Physical Abuse Provocation??

[Centain88]

I am aware of the widely accepted views regarding domestic violence, that there is never an excuse for physical violence. That the physically aggressive partner is completely to blame for their violent behaviour, and the suggestion that they were ‘provoked’ by verbal/emotional (non-physical) abuse from their spouse, is not even a possibility worth considering. The partner who becomes physically aggressive is always the abusive one and the other partner is always the innocent victim? Surely there are exceptions to this? As much as we constantly receive messages that DV is never the result of ‘provocation’, I find it a bit hard to believe. Every single case of physical partner violence that has ever occured anywhere has not been the result of verbal/emotional provocation from a partner?? What do other people think about this?

[basil67]

Yes, there are times when someone can push our buttons to the point where we completely lose it. But the answer in this situation is for the person who's infuriated to walk away - not thump their partner. The person who feels infuriated also has to ask themselves why they choose to be someone who is verbally or emotionally abusive.

 

That said, the person who is verbally or emotionally abusive also needs to take responsibility for their own behaviour.

[bathtub-row]

I think most people who strike out at another feels antagonized in one way or another. But abusers typically take things way too far in how they interpret situations. But, yes, absolutely a person can provoke another into violence. At our core, we are animals and will react violently in given situations. Anyone who forgets that is asking for trouble. Case in point, the woman who stabbed her husband nearly 40 times because she snapped after years of abuse. Who can blame her, really? She was trapped, provoked, imprisoned. Everyone has a breaking point.

 

The thing is, when a person lets that happen, they have taken things to a different level. And that affects them as much as the other person. The dynamics between two people in violent relationships are very dangerous because they continually push each other’s buttons. People in those situations should leave if at all possible.

[Mardelis]

It sounds to me like you're suggesting that sometimes it's ok for one person to strike another person if they're provoked in some way.

 

 

The short answer is "No". It's never ok to be physically abusive to another person. Regardless of how they may have made you feel. That's not the same thing as reacting in a physical way in self defense or defending another person from danger.

[carhill]

Assault isn't just physical. Threats aren't necessarily a closed fist or a gun.

 

Back in my generation, violence, or the threat of violence, was an acceptable method to settle disputes. Yep, women got beaten. Men got whacked with frying pans and chopped with knives.

 

Coming out of that era, my motto became I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by six. The enemy or threat was irrelevant. That basic tenet was rolled into the professional firearm training over the decades.

 

If you're talking about a woman being verbally abusive/emotionally manipulative as provocation for a man using physical force, nah, they're not worth it. Walk away. Leave them to their mental prison. Billions more out there.

 

However, if a threat is perceived, don't waffle and let them cook you up like Larissa did to Tim. Women hold no high ground on violence and murder. Don't think they're all soft and squishy and gentle. There's a lot of evil ones out there. Stay safe!

[preraph]

The only one responsible for you flying off the handle and getting physical and abusive is you.

 

If a person is verbally abusive to you in a serious way, demeaning you, etc., that's abuse too, but nothing warrants physical abuse. Why? You can always walk away and leave. The person being abused can't always because the abuser won't let them. No exceptions. No one makes you act out violently unless you are defending yourself from a physical attack.