sadiegirl86 Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 A family friend (who is 30 years plus my senior and I am in my early 30s) wanted some tutoring in Italian and I took on the job. He has quite a difficult family life and started confiding in me. (in Italian) I thought he saw me as a daughter and I still find nothing inappropriate about his behaviour. But a few weeks ago we were all hanging out on a trip (the family and he and his kids) and at one point he asked me if I wanted to go to town with him because he needed to pick something up so if I needed something I could get it, I did indeed need something for myself and I said yes. He kept insisting on buying me something and then invited me for dinner. I turned down both things and said I needed to go back and have dinner with my family. I never felt threatened or anything, just awkward. Because I thought he was in a committed marriage. A few days ago I found out he is getting a divorce. (nothing to do with me, his wife found someone else) Could it be that he likes me in a romantic way or is looking for someone to fill the void? It is such a weird notion, he could almost be my grandfather.... again, he has never done anything inappropriate but the dinner and the present thing....not sure. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 Yes, he's divorcing and you're handy. You need to distance yourself from him or else make it very clear you are not interested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted October 7, 2018 Share Posted October 7, 2018 A family friend ... I thought he saw me as a daughter ... and then invited me for dinner. ... What do you think? If he was family, or if he hadn't invited you to dinner, then I'd say the "seeing you as a daughter" idea could possibly apply. However, he's not family, and he invited you to dinner. I think he has a void to fill. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 7, 2018 Share Posted October 7, 2018 I don't know... He could be an old creep. Or he could be a lonely old guy who enjoys your company and wants to treat you to dinner just like he would his daughter. If he puts his hand on your leg, I will change my opinion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sadiegirl86 Posted October 7, 2018 Author Share Posted October 7, 2018 I think he is a lonely, creepy old guy who enjoys your company. Men don't often have that family feeling towards people who aren't family. We don't see ladies as our daughter, or sister, or none of that, we see you as ladies. If he is significantly older, he likely thinks you are absolutely gorgeous and with his divorce imminent, he would like to spend time with you. Up to you if you want to indulge him. Thank you all by your replies. I thought I have made it clear, also, why on Earth would I be interested in someone 30 years older than me....plus he was married when I met him. I was never flirty, never texted him outside of our tutorial situation (a few times he asked me for advice on his son and I helped a bit), I think he is a really nice man, but it's creeping me out that he would actually go there. He has never really done anything inappropriate, but all of those things put together, I feel I don't want to hang around him anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 7, 2018 Share Posted October 7, 2018 At ~60 and divorcing, you will be very much on his radar as a potential date/sexual partner. The fact you find it ridiculous is something many men of that generation seem to be oblivious of. Of course if he is a long term married man the last "date" he had was probably with someone of your age and some do seem to get stuck in a time wrap. They still find younger women attractive and forget they themselves have aged 30 years in the meantime... I would just say you are now too busy to teach him Italian, it will prevent any awkwardness and embarrassment caused by persistent "wooing"... Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 He probably enjoys your company and wants someone to talk to. I suspect, like most men, he wouldn't turn down an attractive younger woman, but it doesn't mean he expects anything in that way from you. If you definitely don't want to get involved with him in a romantic way, I would avoid such dinners. Apart from the above, if he is just divorcing, he will be in a mixed-up state and maybe rush madly into something he has no intention of developing into a relationship. I would not get involved with someone in the middle of divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
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