At what age do women become invisible?

[pepperbird]

Lucky for me, I've been looking younger all the time. I have scleroderma, and it's hit my face now. My skin is really tight now, not one single sign of a wrinkle even though I'm almost 50.

 

 

 

Hurts like hell, but I guess there is always a good side to most situations, if you look for it:laugh::laugh:

[No_Go]

At the age that they 'let go' and become a mommy/grandmommy figure..

 

Also at an age that the baggage becomes too much to handle for a new partner.

 

If a woman looks good and acts confident, nothing stops her from attracting partners later in life.

 

Senior housings are full of happy couples that has met at their 70s or later.

 

 

I’m recently in the last phase of my marriage. I was married over age 45 for just over 2 years, and I felt so lucky to have had a second chance at love only for it to all turn to sand. I’m wondering if women 50+ who find themselves single for any reason (any woman, any sexual orientation, any previous marriage history) have felt that they had to come to accept being single forever and creating a full robust golden years alone or if there is a hope for a last chance at love (would be my third). It seems once a woman hits 50 or older they aren’t seen as vital and / or interested in romance and are overlooked.

 

Thank you

[No_Go]

Well.. any woman who wants to be noticed can.. the ones I see turning heads just wear a tight tee shirt and no bra or too tight of shorts.. etc etc.. age doesn't matter..but you most likely won't see older women dress for that kind of attention though

 

Yeah because after certain age women just don't care to bother... I think it largely has to do with declining libido post-menopause.

[stillafool]

I don't think it's a woman's age that makes her invisible, it's her looks.

[elaine567]

Yeah because after certain age women just don't care to bother... I think it largely has to do with declining libido post-menopause.

 

 

I would agree, if a woman doesn't feel sexy she doesn't dress sexy.

Same with women who overadopt the "mother" role or women in bad relationships or women who are ill, etc. They disappear as dressing to impress or to draw attention to themselves is not uppermost in their mind.

It may be a conscious decision to withdraw or wanting to withdraw may just gradually seem to be the right thing to do...

[thefooloftheyear]

When they chop their long hair off and look like, to a varying degree, fire hydrants...

 

Some women manage to keep it together longer....They stay fit, maintain good lifestyle habits....Not much different for men, but probably a good deal harder for women..

 

TFY

[carhill]

No doubt genetics has some play but people vary widely in how the make lifestyle choices and personally care for themselves.

 

I use one sample because, first, she's still alive today at 93, and she once played what at the time was a very provocative character in film, Pussy Galore. Is it all genetics? IMO, no, it's also lifestyle and personal care. Like my mom was until becoming demented in her 80's, Honor is active, in her case including marital arts (I believe she's done judo for decades) and takes care of herself. In the linked picture, she's 89.

 

When a woman is as beautiful as that when young it's easy to take a big fall as one ages. It becomes very noticeable and people don't see the young person they fancied anymore so one can become invisible. Is that fair? Well, is it fair they got a ton of attention and favor when young due to their beauty? Life isn't fair. We all struggle to be noticed, one way or another and one time or another.

[JuneL]

Sorry I didn’t mean she has to limit herself to men 10-15 years older. But if she’s willing to date men in this range, then by definition, her range of options becomes wider.

 

"Too tight of shorts?" You mean short that are too tight?

 

It's a very limited viewpoint that only women wearing tight or revealing clothing get attention. An unsurprising thought here given some the audience but clearly you think the only way a woman can be perceived as attractive is to dress provocatively. It's not the case, generally speaking. Women are the objects of unwanted male attention daily in every sphere.

 

Personally, I walk 5 miles a day, wear modern, professional clothing at work and dress casually/outdoorsy out of work. My boyfriend and I hike, snowshoe, going kayaking and bicycling, and also enjoy the urban environment that we live in, enjoy live music, going to dinner, etc. This is what early 50s looks like to me. My partner is smart, educated, younger, lean and fit, handsome, and has a ton of attractive qualities and has an interesting life. I'm not having to "settle" as is suggested over and over in these types of threads that are disparaging toward women (including by women here).

 

I have generally found myself with younger men, so women of my age definitely have options other then being limited to men 10-15 years older as stated earlier in this thread. We have options, period. It's very individual, period.

[JuneL]

When they chop their long hair off and look like, to a varying degree, fire hydrants...

 

Some women manage to keep it together longer....They stay fit, maintain good lifestyle habits....Not much different for men, but probably a good deal harder for women..

 

TFY

 

I wonder if it takes a little more work once a woman has had kids.

[greymatter]

I was not in good shape before I had my child.

But after, I was motivated to be a healthy parent, and lost a lot of weight and started exercising daily. Have been fit and healthy for 15 years now since my son was born. It’s hard work but it’s definitely possible.

