Girl randomly cut all contact with me

[shypshnius]

So i've met this new girl on tinder like 2 months ago. We used to chat every single day for like a month before we finally met 3 times. (she lives quite far so..). The thing is, she went to another country like 3 weeks ago to earn some money. She was planning to stay there for 2 months. We were still getting in contact with each other every single day, i usually called her twice a week too and we had great converstations even though she admitted that she feels quite depressed there and is usually really sad/in a bad mood. But the thing is: when i messaged her 3 days ago, she just randomly replied with: "we can't talk anymore, please do not message me anymore". I got really confused since i really liked this girl and i asked her what's wrong. She just told me that, every time she talked on phone with me, she felt like she was getting really attached to me and she doesn't want it. She also said: "i will message you myself when i can but it might take a long long time". I just wished her good luck and that's how it ended.. I feel really sad since we used to talk for like 2 straight months, almost every day.. The 3 dates we had were also great, in a romantic case too. So i really can't tell why she decided to cut all the contact with me..

 

Any opinions appreciated. Thank you!

[PRW]

Ok, I'll break it down.

 

You didn't actually ask the question in the subject line. The answer is,... after the second or third message you should arrange to meet

 

We used to chat every single day for like a month before we finally met 3 times.

 

Chat for 3 months before meeting?, that is absolutely horrible "game".

 

We were still getting in contact with each other every single day, i usually called her twice a week too and we had great converstations

...or so you thought it was great. Horrible "game".

 

even though she admitted that she feels quite depressed there and is usually really sad/in a bad mood.

Via the "bad mood" she is mildly saying "Leave me alone"

 

But the thing is: when i messaged her 3 days ago, she just randomly replied with: "we can't talk anymore, please do not message me anymore".

Now she just comes out an says it,...bluntly

 

She just told me that, every time she talked on phone with me, she felt like she was getting really attached to me and she doesn't want it.

She is saying that she is not interested in you,...period.

 

She also said: "i will message you myself when i can but it might take a long long time". I just wished her good luck and that's how it ended.

She is saying, "Don't call me, I'll call you,...but don't hold your breath."

 

The 3 dates we had were also great, in a romantic case too.

I can't comment on that. I have no details. It doesn't really matter anyway.

 

The phone is for setting dates, not for getting to know someone. Stop being a serial texter, stop being a pen pal, stop being a phone buddy.

[spiderowl]

Sorry to hear what happened, that's really tough.

 

There seem to be a few possibilities:

 

She lost interest but didn't know how to say so, so she carried on chatting then suddenly cut things off

 

She was interested and then met someone else where she is now and had to cut things off. She could have told you that she met someone though

 

She did not go abroad to work but was expected to go by her family to find a 'suitable' husband. Where is her family from originally? This is a possibility if she is from certain Asian countries. Has she ever talked about her family and their expectations of her?

 

Whatever the scenario, your best course of action now is to stay away. That way, if she really was getting more attached and felt you were right for her, she will be in touch. If she does not get in touch, you will get used to life without her.

 

I know it hurts and it's hard to do this but once a woman says she cannot talk any longer, you need to firstly try to find out why (she has not been helpful with this) and then quickly back off and let her take the next step if she is going to. Leave it up to her now, she may well find she misses you more than she thought.