John1991 Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Am i just being paranoid ir should i be worried . Me and my gf have been dating for just underder a year now. One day i noticed a guy send a message to my Mrs so i thought I'd check it out, turns out this guy was asking to meet up and kept sending dirty messages which to be fair the Mrs ignored. When i confronted her about it she said it was a old friend that they chat and always used dirty talk to wind each other up . Which i believed her I know i shouldn't be, but I've been checking her phone to see who she's messaging, she has been talking to two more guys one she used to sleep with before we got together and he is constantly asking when she's free and asking to wrestle which she ignores but doesn't say I'm in a relationship now you shouldn't be saying them type of things. The other guy seems to know about a certain toy so must of been something going on between them they're agreeing to meet up for coffee but She has only said on days I'm in work. Keep in mind On our first date she mentioned about going for coffee but ended up going to a quite dogging spot seeming that's what she thought it was only thing i wanted to meet her for. We're currently trying for a baby but now I'm worried if i want to or not. I don't know if I'm being paranoid about this all or if i should confront her again about it all or not. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 She sounds like I woman I use to date she had guy friends who she always go out for coffee with. I couldn't stop her from seeing these guys. I knew one was in love with her he was in his 70's gave her diamonds an etc. Play music on hs guitar for her etc. The other guy was in his 60's she was in her late 40's. I for one look younger than her she didn't age so well like she told me but that's not be rude I just stating the facts. She was always worried about looking older than she was. But in any case I had put up with the little get together's at PB place. To me I wasn't allowed to go. So what I did was to get my old woman friend she was older but she and I hang-out. This other woman go P-O about it. So I had stop seeing that other woman because she needed to understand the difference of dating and hanging out with guy friends in her case. What your GF or WF is doing isn't right she's hanging on to guys she dated or fornicated with. I know I am not one to judge I have such a woman myself that we chat on cell text and she's taking it the wrong way. She's still married and I say to her listen I am seeing someone and we two (I mean you and I are just best buddies friends) nothing else. One day I asked her to meet me I needed to buy a suit that was the time the GF wasn't here. Now mine you this woman did show up and at the end I had walked her to her car she drive, she had turned around to kiss me. I said nope stop right there. That' isn't going to happen. I do not want that. I just can't trust her in that department. This one your with she needs to stop talking to those guys who want more the just friendship She has to be the one to stop talking to them. When your not around what does she do. Put up some cameras around so you can see or IP video cam tied to your cell phone so you can keep on eye on her if your don't trust her. Not much you can do if she is still friends with these ex lovers or guy friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Guildford Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 I would be concerned about your girlfriend's behavior. All three of these guys certainly want to have sex with your girlfriend, and your girlfriend's response that they could meet for "coffee" on days that you were working is a big red flag. I would confront her and tell her that if she wants to have a serious relationship hopefully leading to having a child (what happened to marriage?) she had better block these guys and make it clear to them that their relationship with your girlfriend is now over. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Let me get this straight: she is meeting up with one of her ex lovers and makes sure it is only on days you are at work and therefor out of the picture? No, you are not being paranoid... at least you know what 'going out for a cup of coffee' means... meanwhile, back to reality, Do NOT have a baby with this woman. If she turns up pregnant, make sure to get a DNA test on the kid before you sign the birth certificate... Link to post Share on other sites
Author John1991 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Share Posted October 3, 2018 Oh yeah we want go get married too. Its only one guy that she said she's meeting up with which i dont know what they were maybe she was just sending pictures. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 You can tell if she's fooling around but we men know what I mean. But yes I agree with the prior post #4. If she's cheating on you got to do a DNA test. You said your trying to have a baby. I wish you the best. Shame she's seeing these guy friends for coffee. They can be trusted the your woman but I wouldn't trust the guy friends intentions. She needs to stop flirting... Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Oh yeah we want go get married too. Its only one guy that she said she's meeting up with which i dont know what they were maybe she was just sending pictures. OMG you got married and she's doing this.. No I am not married to no one. Now this is a different scenario. She needs to stop. You have to put your food down or catch her in the act. I mean you can spy on her with this guy is the only way your going to know what's she's up too. Take time off work to do this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author John1991 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Share Posted October 3, 2018 I know this is bad but i have put a app on her phone so i can see where she is . I've only read this message about her and this guy meeting for coffee last night. Im going to see if she tells me she's meeting this friend as they agreed to a Thursday. Link to post Share on other sites
Author John1991 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Share Posted October 3, 2018 Coolheadal we're not married lol not even engaged yet. We've discussed that we would like to in the future Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 I know this is bad but i have put a app on her phone so i can see where she is . I've only read this message about her and this guy meeting for coffee last night. Im going to see if she tells me she's meeting this friend as they agreed to a Thursday. Yes you need to be there don't go to work that day get off. You need to see if they're kissing on the lips, hugging, flirting an etc. What does she see in this guy she use to be with. Are they really just buddies or are they more. Still she doesn't hold value to her marriage. Is your marriage okay? 1. Does she work? 2. Does she seem bored? 3. Just now your noticing this? Wonder how long this has been going on with her and him? Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Forget all the forensics and eye spy shyt... Move on, buddy....If you marry this woman you have to have rocks in your head... TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author John1991 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Share Posted October 3, 2018 I have been through her phone haven't seen any pictures sent out or her asking for any pictures of them. I don't know everything about her sexual life before me and what i already do know i think if i knew at the start of our relationship i wouldn't of been dating her now. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Coolheadal we're not married lol not even engaged yet. We've discussed that we would like to in the future i thought you told the other member her you were married? Oh okay then that's why she's doing this and in her mind it's okay. Like a woman I know still is doing the same thing with me. I talk to her because we're friends. I feel close to her in a way like a best friend. She and I laugh at my jokes as well as I do with her. She's married but doesn't live with her husband. I don't trust her in any sort of relationship though. She has grizzy adams now but I know she's nto really into him just for the sex and company. Because she calls me up after their sex act when he falls asleep to me that's terrible. I told her but she in her mindset doesn't care. But don't get me wrong she's not a bad person inside I guess she's doing what she pleases. But I am not after her just friends. But you need to make sure you don't have a woman that wants to do whatever she wants too with someone else. She's with you. But not much control you have over that. You don't want to start controlling her. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 I have been through her phone haven't seen any pictures sent out or her asking for any pictures of them. I don't know everything about her sexual life before me and what i already do know i think if i knew at the start of our relationship i wouldn't of been dating her now. Well I still think you should see what's going on. If you have invested so much of your life with her and plan on having kids with her. Yes you should have found out about her past relationships. That is something you talk about during the dating act #10. I would check though, if you want you can kick her out and move on. Sounds to me you love her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author John1991 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Share Posted October 3, 2018 Coolheadal this is exactly my problem i don't want to be the type of boyfriend who is constantly asking where are you what are you doing. Like i said before the other two guys who ask to wrestle or meet up she doesn't reply to them for the rest of the day. But they're constantly messaging her the same thing. They seem to bd obsessed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author John1991 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Share Posted October 3, 2018 I know about her relationships but what i mean is whilst she was single she must of got around a lot before we got together. This isn't going to help your opinion on her but on the second date we slept together and she gave me chlamydia. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Coolheadal this is exactly my problem i don't want to be the type of boyfriend who is constantly asking where are you what are you doing. Like i said before the other two guys who ask to wrestle or meet up she doesn't reply to them for the rest of the day. But they're constantly messaging her the same thing. They seem to bd obsessed. Well if you don't do anything about it, it will just continue. If you want to be with her you really need to put your foot down. She'll make up excuses. If you walk she'll have them to go too instead of you. So she looses nothing except for you. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 I know about her relationships but what i mean is whilst she was single she must of got around a lot before we got together. This isn't going to help your opinion on her but on the second date we slept together and she gave me chlamydia. Oh she has STD CDC oh my and you have it now.. Om.. But you sticked by her still I see what she's doing. You need to get out and away from her. She's playing around still. I don't judge her but she's very active sexually. How did you know you had CDC, did she tell you she had it or sounds like you didn't know she had CDC. They're suppose to tell you if they have any STD it's the law will in USA it is. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Here's the thing-if you two are supposed to be in an exclusive, committed relationship (which seems to be the case) then this activity she is engaged in is inappropriate. All of the messages she is receiving indicate that she most likely has already cheated on you. I would be very surprised if she hasn't. Call me old school but I believe there is really no reason to keep in touch with people from your past when you are in an exclusive relationship, man or woman. There is just too much potential for an issue to develop. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 These guys are not just keeping in contact with a "friend", these guys are making a play for her and she is encouraging them. YOU don't make babies with women you have only known for a year and who give you chlamydia and have **** buddies in tow. Wake up! Run. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author John1991 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Share Posted October 3, 2018 I think my mrs may have the same kind of thought as your friend that you explained coplheadal. She has admitted that she's previously slept with some one 11 years younger than her and thinks that's normal . This is why I'm confused we will have been on 2 holidays this year and she's paid for them and is letting me pay her back each month. Surely you dont do that if your not committed to a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author John1991 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Share Posted October 3, 2018 She had the sti before our relationship. when we had sex on our second date she was waiting on her results. So that wasn't a good sign now that i think about it . she didn't even suggest using a condom on the night Link to post Share on other sites
Mardelis Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 I wonder what interesting tidbit the next update will include. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 She had the sti before our relationship. when we had sex on our second date she was waiting on her results. So that wasn't a good sign now that i think about it . she didn't even suggest using a condom on the night John1991, do you know how you recognize true love? It presents itself in a simple, respectful, considerate and organic manner. In other words, it's just not this hard, there isn't this amount of struggle involved. Marry her and prepare yourself for a lifetime of drama and uncertainty... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author John1991 Posted October 3, 2018 Author Share Posted October 3, 2018 I am in love with her just that this recent discovery is leaving me paranoid. She obviously was sleeping around havving lots of one night stands, thought she stopped ehen we got in a relationship she must still love the attention she gets . is it a case of once a slag always a slag ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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