Author planb1973 Posted October 11, 2018 Author Share Posted October 11, 2018 It's impossible to say what will happen here, but I think you need to consider this over so you can begin healing. She might resurface again one day, but you'd want that to be on her own volition without much nudging from you. I do agree and understand this. But I don't agree completely with NC. The healing process is different for everybody. In the end someone has to be the first to reach out. It can be as simple as an expression of forgiveness. So I did reach out. Told her I saw the commercial and hoped she was doing well. She responded right away thanking me for reaching out and wishing me safe travels on a trip I am taking today, surprised she remembered. She told me that she booked a trip also as she was bummed and needed a distraction. It was a pleasant text exchange ended with I love you and take care. I do feel better today. I know for now it is over, and I am glad I reached out to her. It was an exchange that brought a sense of forgiveness from both sides for me, which I needed. Link to post Share on other sites
ThreeRainbows Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 That was a ruff one today! When we first started dating she invited me to be in a commercial that her friend was shooting. One of the funnest things I have done. And today I happened to randomly see it... It was a commercial for a new type of kayak, the two of us playing in the water, I remember that day well. It made me smile right before it made me cry. I miss her. Part of me thinks I should reach out and tell her I saw the commercial and to just say hello, like the universe put that there for me to reach out. Most of me is still so hurt I don't want to feel rejection if it goes unanswered. f*** my emotions are just raw today. I would say, "Hey.. Guess what I just saw... (mention commercial).. reminded me of you. How are you doin btw?" Don't listen to the nay-sayers so much. That whole "don't chase" BS. It's true to a degree, but contacting is not chasing. Give as much as she gives, but it's ok to be the first to text. If she doesn't text back, let it go - she wasn't going to anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 I do agree and understand this. But I don't agree completely with NC. The healing process is different for everybody. In the end someone has to be the first to reach out. It can be as simple as an expression of forgiveness. So I did reach out. Told her I saw the commercial and hoped she was doing well. She responded right away thanking me for reaching out and wishing me safe travels on a trip I am taking today, surprised she remembered. She told me that she booked a trip also as she was bummed and needed a distraction. It was a pleasant text exchange ended with I love you and take care. I do feel better today. I know for now it is over, and I am glad I reached out to her. It was an exchange that brought a sense of forgiveness from both sides for me, which I needed. Don't be surprised if in a few days or couple weeks, you feel worse again. Whether you realize it or not, part of you feels good because you soothed the itch to communicate with her. You're, in a way, riding high right now. That will likely dissipate over the coming days and weeks as you resume no interaction. Just a heads up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 I do agree and understand this. But I don't agree completely with NC. The healing process is different for everybody. In the end someone has to be the first to reach out. It can be as simple as an expression of forgiveness. So I did reach out. Told her I saw the commercial and hoped she was doing well. She responded right away thanking me for reaching out and wishing me safe travels on a trip I am taking today, surprised she remembered. She told me that she booked a trip also as she was bummed and needed a distraction. It was a pleasant text exchange ended with I love you and take care. I do feel better today. I know for now it is over, and I am glad I reached out to her. It was an exchange that brought a sense of forgiveness from both sides for me, which I needed. Like Blanco said, don't be surprised if you feel worse in a few weeks or want to contact her again because you feel you need to resolve a new set of feelings. You probably think contacting her will help you resolve some of your feelings, but it will only confuse you more in the long run. Each time you talk to her, you delay getting over her. However, it's good to this conversation let you know it's over now. So that is something good that did come of it. I wouldn't recommend contacting her again at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 Don't be surprised if in a few days or couple weeks, you feel worse again. Whether you realize it or not, part of you feels good because you soothed the itch to communicate with her. You're, in a way, riding high right now. That will likely dissipate over the coming days and weeks as you resume no interaction. Just a heads up. Agree with this. Once the reality sets in that you're not together and this is permanent, it gets a lot harder. Link to post Share on other sites
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