[4fin]

I got myself back together physically when I was 49 and lots of people thought I was in my 30s, but even women in their 30s are not having a big dating life. There were a few guys in their 30s talking to me but once they found out how old I was, they weren't interested. The odd thing I wasn't prepared for is the really older guys, like in their 60s, I was invisible to them. They were still watching the real young ones and actually looked annoyed if anyone not in their 20s talked to them. I wasn't interested in them anyway. I'm just a social person and will talk to people. But was startled. Geezers.

 

In my 30s, I still looked good, but I had nothing I would call serious in my 30s. Sex, yes, and lots of fun times and met lots of fun people, but guys in the same age range, where I live, were still looking for younger women. But where I live, there are more women than men to begin with, so it's a poor environment for women, really.

 

As a male I see this a lot and I really don't get it. I'm 49 as well but I see many women my age and older that are very attractive but as stated above men look for younger women. If I were single I think I would go up in age. The 20 somethings although beautiful as well haven't stood the test of time. If you are not attractive in your 20's the odds are slim you will be at 50 post motherhood. Show me an attractive woman 40 on up who has had children and you actually have something. The other problem with 20 somethings is I'm into simplicity. Why do I want to meet her parents who may be younger than me? Talk about awkward. Why do I want to hang out with her 20 something friends? I'm sure some could be interesting and hold a good conversation but for the most part it would be nothing but physical and short term which is not appealing.

 

I see so many older men hitting on much younger women that get absolutely nowhere. Even if they did get anywhere their life just got complicated. If they would look in their own age range or just 10 years younger they would stand a much better chance. I am sticking with my wife but were I single I'd go my age and up.

[brigit87]

When they chop their long hair off and look like, to a varying degree, fire hydrants...

 

Some women manage to keep it together longer....They stay fit, maintain good lifestyle habits....Not much different for men, but probably a good deal harder for women..

 

TFY

 

It's easier for women. I can put on makeup and dye my hair which makes me look younger and prettier. Add to that lots of clothing choices, high heels, tight jeans, yoga pants, sexy tops etc.

 

If I throw on a mini skirt and heels I get so much attention it's funny. I only wear that when I'm with my husband. He's not too crazy about the attention I get so I don't do it too much, just sometimes for an ego boost.

[alphamale]

If I throw on a mini skirt and heels I get so much attention it's funny. I only wear that when I'm with my husband. He's not too crazy about the attention I get so I don't do it too much, just sometimes for an ego boost.

 

it's funny how women can turn the attention on and off

[Malin889]

I don't think you're invisible unless you FEEL invisible. It's not about how you look but it's about how you feel about yourself.

[alphamale]

It's not about how you look but it's about how you feel about yourself.

 

actually it's both Malin889

[Woggle]

Some women are 80 and still have it and some 25 year olds are complete turnoffs. It all depends on the demeanor and energy a woman gives off. If she gives off a good energy people will respond to that.

[brigit87]

Some women are 80 and still have it and some 25 year olds are complete turnoffs. It all depends on the demeanor and energy a woman gives off. If she gives off a good energy people will respond to that.

 

That's true.

 

A lot of time it's the genetic lottery. If you have the genetics that our culture deems beautiful and you get compliments your whole life you tend to have more confidence in your looks.

 

Aging is hard on everyone. Women are still valued first for their beauty and then everything else so it's sad to watch your looks fade.

[stillafool]

I would agree, if a woman doesn't feel sexy she doesn't dress sexy.

Same with women who overadopt the "mother" role or women in bad relationships or women who are ill, etc. They disappear as dressing to impress or to draw attention to themselves is not uppermost in their mind.

It may be a conscious decision to withdraw or wanting to withdraw may just gradually seem to be the right thing to do...

 

I think this is true especially if the woman has young daughters. Some step back to make sure their young daughters have the spot light.

[elaine567]

Men can disappear too, it is not just a female thing.

Plenty "invisible" men around too.

[Shining One]

Men can disappear too, it is not just a female thing.

Plenty "invisible" men around too.

Was this ever in question? I'd wager that a significant number of complaints from men on this forum stem from them being invisible to women. I was invisible to women for the majority of my adult life.

[SmartDude]

I think this actually starts in the early 40's for women.

 

 

When I turned 40 the thought of dating some one my own age was just not an option. It wasn't like I decided, It just happened this way. In fact women around my own age started to actually annoy me with their attitudes and entitlements.

 

 

 

The thought of talking about the same tv shows, growing up with the same music..All those reasons that are supposed to make people in the same age range compatible. Well, that kind of compatibility was no longer interesting to me at all. A woman from the same generation seemed..boring.

 

 

 

Women in the early 40's are established, they know what they want in life. While this would all seem positive, Its not what men look for alot of the time when they hit 40. Women don't understand this basic fact. They only understand attraction from their own viewpoint. Women are attracted to success much of the time.

