vla1120 Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 I am well-versed in dealing with a gas lighting, lying, narcissistic husband. Do you have any idea why he is going to check out of this marriage and try to do it behind your back when you are out of town? I would not be able to sit on that information. If I were you, I would take care of my financial interests, work on finding a new job, and move back to your house. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 I guess I’m really confused as to why you’re so certain that he plans to move out. Are you solely basing that on something someone said? I mean, your husband sounds like a jerk as far as his lying and all that but I think it can be a mistake to take something as fact that hasn’t been confirmed. Link to post Share on other sites
Tigey Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 My Husband planned for 6 months...selling everything in our joint names and never letting me know ….please ensure you prepare well. The depression that hit me drives me to suicide and it takes very ounce of strength I have for the sake of my kids not to give in. I lost everything job, money kids all at once. Simply because I trusted him Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 My Husband planned for 6 months...selling everything in our joint names and never letting me know ….please ensure you prepare well. The depression that hit me drives me to suicide and it takes very ounce of strength I have for the sake of my kids not to give in. I lost everything job, money kids all at once. Simply because I trusted him Aw. I’m so sorry. How can people do that to others? Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 I wish I had the answer to that as well. I guess I feel foolish and don’t want to admit defeat and another huge mistake made. I entered this marriage with rose coloured glasses and truly hoped it wasn’t what it appeared to be. This is my 2nd marriage, his first. I’ve known him since high school, at which time he wanted me bad and I had no interest. I guess I couldn’t accept the fact that someone who’d “wanted” me for so long, wasn’t actually the good guy. It was supposed to be the fairy tale, you know? I wonder if I’m not appreciative enough and if I expect too much. He works a lot, and his income reflects that. He runs 3 medical related clinics, as well as a horse business on the side. He is very rarely home and when he is, he does very little. It appears that he feels he pays for most things (all things, if you ask him) even though I put my whole paycheque in our joint account, therefore he doesn’t have to do anything around the home. He used to do yard work etc (as I said, we live on an acreage). Now he just hires someone to come one or two days a week to do that. On Mondays and Tuesday’s he gets home from work between 7 and 8. On Wednesday he is off work at 4 but tends to his horse business until 9 or 10 at night. On Thursday he is usually home by 6, but one of my children has an activity in town from 6-830 that night. On Friday he works until 3 or so and then back to riding his horses until 9 or 10. Saturday he is usually home and quite miserable. And sundays he rides in the morning, works in the afternoon, and then comes home around dinner time... has a drink, jumps in the hottub, watches tv or plays on his phone. I work Monday-Friday 830-430. We both commute. I try to go to the gym a few times a week but I know that by doing that, children aren’t getting fed and the house isn’t getting cleaned. I can honestly count on one hand how many times he’s loaded the dishwasher in the last 6 months ( there’s so many of us in the home that it’s usually loaded twice a day). I don’t think he’s ever cleaned a bathroom or mopped a floor or wiped down the kitchen. He sure likes to point out that we all “sit on our ass and make a mess” though. I can get him to bbq sometimes though in the summer. I have told him I’m not superwoman. I have no problem doing it all but not while I’m trying to juggle a full time job as well as get the kids everywhere they need to be. And that if I’m going to do it all on my own, I may as well just be on my own. We were doing some major renos to our home this summer. I took a week off work and worked from sun up to sun down. He had his helper here helping me. He STILL went riding the 3 times that week. And the renos still aren’t complete. Ugh. His horse business is more of a hobby. He shows reining horses and devotes 18+hrs a week to it. He has one of my boys showing as well, so he takes him all those times. I feel very frustrated that I can’t commit 4-6 hrs a week to going to the gym for myself (which I love) because by doing so, everything else in the home gets sacrificed. If I went back into town for a 7pm workout on Monday, after making dinner, I would come home and the dinner mess would still be there while he’s playing on his phone or in the hottub... as an example. hire a housekeeper, full time and learn to love riding. i'd be all over the barn where he's spending 800 hours a week. i'm sure you can compete with a horse. Link to post Share on other sites
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