Worst pains in life

[burnt]

I have been thinking lately with all the news of the world filled with wars, corruption, violence, hate, and all that from all around the world and how much we talk about them, rather talk against them.

 

And yet, as I read through my own life and hundreds of posts pouring in on this site and everywhere else, I realize that to each of us, the worst pain was not caused by the "enemy" of the world. It was caused by the ones we loved the most, the ones we gave ourselves to the most, and then partly the pain was caused by ourselves.

 

The Hitlers, Osama-bin-ladins, the Trumps, the Putins,

the Nazis, the Isis, ... the list goes on--how we label all those people as the enemies.

 

And yet, the ones who have left us wounded for life and permanently changed and damaged for all future relationships were the closest to us--not our enemies.

 

The ones who hurt us the most did so, not with guns, bombs, or bullets, but with words, lies, and abandonment.

 

At least these villains in the news hurt who they perceive as their enemies; and their aggression is born out of hate, fear, and ignorance, and self defense.

But the ones closest to us that hurt us, do so with apathy.

 

It's not the news that makes us lose hope; it's our own memories of losses that keep piling up that make us feel so alone, helpless, and hopeless.

 

Just sad.

Just a thought I was pondering on lately.

[Timshel]

I'm sorry that you feel so sad Burnt. Sometimes it's best to turn the noise off and be still and quiet.

 

 

The things in our past may be tremendously painful...the thing about the past is it is the past. We can't move it or change it. It is done, as a matter of fact, the seconds it takes to type this out are over and will never change.

 

 

You can help yourself and others in this moment and the next and the next...you have now. All you have is right now.

 

 

There are books about living in the present, I have a special place for Eckhart Tolle because he helped me out of the long dark night, but there are many others.

 

 

I wish you well, thinking about the world at whole and compounded with a painful past can seem overwhelming.

 

Taking each moment as it comes through presence, meditation and patience can be very liberating. Also, giving in any way you are able, but most particularly, hands on giving. The physical exertion of helping others is by far I have found, the most rewarding.

 

I hardly ever get pissed while driving anymore, funny, seriously, that's a funny.

 

 

 

Best.

[Mr. Lucky]

And yet, the ones who have left us wounded for life and permanently changed and damaged for all future relationships were the closest to us--not our enemies.

 

I think you have to accept (or hope) that our capacity to love exceeds our ability to be hurt. I've had the same dual edged feeling, in the labor/delivery room, when I've held one of my newly-born kids. While I was struck by how deeply I loved this person I was touching for the first time, I was also staggered by how profoundly vulnerable that made me.

 

Relationships are the same way, it's a package deal. Closing yourself off to the pain means forfeiting any real emotional return. Lousy deal sometimes, we've all been there. I hope you see your way through this...

 

Mr. Lucky

[alphamale]

excellent post. those who are close to us and know our frailties can and do hurt us the most.

[Chilli]

Sadly , you are right about that.

Unfortunately the minute we start loving someone that also gives them the power to hurt us like nothing else can.

Wish l had a smart solution apart form just don't love.