 

 

 

So often it becomes a choice for a man like me. A fresh young woman with no expectations, willing to do whatever in life, who you know will leave you at some point OR a "serious relationship" with an "age appropriate" woman. I have yet to find a woman in her 40's who just likes to hook up. They are looking to tie a guy down a lot of the time it seems. Young women don't want to be tied down in a relationship with an older guy. Its kind of a symbiotic relationship. There is a lot of the older-mentor type love happening too. Guys like to teach women stuff.

 

 

 

Oh yep and looks, they matter. But sometimes it gets ignored if the love is strong.

[alphamale]

Men can disappear too, it is not just a female thing.

Plenty "invisible" men around too.

 

I see invisible men

[Artdeco]

I think this actually starts in the early 40's for women.

 

 

When I turned 40 the thought of dating some one my own age was just not an option. It wasn't like I decided, It just happened this way. In fact women around my own age started to actually annoy me with their attitudes and entitlements.

 

 

 

The thought of talking about the same tv shows, growing up with the same music..All those reasons that are supposed to make people in the same age range compatible. Well, that kind of compatibility was no longer interesting to me at all. A woman from the same generation seemed..boring.

 

 

 

Women in the early 40's are established, they know what they want in life. While this would all seem positive, Its not what men look for alot of the time when they hit 40. Women don't understand this basic fact. They only understand attraction from their own viewpoint. Women are attracted to success much of the time.

 

 

 

So often it becomes a choice for a man like me. A fresh young woman with no expectations, willing to do whatever in life, who you know will leave you at some point OR a "serious relationship" with an "age appropriate" woman. I have yet to find a woman in her 40's who just likes to hook up. They are looking to tie a guy down a lot of the time it seems. Young women don't want to be tied down in a relationship with an older guy. Its kind of a symbiotic relationship. There is a lot of the older-mentor type love happening too. Guys like to teach women stuff.

 

 

 

Oh yep and looks, they matter. But sometimes it gets ignored if the love is strong.

 

Not true. I don’t want to be tied down, nor do I want to tie anybody else down. But I like to have conversations with people that teach me things and vice versa.

[BluEyeL]

I think this actually starts in the early 40's for women.

 

 

When I turned 40 the thought of dating some one my own age was just not an option. It wasn't like I decided, It just happened this way. In fact women around my own age started to actually annoy me with their attitudes and entitlements.

 

 

 

The thought of talking about the same tv shows, growing up with the same music..All those reasons that are supposed to make people in the same age range compatible. Well, that kind of compatibility was no longer interesting to me at all. A woman from the same generation seemed..boring.

 

 

 

Women in the early 40's are established, they know what they want in life. While this would all seem positive, Its not what men look for alot of the time when they hit 40. Women don't understand this basic fact. They only understand attraction from their own viewpoint. Women are attracted to success much of the time.

 

 

 

So often it becomes a choice for a man like me. A fresh young woman with no expectations, willing to do whatever in life, who you know will leave you at some point OR a "serious relationship" with an "age appropriate" woman. I have yet to find a woman in her 40's who just likes to hook up. They are looking to tie a guy down a lot of the time it seems. Young women don't want to be tied down in a relationship with an older guy. Its kind of a symbiotic relationship. There is a lot of the older-mentor type love happening too. Guys like to teach women stuff.

 

 

 

Oh yep and looks, they matter. But sometimes it gets ignored if the love is strong.

 

So do you have the money that will convince a young 20something listen to you when you "teach her things" ? And btw, I think you're talking about yourself, not "men".

 

As for the OP, I dated between ages of 41 and 42 and no, I did not have any issue whatsoever dating men my age. Despite being very undesirable with my Ph.D. in Engineering and them not being able to "teach me things":laugh: The oldest man I've ever dated was my husband, who is 7 years older than me but that was the maximum age.

 

I do know a lot of 50 somthings and older women who succesfully date and even marry. I don't think you have an experation date, unles syou think you do.

 

The problem I see with dating in the 50s and later though is that indeed, chances are that a lot of older men would be interested and they do come with health problems. I do think you'd be able to date men close to your age though. I wouldn't like to date someone 10 yo older when I'm in my 50s, you don't want to end up being a nurse right away. It's one thing taking care of your SO after you've been together for years, and another ball game to end up nursing your SO right away.

 

For that reason, I am not sure what I'd do about dating if I were to be single again over 50. I'd probably date, have an abundance mentality, not a scarcity mentality, ignore the pebbles and try to find the best man I could. Or maybe I'd just decide to enjoy life with famiy and friends. You never know until you are in it.

 

If you are one who wants to date, I would say really don't worry about it, be confident, assume men will like you and don't really go out with a defeated mentality, a scarcity mentality. For sure that wouldn't help.

Edited October 6, 2018 by BluEyeL

[Els]

I know quite a few women who met and married the man they love in their 40s, 50s, and even beyond. It probably is true that it's more difficult at that age than in your 30s and earlier, simply because most people of that age are already paired up. But it's certainly doable.

 

 

I once attended a wedding between a 60+yo bride and groom.