littlechoices Posted September 27, 2018 Share Posted September 27, 2018 Note: I'm really bad w/ processing emotions (although good w/ business stuff) so any help is appreciated. Lol. When we had a talk yesterday ago... I felt like I was the weak person for breaking up. That I didn't fight for it. Well... ---------------------- Dear Ex: Why did you change only when it's too late?, We've spent 9 years together. Our tenth year will be on April 2019. Imagine that. You were at my center. My plans always consisted of you. I thought we would spend the rest of our lives together, you know? Then I met Kevin. At the time we met at an online game, he also had a gf like you. You and his gf both loved to spend money that wasn't yours. Kevin and I would always get frustrated at how you guys kept spending your partner's money as if it was yours. You had a Dungeons and Dragons event and you spent the money I was saving for your event - and that wasn't the first time. During the course of our 9 years, you kept spending what I've saved. Talking with Kevin made me realize how much you were taking advantage of me. Yes, you were sweet. You cooked for me and did chores.... but we can't stay that way forever right? What if someone got sick? What if we had a kid? How do we pay for a good education? To bring to the hospital? Kev broke up with his gf. And I broke up with you. And the one thing I hate the most? That was only when you started to change. Finally listening and understanding me. Why? Why do you only change every time after you're scared of losing me? Why do you only listen when I'm finally gone? I've been wanting to break up with you all these years. I cheated on you - thrice. On those three times, I gave you warning signs but you kept saying: "I'm busy. I'm playing. My head hurts. I'm sleepy. I'm tired.". You'd stay in front of the computer playing video games for HOURS. HOURS. Back then, you told me you'll stop quitting your job but then you'd quit again because you were tired. Then who supported us when you didn't want to work? Me, right? All those times i cheated, I told you I wanted to break up. But you kept insisting we could still do it. That you'll improve. But it's the same cycle over and over again for the past few years until finally, I met Kev. I saw myself in how he was giving whatever he can for his gf. In my goal of wanting to save him from being in the same situation as me (I said, if I can't save myself, at least I can save you), he was also trying to save me from you. Then now you tell me that you didn't like it that I cheated... And maybe that's why we'll never be together again. You keep doing the same things that made me cheat on you: Stay stuck on a computer almost 24/7, spending my money like it was yours, spending money without permission, deciding to quit work just because you were stressed and letting me be the one to work, not understanding the importance of saving or investing money for the future - heck you even spent the money we invested WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE. You should have let me break up with you years ago. I should have had a stronger willpower to break up. Kev broke up with his gf. And I broke up with you. Why did you take so long to change? Why did we need a break up for you to realize things? You're now everything I've ever wanted and more.... but at that time, it was too late. Now, I feel that I would have given you another chance. But things happened and it's now too late to repair things. And here's the hard part: I'm not sad we broke up. I want to be. I even want to feel guilty. But I'm not. All the times you thought I was wrong - but when I met Kevin, there was no wrong. Sometimes you meet people like you and you just want to move forward. It's so tempting to go back to something I was convenient with. You know - 9 years. We had our dailies, we already resolved so many things... and now I have to start from scratch with someone new. Why did you need a break up to change? Why didn't you change while we were still together? Why? We could have been together. We could have been so happy together. But I know I can't be with someone who changed just because he was going to lose me. I want to focus on Kevin 100% but when you finally took the dogs, our kids, away this morning....and I'm flying thousands of miles away from you... I now see that our story is about to end. I can't concentrate on anything. 9 years. 9 ****ing years. Gone. And you want us to cut-off. After 9 years. I've forgiven you for everything - it just hurts but I've forgiven you. But it hurts, you know? Why am I not yet over you? Despite everything you have done. I always feel like I did something wrong... that I'm the bad person for breaking up... and yes it's selfish. I mean, why don't I keep trying? Why? WELL. Why did you STOP TRYING? Why didn't you listen? You know how important it was for me to save - and yet you kept ****ing spending my money. And despite everything, it's still my fault for breaking up. I don't understand. Why. Why. Why. Why. It's both our faults. But why is it just me. Why. Why. Why. ------ Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 (edited) : Kev broke up with his gf. And I broke up with you. And the one thing I hate the most? I've been wanting to break up with you all these years. I cheated on you - thrice. All those times i cheated, I told you I wanted to break up. But you kept insisting we could still do it. That you'll improve. But it's the same cycle over and over again for the past few years until finally, I met Kev. I saw myself in how he was giving whatever he can for his gf. In my goal of wanting to save him from being in the same situation as me (I said, if I can't save myself, at least I can save you), he was also trying to save me from you. Then now you tell me that you didn't like it that I cheated... And maybe that's why we'll never be together again. You keep doing the same things that made me cheat on you: Stay stuck on a computer almost 24/7, spending my money like it was yours, spending money without permission, deciding to quit work just because you were stressed and letting me be the one to work, not understanding the importance of saving or investing money for the future - heck you even spent the money we invested WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE. You should have let me break up with you years ago. I should have had a stronger willpower to break up. Kev broke up with his gf. And I broke up with you. Why did you take so long to change? Why did we need a break up for you to realize things? You're now everything I've ever wanted and more.... but at that time, it was too late. Now, I feel that I would have given you another chance. But things happened and it's now too late to repair things. And here's the hard part: I'm not sad we broke up. I want to be. I even want to feel guilty. I can't concentrate on anything. 9 years. 9 ****ing years. Gone. And you want us to cut-off. After 9 years. I've forgiven you for everything - it just hurts but I've forgiven you. But it hurts, you know? Why am I not yet over you? Despite everything you have done. I always feel like I did something wrong... that I'm the bad person for breaking up... and yes it's selfish. I mean, why don't I keep trying? Why? WELL. Why did you STOP TRYING? Why didn't you listen? You know how important it was for me to save - and yet you kept ****ing spending my money. And despite everything, it's still my fault for breaking up. I don't understand. Why. Why. Why. Why. It's both our faults. But why is it just me. Why. Why. Why. ------ i can't figure it out and neither can you. so someone has to go to the store and get some boxes and move out. then you got to support both households and every dime you have will go to that and the kids. once you have your own front door that locks you can begin to see lots of things about both of these men. can your husband change and stay changed? can he keep a schedule and a job? long term? can he be an example to the kids that people don't steal other people's money, family or not, and spend it how they like? if you hide your money, change the location. do not put any more money in any joint accounts and get off any and all bank cards, debit and credit as well. is kev gonna be part of a blended family? does he realize your husband will always be around, in the children's lives? find out what kev's saving for and whether he's prudent, frugal or just cheap? after all, you don't want to leave a man that burns money for one that won't share. Edited October 9, 2018 by Miss Clavel Link to post Share on other sites
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