How, when, where and what... and what am I doing wrong?

[SevenCity]

It all really hinges on high interest and without it you are dead in the water.

High interest text all day, every day = fine

High interest never contact for a week = fine

High interest people are "interested" and therefore easy to deal with.

With a high interest person you don't really need Corey Wayne, you can hardly go wrong.

 

Low interest and it all falls to bits, no matter what the man does, that is the big problem for guys who find it hard to date. The women they are dealing with are in the low interest category, he doesn't have what most woman want or find attractive, so it is all an uphill struggle.

Of course he may be fishing in the wrong pool, so that needs addressed first.

 

High interest people find games OK as long as they are getting what they want, low interest people find games annoying and will not play them, or will play their own games, which may not be pleasant.

IMO, one cannot manoeuvre a low interest person into becoming highly interested, one can only possibly manoeuvre an "on the fence" person, and that is maybe just maybe.

 

On the first bolded statement, I have to disagree. Sure, you can easily get a woman with high interest. Keeping her is another matter. That’s one of the huge lessons in his book. Most men cling to the time she said “I love you so much I couldn’t live without you/would never leave you”. Then they get complacent and this once uber-high interest woman is now leaving you forever.

 

He teaches you what to look out for if her interest level is dropping. Interest level fluctuates - ask most men who’s wives filed for divorce...a lot of them were likely very high interest to get to the point of marriage. What usually happens is the interest level drops slowly over time and then the guy says “It was out of left field!” That’s exactly what happened to me.

 

On the second bolded point, this is another thing he covers in his book. MANY men waste time focusing on one women who they will never get. They think if they are a good enough friend or prove themselves a superior mate that the woman will come around. They will cling to the one story of how their distant cousin twice removed married the girl of his dreams after she rejected him for 10 years.

 

Can it happen? Sure. But you have to play the law of averages and focus your efforts on women who are interested in you.

 

If a woman rejects my advances, I basically have zero reason to ever speak with her again. A lot of guys will continue a false friendship in hopes she’ll come around one day.

[elaine567]

On the first bolded statement, I have to disagree. Sure, you can easily get a woman with high interest. Keeping her is another matter. That’s one of the huge lessons in his book. Most men cling to the time she said “I love you so much I couldn’t live without you/would never leave you”. Then they get complacent and this once uber-high interest woman is now leaving you forever.

...but the OP is not getting past that first level, my point being that you don't really need Corey Wayne to get a highly interested person interested in you.

I do agree keeping a person interested is a different matter all together

 

On the second bolded point, this is another thing he covers in his book. MANY men waste time focusing on one women who they will never get. They think if they are a good enough friend or prove themselves a superior mate that the woman will come around. They will cling to the one story of how their distant cousin twice removed married the girl of his dreams after she rejected him for 10 years.

 

Can it happen? Sure. But you have to play the law of averages and focus your efforts on women who are interested in you.

If a woman rejects my advances, I basically have zero reason to ever speak with her again. A lot of guys will continue a false friendship in hopes she’ll come around one day.

NO disagreement from me there. I have never been interested in any man that shows no interest in me, it is like a switch that turns off, I don't really understand hankering after people that show no or little interest, it is a complete waste of time.

[PRW]

This advice will work for women as well. Unfortunately, it only works on beta guys for which they eventually will lose attraction and can’t always explain why.

 

 

Yes, that is because the Betas act and respond to their environment the way that women do. That is probably one reason the feminized-male-dating-coaches-for-women gives the women the bad advice they do, because they are telling the women how to manipulate Betas. Since these coaches are probably that type themselves, it works when used on them.

 

 

 

But even if it works when the women use it on the Betas, it won't last because the women lose interest with them in the long run.

[PRW]

I think these “rules” are good for identifying and not investing too much into or wasting too much time on those who are not into you, men or women.

 

 

They are principles, not rules. If a guy has his act together he already lives that way naturally. So for him there are no rules,...it is just the way things "are". There are not the ton of rules that the detractors make it out to be,...it is just boundaries of behavor to try to fix the Betas bad behavor,...and just just remind the rest of the guys what they already know but may have lost touch with.

 

 

Anyway, CW has been massively successful and the guys who learn what he tries to teach them are massively successful. The results speak for themselves.

[SevenCity]

They are principles, not rules. If a guy has his act together he already lives that way naturally. So for him there are no rules,...it is just the way things "are". There are not the ton of rules that the detractors make it out to be,...it is just boundaries of behavor to try to fix the Betas bad behavor,...and just just remind the rest of the guys what they already know but may have lost touch with.

