Now millennials are killing...the divorce rate

[lana-banana]

LBH hits on one of the issues here: part of the reason divorces are falling is because marriage is increasingly for wealthier, more settled couples. Even those who can afford an actual wedding may not want to be legally tied to someone with serious debt. So while healthy marriages are a good thing, they also point to increasing class stratification in the US.

 

And it's also correct that it's not just millenials (although the oldest millenials are 40, so it's reasonable to assume that many of them have been married for at least 15 years). Divorce rates peaked in about 1990 and have been declining since. We have Generation X and feminists to thank for leading the way.

[Wallysbears]

I have three sets of friends where marriage is concerned:

 

1. Those who married and had kids early (ie. they didn't necessarily go to college but rather went right into the working world post high school and got married and had kids young)

 

2. Those who married college sweethearts right after college

 

3. Those who married later

 

 

Group 1 and 2 have seen a much higher divorce and separation rate than group 3. Group 3 is also the best off financially/stability wise.

 

I'm Gen X, not millennial. But I'd be willing to bet the same trend will be seen across millennials also as time progresses.

[BettyDraper]

It's important not to idealize long marriages to the point of ignoring the fact that some marriages should never continue. Many couples live in a state of sad desperation because they can't bear the thought of losing the perks of being married. Some use the excuse of staying for their children when the children are being damaged by what they are seeing in their parents' marriages.

 

My parents have been married for over 40 years. There has been rampant infidelity and abuse. They have retired to a tropical island paradise and they still can't stand each other. I know they will never divorce because they do not want to split assets and they certainly aren't going to start over at this point in their lives. My parents' marriage is long but I wouldn't want it.

[LuckyM]

It is well known that women can and do get along in life without a man better (emotionally)than men do without a woman. And I think women know this

and the fact that many of them are more financially independent opens the difference more so. I simply state the fact---no judgment.

 

I read somewhere that more women initiate the divorce than men do. And from the comments on this forum, I see why.

[guest569]

It is well known that women can and do get along in life without a man better (emotionally)than men do without a woman. And I think women know this

and the fact that many of them are more financially independent opens the difference more so. I simply state the fact---no judgment.

 

I read somewhere that more women initiate the divorce than men do. And from the comments on this forum, I see why.

 

 

I have to agree, from my experience looking in. I know quite a few men who appear to rush into the next relationship, and women who are happily divorced and single. No judgement here either, although it does shock me when the partner isn't even cold in the ground yet.

[Els]

 

And the stress of being married is 3 fold of single, l know, l was married 20yrs and believe me, it is much much easier all round being single.

 

 

But have you been single for 20 years?

 

 

I think the men who suffer the most from being single are the older men, not so much the younger ones. For some reason, all the older men I see who outlived their wives, had a shocking decline not too much later. It was as if they had lost all will to live. I'm not sure why - it could be that men of that generation did not know how to look after themselves since the wife had always done so, or perhaps they did not have the strong emotional bonds with other men that women typically have with other women.

[chillii]

If they are troubled it's because their elders didn't raise them well. Apparently those with broken families are less likely to have successful and lasting relationships. So the divorce cycle continues.

 

 

l've really worried about this for my daughters future. 18, So l've never ever ran down marriage or relationships , or my ex , and try to only put across positive things , but common sense realistic things too, l'm really hoping it helps her later.

[chillii]

LBH hits on one of the issues here: part of the reason divorces are falling is because marriage is increasingly for wealthier, more settled couples. Even those who can afford an actual wedding may not want to be legally tied to someone with serious debt. So while healthy marriages are a good thing, they also point to increasing class stratification in the US.

 

And it's also correct that it's not just millenials (although the oldest millenials are 40, so it's reasonable to assume that many of them have been married for at least 15 years). Divorce rates peaked in about 1990 and have been declining since. We have Generation X and feminists to thank for leading the way.

 

 

 

 

Well , l dunno about the US but my sister taught school in all the wealthy areas here and nearly every student came from broken families and the kids were sadly a bit of a mess.

 

But she later switched over to the other side of town and into working class schools and there were far more families still together and both parent kids , so l dunno about that.

l also heard on something too can't remember , that average working class families and kids were on average much happier than wealthier families and l think l'd believe that too from what l've seen.

Edited April 13, 2019 by chillii

[JuneL]

Well , l dunno about the US but my sister taught school in all the wealthy areas here and nearly every student came from broken families and the kids were sadly a bit of a mess.

 

But she later switched over to the other side of town and into working class schools and there were far more families still together and both parent kids , so l dunno about that.

l also heard on something can't remember , that average working class families and kids were on average much happier than wealthier families and l think l'd believe that too from what l've seen.

 

I think it depends on the definition of “wealthy”. I just can’t imagine the real wealthy couples divorce less. But if one defines being wealthy as not some deadbeat living in his mother’s basement playing video games all day, then it can be true that these deadbeat guys don’t get married in the first place. So if the lower divorce rate (assuming it’s even valid) is the consequence of a certain demographic group not getting married in the first place, then it doesn’t mean marriages have become stronger.