Girlfriend never suggests to do anything.

[Gravypod]

My girlfriend never suggests to do things. Is this normal? She asks to see me, moans when she doesn't see me however NEVER suggests places to go. I have been coming up with the ideas for ages now and to be honest I'm fed up of the one always coming up with the ideas. Is it down to me all the time or should this be a two way thing? I offer to take her out to dinner, I always help her out giving lifts etc. I get a thankyou but not much else. I always see friends girlfriends buying them presents out of the blue or surprises etc. I'm not for one minute siggestung I should be getting this, but I have never had this from my girlfriend and when I hear of others it seems strange to me! She is also miserable most of the time, I pick her and sometimes it's like getting blood out of a stone for conversation...I guess I'm just wondering my if you guys are the ones alwacoming up with ideas to do stuff, asking to do things? Or do you think it should be more of a thing from both sides?

She also asks to go on holiday, but never suggests places to go! I have in the last sent her links to places I have looked and found but she never responds.

Feels like why should I bother sometimes

Thanks for your help.

[PRW]

It is not her job. It your job to do that. No it is not a two way thing.

She is also miserable most of the time, I pick her and sometimes it's like getting blood out of a stone for conversation...

She's probably exhausted from having to "be the guy" in the situation.

I have in the last sent her links to places I have looked and found but she never responds.

Probably too little too late.

Feels like why should I bother sometimes

She has probably been thinking that herself long before you were. You are probably about to get dumped. Often women hang on to a bad relationship until there is just simply no more "feelings" left,...their tank is dry. That is why when they finally dump the guy they can do it so easily without seeming to feel anything,...because they don't feel anything at that point, there is nothing left.

[Gravypod]

Ok. I am going to break up with her.

[somanymistakes]

You certainly didn't have any actual interest in the girl if a single random forum poster's comment is enough for you to decide to break up with her, so she's probably better off without you.

[PRW]

You certainly didn't have any actual interest in the girl if a single random forum poster's comment is enough for you to decide to break up with her, so she's probably better off without you.

Hmm,...yea, exactly. At that, I'm just telling him to get his act together, if he doesn't do that he will just repeat the same mistake with the next one.

[Mr. Lucky]

She is also miserable most of the time, I pick her and sometimes it's like getting blood out of a stone for conversation..

 

Why would you want to spend time with this person anyway?

 

Mr. Lucky

[clia]

No, it's not normal that she never suggests anything for you to do and always expects you to come up with everything. Most people have things in mind that they would like to do. To be honest, she sounds pretty boring to be around. How long have you been dating her?

[Malin889]

I’m a woman, and when I Ike someone, I always find fun stuff for us to do together. I see events/festivals etc all the time on FB or wherever that would be fun to go to, and if I had a man, I would bring him. So maybe she’s not interested anymore if she isn’t interesting in planning stuff for you. Has she ever?

[Gravypod]

Thanks. We have been dating three years. She has never really suggested places to go or do, asks to see me but doesn't come up with things to do. I don't mind suggesting things but after three years it does begin to feel one sided. then I ask her to do stuff, she says oh I should get this done really etc, then turns around and says no sorry we can do something I'll make an effort I can do this another day. Which is fine but makes me feel like she's just coming for the sake of it! Maybe I'm the one who needs to step it up, but after a while it starts to get a bit tedious ...she moans we haven't gone away this, yet she has never come up with places or ideas where to go....I have sent her links to places she never responds. I don't know what Iam mean to do!

[snowboy91]

If it's always left to you to decide on places to go, give her lifts, etc, and you find it draining, then it's clear you feel the relationship is now becoming one sided. In this day and age it's not one or the other's job to put in all the work in the relationship if you don't want it to be.

 

If you want a relationship where you both suggest dates and places to go, and you feel you're getting as much out of the relationship as you're giving, then you have to get it. First things first - you need to sit down and have a discussion with her about how you feel the relationship is going one sided. Think about your boundaries and what you expect from her (eg. you want her to sometimes suggest places to go, etc - keep in mind you can't put all the burden on her out of spite!). If nothing changes then you have to seriously consider whether this is the right relationship for you.

[LuckyM]

i was always the one to suggest what to do, where and make the arrangements. This is what a guy is or was supposed to do. Don't complain unless she is unhappy with your choices. My GFs said little and were content. Besides, then you decide how much money to spend, not her.

 

you could give her choices: do you want to do X or Y. What kind of food do you want?

[basil67]

I'm a woman and firmly in the camp of the woman stepping up and adding value to the relationship. I think you can do better than a woman who can't be bothered holding up her end of the deal.