 

Anyway, CW has been massively successful and the guys who learn what he tries to teach them are massively successful. The results speak for themselves.

 

Agreed. The only bummer with his work is you find out pretty quickly how rare truly good women are.

[PRW]

Agreed. The only bummer with his work is you find out pretty quickly how rare truly good women are.

 

...and how rare it is to find a guy that has his act together. Everything is a mess.

 

But I am of the opinion that a lot, if not most of women's bad behavor is tied to their "bad" experiences with screwed up men and their bad behavor. Not all of course,...but a lot,...if not most. The remainder of it comes from their personal insecurities, and from 3rd Wave Feminism on the social/political front. However if the guys start getting their act together,...as we learned from CW,...that kind of defeats the 3rd Wave Feminism at least on an individual "person-to-person" level.

 

So there is a little hope.

[5x5]

On the first bolded statement, I have to disagree. Sure, you can easily get a woman with high interest. Keeping her is another matter. That’s one of the huge lessons in his book. Most men cling to the time she said “I love you so much I couldn’t live without you/would never leave you”. Then they get complacent and this once uber-high interest woman is now leaving you forever.

 

I also don't think Corey Wayne is needed.

 

I've never clung to "love you so much I couldn’t live without you/would never leave you".

 

That whole clingy/needy vibe isn't me.

 

I want who I am with, yet I don't need them. Just as I want to be with women, who want me yet don't need me.

 

In fact outside of "I love you" I can't recall ever hearing any nonsense about not being able to live without, or never leaving someone from any of the women I have been with.

 

If someone can't live without me, it is likely they have co-dependency issues and have questionable mental health. Plus statements about never leaving (offering a blank cheque), also reek of being overtly needy and are somewhat foolish as well.

 

Likewise if I can't live without someone, it is likely I have co-dependency issues and have questionable mental health.

 

As to keeping a woman, it's not that hard. Of all the women I have been with, only one of them dumped me.

 

As to the one who dumped me, we still had sex after she dumped me. Which didn't end well, since she got pregnant and we tried to make a go at being married as a consequence of that. Which was ended when I ended up dumping her.

 

As to the rest, I dumped them for various reasons, mostly though not always related to me no longer being interested.

 

The only woman I haven't dumped to date, is my 2nd wife. And so far, we've been together for 22+ years and still enjoy each other.

 

As to sex, I've only been in three long term sexual relationships with a smorgasbord of splendid vanilla and non-vanilla frequent sex being had in all. With all the rest being one night stands, casual hook ups and the like.

 

He teaches you what to look out for if her interest level is dropping. Interest level fluctuates - ask most men who’s wives filed for divorce...a lot of them were likely very high interest to get to the point of marriage. What usually happens is the interest level drops slowly over time and then the guy says “It was out of left field!” That’s exactly what happened to me.

 

When people say or write "It was out of left field!", and I hear or read more. I am never surprised, and usually wonder why they didn't see the bleedin' obvious which was heralded by a banner parade of red flags.

 

On the second bolded point, this is another thing he covers in his book. MANY men waste time focusing on one women who they will never get. They think if they are a good enough friend or prove themselves a superior mate that the woman will come around. They will cling to the one story of how their distant cousin twice removed married the girl of his dreams after she rejected him for 10 years.

 

I can't imagine why many men would waste their time doing that. It seems silly to me.

 

Can it happen? Sure. But you have to play the law of averages and focus your efforts on women who are interested in you.

 

I've never felt any effort or focus is required. When a woman asks me out or offers me sex, if I am available, interested and attracted to them I have sex with them and see where it goes after that. If not I turn them down, or let them go if I am not interested after being with them.

 

On the occasions I have asked them out or offered them sex, I've had sex with them if they were available, interested and attracted to me. If they're not interested it's not a big deal, next.

 

I can't imagine a long haul pursuit, in my experience one knows early on if they're attracted or not.

 

Which is why most of my sexual relationships have started with sex just after meeting, which was sometimes then followed by dating.

 

Or sex within in the first few dates, or no more dates. That said I have found it to be very obvious when they want you.

 

If a woman rejects my advances, I basically have zero reason to ever speak with her again. A lot of guys will continue a false friendship in hopes she’ll come around one day.

 

I have always let women go who I don't know or I have recently met, who have turned down my advances.

