What does this mean?

[Bryony999]

Broke up with my ex of 7 months 6 weeks ago as she said that she wants a baby in the next 6 months as her body clock is ticking ( I think it’s too soon for that ) and she also said that physically she is not able to give me what I want. I was upset but respect her decision and it was a very amicable break up. The only thing I asked for was time to get over it and asked her not to contact me and that I would reach out when I was over it and ready. She agreed and said she’d be waiting whether it was weeks, months or even years and I need to do what’s right for me. We told each other we loved one another and she left.

 

A few days ago, after 6 weeks of no contact, I receive a text message saying she wanted to say hi, had been thinking of me but wanted to give me time as I said. Then mentioned a holiday we were supposed to go on and said she hopes it goes ok, then talked about a few things she’s been doing and said again that she thinks of me often and hopes me and my family are well.

 

What do you reckon this means and why did she break her promise of letting me get over things and contact her?

[Orokotikki]

Why did you agree to contact her 'when you were over her', you broke up why do you ever need to contact her at all? Am I missing something? How is her wanting a baby relevant at all if you broke up now?

[alphamale]

sounds to me like she wants you to be the father of her babies

[Bryony999]

Well I agreed to contact as we had discussed being friends so I guess I want to keep that door open but it’s a good point.

 

The baby thing has significance as it’s the main reason we broke up. She wanted a baby, but just very quickly and I didn’t, that’s why I mention it.

[Orokotikki]

Spare yourself and just cut ties. Remaining as friends only serves to position you as plan B or C, in case she doesn't convince whoever her new Plan A is to become a babydaddy.

 

Cut contact and moving on gives you room to grow, spares you pain, lets you be fully present with whatever new lady you meet, and saves you the risk of an 'for old times sake' sort of hookup that may cost you 18 yrs of garnished wages to fulfill her baby fever.

[shydad]

What do you reckon this means and why did she break her promise of letting me get over things and contact her?

It means she has selected you as her mate and parenting partner. She doesn't want to give up on that idea.

[Bryony999]

Thanks all for your advice.

 

I’m actually a woman so I couldn’t give her a baby as such.

[d0nnivain]

She still wants the baby. I was going to say you were the fastest means to an end, except you aren't.

 

Being a mother is her priority. If you are not on board with that, leave her be.

[Orokotikki]

Thanks all for your advice.

 

I’m actually a woman so I couldn’t give her a baby as such.

 

LOL, well then... Good news no danger of getting roped into child support.

I'd amend my earlier statement then, maybe she just is pursuing street-vitro and hopes to get back with after.

[alphamale]

I’m actually a woman so I couldn’t give her a baby as such.

 

you could have pointed that out in your initial post

[preraph]

Well, isn't it funny that her clock is ticking but she is saying she will wait years if necessary. Really? Sounds like plain old pressure to get married and play house, which is pretty immature of her after only seven months.

 

I would say if you're done with her, just block her. But if you have sex with her again, you need to wear a condom because she is trying to get pregnant. I guess she thought if she waited, you'd change your mind, but the fact she is so immature as to want to rush having a child with someone shows she's really not the best choice to have a baby with. She's old enough to know better.

[alphamale]

But if you have sex with her again, you need to wear a condom because she is trying to get pregnant.

 

the OP is a girl

[Malin889]

"Physically she's not able to give you what you want"??? Huh? I'm confused as to what this means.

[Bryony999]

Sorry guys, to clear up some questions. I’m a woman, we were in a lesbian relationship, she wanted a baby via IVF very quickly and I wasn’t onboard as I thought it was too soon as we had only been dating 7 months and weren’t living together or anything. She started to distance herself although still acted like she was in love and happy. The reason she said she can’t give me what I want sexually as part of her distancing was on that front too.

[Sarah_Smiles]

Maybe she thought on it and realized she was wrong to pressure you into having a baby with her and that she cares about you and is invested in you too much to let the relationship with you go. A good face to face talk seems would be helpful to you both.

[Bryony999]

You could be right - thank you for your interpretation and suggestion to meet. I have responded in a similar tone to hers, quite a short message just saying thanks for the well wishes and nice to hear from her and hope she’s well. Haven’t heard back yet so maybe I should wait for a response, I have no idea really.. so easy to overthink this..

[preraph]

Sorry guys, to clear up some questions. I’m a woman, we were in a lesbian relationship, she wanted a baby via IVF very quickly and I wasn’t onboard as I thought it was too soon as we had only been dating 7 months and weren’t living together or anything. She started to distance herself although still acted like she was in love and happy. The reason she said she can’t give me what I want sexually as part of her distancing was on that front too.

 

Yes, that would have been good information to have, but i stick by my answer. It's too soon and she's immature for suggesting dragging you into it this soon. Which means she isn't mature enough to be doing it at all because she has bad commons sense. She can freezer her eggs and wait until she's mature and settled if she is truly getting long in the tooth, which it does not sound like.