Lawyer

[Arris]

Trying to finish this paper work to bring back to attorney and then sign contract.

My wife on hers I think way over valued items in the house.

I don't think I could come up with $5000 worth if I tried, depending I guess on my tools.

She was over 40k.

 

 

She's the one that moved out and purchased all new items, so I think she's definitely playing the system. I did leave out my tools and guns, she already stated she didn't want my stupid guns, but I know that doesn't mean anything. I don't care about them either, except maybe a couple.

Some of my tools were purchased pre marriage, the rest were all bought by me so I could do the work around the house and save money by not hiring anybody. She never touches my tools, plus I use them to go over and help relatives. Even still, my most expensive item is the table saw I paid $300 for a few years ago, so maybe I could see around $1500 in tool value, maybe.

That would put my total to almost $4k.

In fact, if she could go out and get 40k for our items, I'd let her in a heart beat because replacing it with all new might be cheaper.

I didn't include a lot of things I don't think we'd care about much, like the dishes and silverware. She has all new already.

Our bedroom set, she has a new set. Maybe I shouldn't figure these cross each other out?

 

 

Sorry, I am just really having a tough time and everything in the house was all bought with this family in mind. I kind of feel I have to let go of it and I feel a lot of pain with all the memories.

 

 

Whether it's my fault or her fault, whether there's an affair or the feelings of one waiting for her, all the hurt and mistakes, none of it means anything. We're still about to destroy our kids lives.

 

No matter how we set up custody, it's not going to compare to living as a family. Maybe that part is on me because I have so much to get through.

I lost my job, lost my wife, she could be having an affair, losing my kids for half the year, not sure if I'll have to sell this house and find a new one, not sure if I'll have to do the same with the car, I don't know anything about paying bills, will I be able to go to school? Get accepted into the program I want? Which career path do I want? Do I just find a job and skip school? During my schooling, will I have to work? How will school and work affect seeing my kids? By the time I'm done with school, my kids will probably be about 3 years older, 19, 17 and 13. How much will I miss in that time? It feels like I'll miss the last few years of my 2 oldest as being my 'kids'.

 

 

After factory work on second shift for 5 years and missing everything in the week during that time, I can't stomach losing anymore. That was part of my change, I always knew what mattered most, but I learned there's a difference in living like it matters most.

 

 

On one hand, I don't give a crap about any of this property, because it's the people that matter and how we live from here on out.

On the other, everything around here holds bits of memories that mean something to me. I know I have to let that go and live in the moment, but it feels like we're just throwing that life away. I also can see my problem is it forces me to realize that it's over.

 

 

I used to think the world of my wife, a truly good person, honest and faithful. I don't believe that anymore.

I felt I was responsible for that change because I was shutdown for 3 years. I was worried that I made her lose herself and made her vulnerable to be out there alone and become hurt because I could see that with this other job and guys.

Being in the factory, listening to stories and watching people, there are so many rotten people out there. If I told you the stories you wouldn't believe it, just sick. There's good people out there, but at our age, they are mostly already taken.

What are the chances the first guy she comes across is a good guy? He has a kid and could never make things work between he and the mother.

I heard he's such a good guy because of how he talks about family, and yet there he is. While he's talking, I'm throwing everything I am into living it.

She met him while she was vulnerable, and he gladly stepped in and took advantage of it. I know my wife isn't innocent in this, these are still all choices she had. I'm just explaining some of my guilt for feeling I made her vulnerable.

I'm still not ready to say she has done anything, but I'm pretty sure the second the divorce is over, they'll be in a relationship. Stupid of me not to think they already have something going on full fledged.

The thing is, I don't want to see karma hit. She is still the Mother to my 3 kids. If she makes bad decisions, or loses the good person she is, that affects my kids.

One thing I don't think I mentioned, is this second job also takes her away from the kids. She is always handling things throughout the day. That makes me upset just from the kids perspective.

 

 

That's my whole point in trying to talk with her, and find a better way to go through this process, even if it still means divorce. I'll always hope, but finding a better way through is not meant to manipulate things. I want to make sure we're all healthy on the other side of this, that includes me.

[PegNosePete]

Our bedroom set, she has a new set. Maybe I shouldn't figure these cross each other out?

Well, this is really a question for your lawyer. But in my non-professional opinion yes you absolutely should figure that they cancel each other out. The same goes for the dishes etc and everything else she has bought for her new place. If it's bought before the divorce is final, then it's marital property and should be mentioned in the disclosure.

 

In fact her stuff is probably worth a lot more than yours because they are all new, whereas yours are many years old. Remember that house contents are only worth their 2nd hand value, ie. what you'd get on ebay for them in their current condition; not what they cost to buy, or new-for-old replacement value. It sounds like your wife with her $40k has "mistakenly" (ha ha) put the value the items cost originally, in order to over-value what you've got, so that she can get a bigger share of the other marital assets. If she still contests the value after you correct her, then you should ask her to itemise and justify her $40k figure.

 

No matter how we set up custody, it's not going to compare to living as a family. Maybe that part is on me because I have so much to get through.

No, it's on her for banging her co-worker.