 

Yet I have remained friends with some women, that turned me down over 25 years ago. Of those women I knew them as friends before I asked them out or propositioned them. So on being turned down, there was no reason to dump them as friends.

 

I never hoped that things would change, when they weren't attracted to me like that. They can't help what they like, just as I can't so shrug and next.

 

I'm still good friends with one woman, who turned me down 26 years ago. Funnily enough between partners we would go out together often, and sometimes we even double dated together. Her with her man and me with my woman, which has also included the woman who is my current wife. Likewise to this day, I still sometimes catch up with her for an activity, lunch or dinner, with or without my wife.

 

There is nothing false in my friendships regardless of gender.

[PRW]

I also don't think Corey Wayne is needed.

CW isn't writing to you. Just because you don't think you need his advice doesn't mean that no one does.

 

He is writing to men who think, feel, believe,...and live,...the exact opposite of every one of your points. In fact he is trying to teach them to be,...more or less,...you,...at least on many of the points you listed.

[JuneL]

They are principles, not rules. If a guy has his act together he already lives that way naturally. So for him there are no rules,...it is just the way things "are". There are not the ton of rules that the detractors make it out to be,...it is just boundaries of behavor to try to fix the Betas bad behavor,...and just just remind the rest of the guys what they already know but may have lost touch with.

 

 

Anyway, CW has been massively successful and the guys who learn what he tries to teach them are massively successful. The results speak for themselves.

 

Good that you found great help from CW’s stuff.

 

I’ve only been attracted to men who are naturally alpha, and my best friend has picked a beta man. Not sure how it’s like to be a born-again alpha male

[SevenCity]

Good that you found great help from CW’s stuff.

 

I’ve only been attracted to men who are naturally alpha, and my best friend has picked a beta man. Not sure how it’s like to be a born-again alpha male

 

It may surprise you, but what you deem as “natural alpha”, is often learned.

 

Unless you’ve known a guy since birth, you don’t know if his behavior changed.

 

Many of the well known alphas (i.e.: Tomassi - writer of “The Natural Male”) were beta for a good portion of their lives. It’s referred to as “unplugging”.

 

Sure, some men are naturally born alpha, but for many it is a learned behavior.

 

This doesn’t make it any less real. Just like having a college degree doesn’t make you only have a high school diploma because at one point that’s all you had.

[JuneL]

The difference is that things come naturally for them; they never have to apply this or that rule intentionally.

 

It may surprise you, but what you deem as “natural alpha”, is often learned.

 

Unless you’ve known a guy since birth, you don’t know if his behavior changed.

 

Many of the well known alphas (i.e.: Tomassi - writer of “The Natural Male”) were beta for a good portion of their lives. It’s referred to as “unplugging”.

 

Sure, some men are naturally born alpha, but for many it is a learned behavior.

 

This doesn’t make it any less real. Just like having a college degree doesn’t make you only have a high school diploma because at one point that’s all you had.

[PRW]

Good that you found great help from CW’s stuff.

 

I’ve only been attracted to men who are naturally alpha, and my best friend has picked a beta man. Not sure how it’s like to be a born-again alpha male

 

It can be really hard,...your past programing keeps wanting to sneak back in there. It is not Alpha for me, it is Omega. It is not about chasing after the Alpha personality type. It is about the men embracing the natural masculinity he should be showing along with the leadership and confidence that is woven into that. It is the real masculinity, not the politically correct definition that the feminists are bashing, where men are worthless self-centered jerks and that gets wrongly defined as masculine. That is why if you look at what I directly tell guys when I reply to them I doubt you'll see me mention Alpha or Beta very much (I do a little). Instead, I try to direct them to a better approach or give them boundaries to rein in bad behavor.

 

SevenCity kinda just said it but the whole personality type thing is a mixture of genetics and learned behavor and the boundary between isn't clear. Personally I am an Omega, but had a lot of Beta learned behavor growing up that I had to reprogram.

 

To make it more murky, a guy can be a total alpha at work on the job, but be a helpless beta with woman. So context means a lot. Obviously here, we are concerned with the male/female relationships and focus on that context.

[hippychick3]

So, I assume those of you who are Corey Wayne enthusiasts and "experts" are now in highly satisfying long-term successful relationships?

[PRW]

So, I assume those of you who are Corey Wayne enthusiasts and "experts" are now in highly satisfying long-term successful relationships?

Strawman...

