kscholze Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 My girlfriend went back to her ex. She was in love with me she fell hard in the beggining, said she never felt this way before. Said I made her heart flutter. They were broken up for a while. Did she realize he was better? Anyone been on this end of a second chance? Please tell your story Link to post Share on other sites
Author kscholze Posted September 8, 2005 Author Share Posted September 8, 2005 and is there a possiblity of a second chance for me ever? Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 and is there a possiblity of a second chance for me ever? An ex of mine did the same, she left me to go back to her ex. They had alot of time invested in each other and it was something she had to do. It didn't work out and she came back to me a few weeks later and we were together for 7 years after that, though it eventually fell apart because I had problems dealing with her walking away that first time (and some other factors, but that was the biggest). Link to post Share on other sites
Author kscholze Posted September 8, 2005 Author Share Posted September 8, 2005 She has been back with him for about a month now. She told me she is happy and that it wont work between us so I will not contact her anymore. And I feel I will have the same issues of knowing that she walked away I dont think it will ever work but I still love her Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 IMO it seems your now EXGF may have been rebounding when she met you. Often times when a relationship that had been important to someone ends and the feelings are unresolved for them, they seek out the same comfort so to speak of the same elements in the previous relationship. Meaning they get into the new relationship quickly as a way of taking the sting and lonliness of loosing the previous relationship away... but of course with a rebound relationship there is always the possibility of the person ending things if the other person from the last relationship is willing to work things out... OR the possibility of the person who is rebounding finally feeling better about where they are and no longer needing the rebound relationship. Hang in there Link to post Share on other sites
littlelaxer Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 i once dated a guy for about three months. he was just commin out of a relationship of a couple years. i guess u could say i was the rebound girl. well she ended up wantin him back. and he went. now its been two years since this has happened but now he wants me back. even after several months of them gettin back together he would tell me sometimes he regreted his decision. but i have to say i odnt feel the same anymore becuase 1- far to long a time for him to realize that he was an idiot. and 2- i had met someone else months after him and i broke up (even though this guy and i have broken up and this is why im on here now) i dont know what is going to happen with u and ur ex. but i really think that if u dont give it enough time and space to think about things u wont grow. so i wonder if it was a short period they were broken up for or if it was a long time? i never thought this guy i used to date would ever turn around and want me back but he did. i guess everything happens with time..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author kscholze Posted September 8, 2005 Author Share Posted September 8, 2005 They were broken up for about a year. I asked if she ending things with me to get back with him and she said no, but that he was just there. He never left her alone even when she was with me. Link to post Share on other sites
littlelaxer Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 i dont want to say that she left u for him...i mean that is always a possibilty. she probably really did care about you, why else would she spend time with u and such. like i said the only way it is going to work out for them is if they have worked through everything and have grown up and realized where they went wrong. now he could be the type where he doesnt want anyone else to have her and he doesnt want her to get feelings for anyone. and if thast the case this relationship round #2 will not go far. i really think even though it is tough u have to go ur own way she knows u care about her and she will ALWAYS remember that. thats what this guy i used to date always remembeer. and think of it as this she will always remember that with u things were good and she was happy until this guy started commin around. so just please be alone for awhile, get urself straight, and just be friendly with her but not friends becuase that will make it worse. let me know if i helped at all or if u want to write back about more. i hope i made sense:o Link to post Share on other sites
Author kscholze Posted September 8, 2005 Author Share Posted September 8, 2005 that helped, I am just confused. dont know what i would do at this point anyway if she did want me back. she is 23 and I am 29. She has a 3 year old and is very mature. And I wasn't always there for her, but when I realized what I wanted I was there for her. I think the problem wa that she was hurt because I didn't fall in love with her the same time she fell in love with me. I wish I knew why they broke up in the first place Link to post Share on other sites
sundrop Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 Peoples feeling progress at different levels, time frames and speeds. You can't get ticked off at someone because your feelings happen to evolve faster than the other persons, to me that is just crazy..... And as far as you wanting to know why they broke up, you are just causing yourself grief and over analizing things. You are going to drive yourself nuts before the night is over. If she needs you, she will call you. Dont' call her and push her. The worst thing is for you to call her and be her crutch again and fall back into a rebound relationship. If you want her back 100%, she is going to have to have time to get over this last guy, to be able to give you 100%. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kscholze Posted September 8, 2005 Author Share Posted September 8, 2005 she gave me 100% in the beggining, I didn't. Honestly i am not to broken up about it. We broke up 3 months ago and I got over the physical loss, and most of the emotional, but she always resurfaces. On a lighter note I am going out with some friends for a happy hour tonight, and a girl I like is going to be there. shes 22. Maybe I should look for someone my own age though huh... Link to post Share on other sites
