I’ve Seen Better If you don’t mind me asking. What state are you in? I was just going to post the same about someone I just had a relationship in. Curious if it’s the same?
todreaminblue Posted September 27, 2018 Posted September 27, 2018 before i date someone...i already know them normally as friends for me to want to know them more intimately...sometimes years...there's always something there....sometimes i cant define it....but my heart feels them....thats why when i date......its always long lasting.........through nerves and flaws that become obvious, my heart has stamina...i only date when im ready for a relationship i dont date for the sake of it or to possibly hurt someone with rejection..that way ....i dont worry about not having "chemistry or a connection..when i deviate from what comes natural to me with dating...its when someone gets hurt...me or them...and so far i have a pretty good track record when i date..........deb.....
newyorker11356 Posted September 27, 2018 Posted September 27, 2018 Even with being with my current girlfriend, I honestly still couldn't tell you.
smackie9 Posted September 27, 2018 Posted September 27, 2018 Every situation is different. I met a temp worker, he was fit, attractive, but as soon as I spent a few mins talking with him, something hit me in the gut that something wasn't right about him. As the day went on, I found out he, had a DUI and had a breathalyzer in his broken down car, lived in a recovery house, only had one relationship in his life (he's 37 btw) has anger issues, and he hates authority. So there is one reason or another why some people will ghost or turn right off. With this guy, it just proved that I can rely on my gut instinct once again. 1
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