[Haydn]

So, I assume those of you who are Corey Wayne enthusiasts and "experts" are now in highly satisfying long-term successful relationships?

 

 

I thought Corey Wayne was a `Marvel` character.

[SevenCity]

The difference is that things come naturally for them; they never have to apply this or that rule intentionally.

 

Exactly. It’s for guys who it doesn’t come natural to.

 

In my adult life I have always been an alpha. The greatest lessons I took from Corey was the explanations of women’s behavior and the impact of the guys behavior on them.

 

It also helped my dating life a lot as I had been out of the game for 17 years.

[hippychick3]

I thought Corey Wayne was a `Marvel` character.

 

Oh, is he not?

[5x5]

Honestly.... I'm starting to want to give up altogether and just swear a life of celebacy and solitude for the remainder of my life, because no matter what I do, I just don't seem to get it, or get the results that I'm after. And I want to! Please help... I could really use a guiding hand right now...

 

Dating on the autism spectrum - The Hook Up - triple j

 

https://www.kennethrobersonphd.com/dating-tips-adults-aspergers/

[ProfessorOptics]

It's all interesting stuff... thing is, i get the gist of what Corey Wayne says: Don't be a pussy, give your woman your time and attention when she seeks it and you are able to, don't follow a mindset that "I'll die with her" kinda thing, and remain centered. Plus more.

 

Difficulty is, when i'm centered and calm, I don't have issues. I don't even think about it, it just comes naturally... and then the anxiety kicks in. And i'm like a different person altogether. I go from dom to sub.

 

I also believe honesty is always the best policy. If you feel crap, express it, if you feel happy share it. Don't let this stuff boil just because of some girl you like. If she really likes you, she'll want to understand you and be there for you. I understand what Corey Wayne says about it... it's okay to be vulnerable, it's not okay to be in that state constantly. Everyone will get tired of it. Luckily, I don't remain in that state. The time it takes to return to normal varies.

 

Thing is with books and Coaches like Corey Wayne, i always feel that they describe this perfect Alpha Male, that is never upset, never stressed and never insecure. But i don't know how to get into a place where i'm 100% secure within my self. I mean, i am, when i'm not in an anxious state of mind.

 

Like i said above. i believe in honesty all the way, no matter how sappy, or brutal or whatever. And being beta is saying stuff to a girl because it's what you think she wants to hear. Doing it for her sake.

I often share similar stuff. Tell her how special she is, or that stuff that is commonly considered beta. I don't tell her because it's what she wants to hear (though i won't lie and say a part of me doesn't hope). I tell her because I genuinely believe it, and I just cannot let it sit there unsaid. I always try to see the value in people, and to share with them what I see. But this causes conflict, because i don't know if this is what Corey Wayne warns against. I don't know if that is what's considered beta-male behaviour.

I've always seen beta-male behaviour as "people pleasing" and doing things because they think its what they want, even if the male isn't pleased about it. they get so caught up with their fantasy that fail to see how unhappy it makes them. But what if the guy is doing it because he genuinely enjoys it. Like doing your love interests plumbing. What happens if he genuinely enjoys plumbing, and sees it as an opportunity to do something he loves, whilst helping out someone he loves... I don't know if that makes sense lol...

Edited October 8, 2018 by ProfessorOptics

[dispatch3d]

I've read most of the guru's, probably like Corey Wayne the most of them, but he was also the newest/last guy I bothered to look up.

 

I eventually got to the point of deciding that I was overanalyzing something and took a step back from that kind of self help. Maybe for the best we'll see.

 

EDIT: Also PRW you keep mentioning alpha and beta's. Probably the biggest secret of being an "alpha" in a girls eyes is her not knowing you well haha. At least that's my opinion on it now.

[PRW]

EDIT: Also PRW you keep mentioning alpha and beta's. Probably the biggest secret of being an "alpha" in a girls eyes is her not knowing you well haha.

There's some truth to that. There is some merit in "fake till you make it".

 

A person can be alpha in one part of their life (like at work) and still be helpless in other areas (like dating/relationship). So things aren't always as simple as the books say.

 

For the record, I generally only mention Alpha, Beta, Omega, etc., when others insert it into the conversation. I personally prefer to just describe the characteristics as something to be achieved or avoided without mentioning those names. It is really more of a spectrum within a context, than hard boundaries between types. But until we all evolve into telepaths I'm stuck with using words

Edited October 11, 2018 by PRW