Holdin_mybreath Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Sorry in advance this is a long and complicated read, I’m in this terrible weird unspoke relationship with my best friend of three years. Recently for his 19th birthday I got him a gift that he refuses to take. It’s nothing flashy just two small things for his guitar. I don’t know if it’s him or his gf stopping him. Lately he’s been super weird. For the last three years we’ve been super close we started as co workers that could work together because I’d cause him to be distracted, to me him taking to prom, it even progressed to the point where I got another job but we found time to pack each other lunch and I’d spend every night he closed with him (just last summer). This summer things got more complicated due to time conflicts. I was able to sneak in on him on day he ran from behind the counter and gave me this long strong hug lifting me off the ground and started stuttering. It’s just weird since he recently mentioned us either moving into a one bedroom apartment together now or moving together to a different city out of college. But when I got the birthday gifts it just complicated things. I’m at the point I think I may need to walk away from our friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Why won’t he except my gift? Hi Holdin_mybreath, I suspect that he doesn't want to upset his girlfriend. I can't think of any other reason why he would not accept the gift. I'd probably hold off on the gift giving, since it seems to be an issue. It was very thoughtful of you, though. If you value your friendship with him, I would continue the friendship, but while maintaining boundaries which will work for you both. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 You are considering moving to a one bedroom apartment with a guy who has a girlfriend? Yeah, his girlfriend is not happy. And, rightfully so. Normally a gift between friends is not a big deal. But, there are no healthy boundaries here. If you are this close as friends, why don't you date each other? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah_Smiles Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Do you have romantic feelings towards him, or him towards you? It sounds like there are by one if not both of you off what you've typed, imo. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 The GF does not like how close you are. If you want to preserve your friendship with him, get closer to her. You have to be a friend to their relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Recently for his 19th birthday I got him a gift that he refuses to take. It’s nothing flashy just two small things for his guitar. ASK HIM. It isn't a friendship - or any kind of genuine relationship, actually - if the two of you cannot discuss things like this. If he can't or refuses to be honest and direct with you about his reaction to your gifts, or transparent about where he and his girlfriend are at this time, then, ditto... ...in that case, it's not a constructive friendship/relationship, so it has a greater potential to cause you more grief than any true happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 He probably doesn't feel it's right since he has a gf. And also, he may feel it obligates him to exchange gifts with you in the future. Not everyone likes to get that started. Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 Could we get the thread title corrected? Accept, not except. Link to post Share on other sites
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