Friends with benefits or more? Best friend

[Untouchable112]

Dear ladies and gentlemen. I have a very tricky question.

 

Many of us know what it is like to have friends with benefits or a best friend crush.

I have a friend that I valued a lot throughout years. We were good friends but never hung out outside a company. He always helped me in troubles with my exes and I could always talk to him. I had a big crush on him which faded away when I found out he had a gf. When they broke up I didn’t think he’d be interested and I was in a relationship.

We started taking again recently and my super toxic relationship ended - still live with my ex but trying to move him out of the apartment - long story. We hung out for the first time the two of us.

He always supported me, helped me out , offered a place to stay. That day was awesome. He took me places, showed me city, made dinner. I told him I had a crush on him before and he blushed so much and said he never thought he was the type I’d have a crush on. So it happened we had everything but sex itself (well, you know). He wanted to tell our common friend but I didn’t want that, not yet as he didn’t want a relationship. He did tell another common friend, only person who knows. He said ‘you always need that one friend you can share with’. Was the most amazing thing I had, the day. He did, however, say he didnt want a relationship with anyone - nothing to do with me. ‘I don’t want my problems become your problems and your problems become mine’. And that no sex ain’t a problem - I’m his friend at the first place. Next time we met was same. Amazing day, he planned everything out, took care of dinner. Was taking photos of me because ‘I was cute’ etc. Great time, music, going out, kissing in the rain. Again sex. He sometimes called me beautiful, or ‘love’. First time I asked ‘what’? He said smth else. Very shortly. But still mentioning that ‘he loved our type of relationship’ and most of the time call me the hottest girl and how I turn him on. He eventually said that always had a crush on me too but it was wrong (especially when he had a relationship). And we were gonna go to Paris, city of romance. Which was weird for me but for him it’s an adventure - to get to know the city and me better. He says that a relationship takes all the mystery away and he doesn’t want to have a relationship with anyone. In the morning breakfast. Then he said he lives sex but not only sex, should be the whole package. Which includes breakfast in the morning and cuddles. He loves cuddling with me, easily falls asleep.

So I’m confused because I start falling for him again. It’s not a regular hookup story and the sex is great, it blows my mind, and we both love sex in general, but.. my question is, could it be something more? Or he made it clear enough and I should skip it all and go back to being friends?

[preraph]

When you strip it down, you've got just another guy who doesn't want a relationship, doesn't want commitment, but is fine with just having sex and the affection you've giving him. He wants no obligation to you. I don't know what he meant about both of your problems, but it sounded to me like either he's not done with someone or he doesn't want to deal with your situation, which an eviction notice would solve.

 

I don't know that you getting that man out of your place would make any difference, but it's something you need to do anyway. If it's your place on your name, evict him. If he's not on the lease, not sure you even need a legal eviction. If it's his place, move out. If you're both on the lease, how much longer? This guy you have a crush on may even view you as a cheater and that might be why he doesn't want any obligations with you.