sundrop Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 Have fun tonight. Enjoy yourself. Have a drink for me, I am about to go to class. Have fun and be safe. Link to post Share on other sites
jhurtinct Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 kscholze- Does she have a 3 yr old with this guy or someone else? I left my sons father after a 4 yr relationship and started seeing someone else (rebound) I thought I fell in love with this new guy I fell hard, I later broke his heart and went back with my ex we are still trying to make it work. My point is this the rebound guy I swore at the time wasn't (a rebound) but I fell so hard because he made me feel so good about myself and I really believed he cared about me. I just want you to know after 2 yrs later I still remember how he made me feel and how loved I felt and I will always care about him for that and I will never forget it. Me and my current bf who I went back to had some problems awhile back and I wanted to run at full speed back to the other guy but I didn't let myself I knew I would hurt him again. I don't know though how after 1 yr it could still be rebound thats why I asked about the child. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kscholze Posted September 8, 2005 Author Share Posted September 8, 2005 jhurtnc the child is with someone else. She has no interest in getting back with the father. I you love someone why wouldn't you be with them? Thats whaty I asked her and she said I was pressuring her. Do you think she will come back again to me? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 she said I was pressuring her. If you keep pressuring her you are ensuring that she will NEVER come back to you .. Pull back and leave her to her own thoughts. She is seeing someone else right now and you need to be able to pick yourself up and dust off the hurt and smile while moving on. Like I said.. Continue to pressure=never letting her miss you=never getting back together Link to post Share on other sites
jhurtinct Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 I think if something happens which probably will she will come back but do I think you should wait NO. Go out meet people have fun and move on if she does come back and timing is right with both of you then great if not then her lose. just be careful if she does, like I said 1 yr after a break up doesn't sound like a rebound thing to me. good luck and have fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kscholze Posted September 8, 2005 Author Share Posted September 8, 2005 She told me it was over and she was happy with him when I pushed her. I only pushed because she said she loved me, but was still with him. She told me she was done and it sounded for real (txt msg). Does she mean it? She has said it b4, and then called me a month later Link to post Share on other sites
Author kscholze Posted September 8, 2005 Author Share Posted September 8, 2005 art critic. do you think its to late? She said she was done and was happy with him I only pressured her on 2 occasions and then I let it go. I am moving on but I will always think about her and love her. Link to post Share on other sites
jhurtinct Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 odds are she'll probably do it again then but again don't expect it don't wait for it move on and be happy you deserve it. But I do agree you should just let her be you really don't want to push. Go to happy hour enjoy yourself meet some new people and just have fun, just don't jump into anything else either until your ready you don't want to rebound. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kscholze Posted September 8, 2005 Author Share Posted September 8, 2005 i didnt want to push, but she told me she loved me and missed me while she was at the bar with him,. I had to find out what she wanted. I shouldn't have, but I really think she is done. Thats what hurts. i wish it wasnt true, I pushed her right out of my life. -thanks for all of your words Link to post Share on other sites
jhurtinct Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 don't blame yourself she souldn't have told you those things to begin with nevermind went back to him she did it because she wanted to not because of you responding to her 2 times she pushed herself so NC from here on, and DON"T BLAME YOURSELF. Just be happy. -your welcome Link to post Share on other sites
fundamental Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 i didnt want to push, but she told me she loved me and missed me while she was at the bar with him,. I had to find out what she wanted. I shouldn't have, but I really think she is done. Thats what hurts. i wish it wasnt true, I pushed her right out of my life. -thanks for all of your words There will be no feeling guilty for yourself. I think you are hurt because you had no kind of control over the situation...it sucks. There is nothing you could of done to stop her from going back to her ex. To feel like you had some control over the situation, you believe you pushed her out of your life. She seems like the type of woman that needs fresh attention. Right now she is unsure of bf, so she will tell you that she loves you and misses you to keep you hooked. Give yourself some more time to heal and try to limit her contact with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kscholze Posted September 8, 2005 Author Share Posted September 8, 2005 soda popinski - i love that game. Was just talking about it yesterday. Ur right. I did want some control over the situation. I just wanted to know what it was she wanted. She is with him and because of her not me. I will never call her again. I did that oncve and she called a month later. Thats when she said she loved me still. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG Link to post Share on other sites
Author kscholze Posted September 9, 2005 Author Share Posted September 9, 2005 do you guys think he is her rebound? Link to post Share on other sites
fundamental Posted September 10, 2005 Share Posted September 10, 2005 do you guys think he is her rebound? does it really matter? Link to post Share on other sites
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