d0nnivain Posted September 27, 2018 Share Posted September 27, 2018 And so it begins . . . . While women are generally more into it, if the guy is completely abdicating that's a bad sign that he does not care about you or being married to you. The wedding is a party. The marriage is the important part. Push this wedding back to April or May of 2020. You will be happier that you did. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 27, 2018 Share Posted September 27, 2018 In my generation the men stayed out of wedding planning. That was a female thing, generally the bride and her sisters and mother/aunts. The bride's father footed the bill. Why? If momma ain't happy no one is happy and with wedding planning that's a perpetually moving target men don't want to deal with. Most of my friends did their bachelor parties and showed up when and where instructed. Some are still married decades later so I guess it worked out OK. Yep, this is the way I like it. Men are involved with everything now. They even show up at the Bride's wedding shower. It used to be so much fun when it was only girls at Showers. Link to post Share on other sites
devilish innocent Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 My husband was never very interested in the wedding planning. I bought him a wedding planning book for grooms and asked for his plan on some things so he did contribute some. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 28, 2018 Share Posted September 28, 2018 (edited) Yep, this is the way I like it. Men are involved with everything now. They even show up at the Bride's wedding shower. It used to be so much fun when it was only girls at Showers. I would find it quite sad personally if the groom was not involved at ALL. After all, it's his wedding too. While there were certainly a few stressful moments in the planning of our wedding, we also have fond memories of all the ideas we came up with together and working on some of the DIY projects together. Regardless of how the actual wedding turns out (thunderstorm at a garden wedding anyone? Hope the best man won't forget the rings... ), those memories will be ours to keep. Obviously this doesn't mean that men have to be there on hen's night.... Edited September 28, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author Destini Posted October 1, 2018 Author Share Posted October 1, 2018 Is his focus no longer on them? because he hasn’t communicated with his ex since two weeks before the engagement. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah_Smiles Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 One would like to hope so, that exes are just that for a reason, left in the past, not to take into the future and keep alongside new relationships. Some people hold on to exes that were first friends and then lovers, but I only know a handful that has done that ( both genders). Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 Just the opposite. On of my guy buddies used to call his wedding ring the "ring of power" because it made women who wouldn't give him the time of day when he was single flirt like crazy with him. Some women flirt because they think it's harmless that the guy won't cheat & it's just talk. Others want another woman's man. Your FI is no good. He's a cad with a wandering eye. He would be engaged to his EX before you if she'd have him. You have always been his consolation prize. Get out of this before you mess up your life for good. Your FI communicating with his EX a mere 2 weeks before proposing to you is a PROBLEM. When he hasn't thought about her or spoken to her in 2 years, then you have something. Now, you simply fail to realize he wants her but is settling for you. Why do you want to be some guy's 2nd choice? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 Is his focus no longer on them? because he hasn’t communicated with his ex since two weeks before the engagement. I hate to be cynical, but wow, two whole weeks of fidelity! Destini, you've gotten the same advice across multiple threads. Marriage isn't for the faint-hearted or uncommitted. You need - and deserve - a partner who's all in and this isn't it. Sorry... Mr. Lucky 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Destini Posted October 6, 2018 Author Share Posted October 6, 2018 From my previous threads, as much as I have tried to persuade myself, after reading so many responses and a lot of thinking, it makes me wonder if it’s only lust that he feels toward me and his ex and he doesn’t really or never really loved or loves either one of us. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 From my previous threads, as much as I have tried to persuade myself, after reading so many responses and a lot of thinking, it makes me wonder if it’s only lust that he feels toward me and his ex and he doesn’t really or never really loved or loves either one of us. That depends on the guy in question. Everyone loves or not loves. Some can't say the words some can some can't express with feeling or touch. Just express it with object instead.. Flowers or money. But money can't buy love! Link to post Share on other sites
Rocker71 Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 In my case I noticed that initially I can feel lust toward a woman, but if I get to the point of caring for her or feeling like I may be in love with her the lust goes away and she becomes unattractive to me. Yes I can feel lust toward more than one woman at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
Malin889 Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 We plan on getting married in April or May and I’m trying to start early and get everything together and he told me to do all the planning and that he was just gonna show up the day of the wedding.Are most men like this and just allow you to plan the whole thing? It seems stressful. Ask your friends and family to help you. Do they like him/approve of this relationship? Also, what will he be doing while you're running around planning the wedding? Don't make it stressful for yourself. Weddings should be fun and people get bent out of shape about them. Make it small and intimate, just family and a few friends, and have it in someone's back yard. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 7, 2018 Share Posted October 7, 2018 (edited) From my previous threads, as much as I have tried to persuade myself, after reading so many responses and a lot of thinking, it makes me wonder if it’s only lust that he feels toward me and his ex and he doesn’t really or never really loved or loves either one of us. Based on all your threads about him and your very dysfunctional relationship - no, he doesn't love either one of you. Go back and re-read what you wrote here: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/661498-i-crazy-think-i-could-change-him And here: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/663954-good-news-updated I'm sorry to be a wet blanket, but Destini, you know this has never been a healthy relationship and certainly not the foundation for a marriage. Him not being involved in the wedding planning is the least of your problems here. Edited October 7, 2018 by ExpatInItaly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheRainbow Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 I got married at 22, and I planned the majority of the wedding. It wasn't a bit wedding. Thirty guests, in a small hall in a neighboring town. We had moved from most of our family just before we got married. My husband did help set up day of. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 Is he any more interested in planning now that there's a bun in the oven? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 From my previous threads, as much as I have tried to persuade myself, after reading so many responses and a lot of thinking, it makes me wonder if it’s only lust that he feels toward me and his ex and he doesn’t really or never really loved or loves either one of us. It's too late now to be asking yourself these questions. You need to grow up into a woman and a responsible mother. Get that marriage so you & your child are fully protected by law. You've made your bed now you need to lay in it. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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