How do I ask the guy I'm dating why he's still on a dating app after 4 months?

[lena_b_v]

I'm dating this really nice guy who's super cool and likes to hangout with me a lot. We get along really well, and I noticed that he's been wanting to hang out more and more. Well, I discovered yesterday that he's still using a dating app (POF), and it showed that he was online at the time I checked. My profile is hidden, but I was just curious to see if he was still on there. I hadn't checked in months, but something told me to check it out, and sure enough he was there. He's never serious...always joking about something. How do I ask someone who's never serious why he's still on there? I thought things were going well between us. We do a lot of stuff together. He brings me lunch at work sometimes, has taken me out for drinks when I've had a rough day, and comes and hangs out at least 3 times a week. What's the deal?

[Redhead14]

I'm dating this really nice guy who's super cool and likes to hangout with me a lot. We get along really well, and I noticed that he's been wanting to hang out more and more. Well, I discovered yesterday that he's still using a dating app (POF), and it showed that he was online at the time I checked. My profile is hidden, but I was just curious to see if he was still on there. I hadn't checked in months, but something told me to check it out, and sure enough he was there. He's never serious...always joking about something. How do I ask someone who's never serious why he's still on there? I thought things were going well between us. We do a lot of stuff together. He brings me lunch at work sometimes, has taken me out for drinks when I've had a rough day, and comes and hangs out at least 3 times a week. What's the deal?

 

 

You don't ask him anything. You make a statement for yourself: "You know, Xname. I've been enjoying the time we spent together and I took down my dating profile". Then, let him talk.

[alphamale]

if you guys aren't exclusive then he has the right to be on as many dating sites that he likes

[Mr. Lucky]

I'm dating this really nice guy who's super cool and likes to hangout with me a lot.

 

That could describe anything from platonic friends to star-crossed lovers.

 

Have you had the "exclusive/boyfriend/girlfriend" discussion with him? Either you're reading more into the relationship than he is or he's looking to cheat on you. Either way, I'd want a conversation to clear things up...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Logo]

You're not going to like this, but after 4 months, you should feel comfortable enough to ask him that question directly.

 

 

 

Tell him that you want to have a serious conversation with him. Sit him down and talk. If you get a response along the lines of yea, totally, I agree, and then he changes the subject, then stay serious and tell him that you don't feel like he's taking the relationship seriously.

 

 

Don't bring up the profile. Just talk about exclusivity. If you get a convincing answer then tell him that you've decided to delete your online account.

 

 

 

Take it from there. If he doesn't mention his account, then you'll have a different issue on your hands.

 

 

 

Again, talk things over. Be assertive, not aggressive, but calm and serious.

 

 

 

I'm a firm believer that couples should be able to trust each other and resolve issues among themselves.