lilmoma1973 Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Hey all i have a question to ask.. i have a friend that h keeps cheating she confronts him and he tells her he will not do it again.. he has cheated on her many many times before ,this isn't the first time at all .. She has 4 kids and they have been married for 11 yrs.. She says this time if he does it again he will live in a box!! i can't believe that she would stay after all this crap he has put her through.. I can understand why someone would take someone back for cheating ..The first one shame on him but the second shame on me.. i just couldn't take the constant looking over things cells my shoulder wondering who they was sleeping with ..I told her she is a trip and she tells me she doesn't beliEve in divorce.. My ? is when would be the breaking point for you guys ?If it was me i would be gone long time ago ..She has proof she is a stay at home mom but has lots of money in the bank..I would take that money out of the bank .. take his tail to court and get him for adultry ..I think she thinks she can't make it ..I think she can .. What what you do in this situation..I think she needs to get a backbone because he will continue to do it as long as she lets him stay!! He can have his cake and eat it too! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 My breaking point is the first time. I have a zero tolerence rule when it comes to cheating.. No excuses are possible. I would be careful though about putting yourself in the middle of their marriage. Just support her if she talks about leaving him but if you go on a crusade to get her to get a backbone and leave him you will be doing it at the expense of your friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 I see this as both of their faults. His for cheating over and over again, and her for continualy staying after knowing all this. Maybe thats wrong of me to say its part her fault for staying,because people stay in unhealthy situations for lots of reasons, however, he probably keeps doing it because he figures her words are just blowing in the wind. He thinks if she was going to really leave she would have done it by now. I would imagine that if he has done this many times, then he will probably do it again, because he knows shes not leaving. Shes just making idle threats. People stay for different reasons, against their culture(not believing in divorce), the kids sake, afraid of what may happen, lack of self esteem, feelings of unworthyness and feels that they are only worthy of a cheater. I would think that if she does have proof, then yes she should be able to take him to court and get support for her kids. Why she wont? Only she knows for sure, then again, maybe she doesn't even know why she wont leave. My breaking point would be the first time. I don't play that game. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Until one is in that situation you can't know for sure what you'd do. It's easier said than done and many people give their cheating spouses another chance. Maybe not a second chance if it happens again, that's a rare case and one has to be extremely intent to work through the crap stuff to make it all worthwhile. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilmoma1973 Posted September 9, 2005 Author Share Posted September 9, 2005 Hey all thanks for the replies i have to agree with whichwayisup.. you never know what you will do in that situation.. my h cheated once and he better not do it again or that will be it... i just know one time will all i will take.. artic i don't tell her how i feel i try and support her and be there for her i just tell her my thoughts never telling her to take my advice or what to do .. i just think he will continue to do it as long as she allows him by staying maybe her leaving might make him see .. she just doesn't believe in divorce so i know she will stay... thanks again just wanted opinions:D Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinTX Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 Until one is in that situation you can't know for sure what you'd do. Heed the warning, because those are TRUE words! The 2nd time DH cheats I'm gone. Just have to figure that is his style in life and not for me Link to post Share on other sites
UltimateZen Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 Hey all i have a question to ask.. i have a friend that h keeps cheating she confronts him and he tells her he will not do it again.. he has cheated on her many many times before ,this isn't the first time at all .. She has 4 kids and they have been married for 11 yrs.. She says this time if he does it again he will live in a box!! i can't believe that she would stay after all this crap he has put her through.. I can understand why someone would take someone back for cheating ..The first one shame on him but the second shame on me.. i just couldn't take the constant looking over things cells my shoulder wondering who they was sleeping with ..I told her she is a trip and she tells me she doesn't beliEve in divorce.. My ? is when would be the breaking point for you guys ?If it was me i would be gone long time ago ..She has proof she is a stay at home mom but has lots of money in the bank..I would take that money out of the bank .. take his tail to court and get him for adultry ..I think she thinks she can't make it ..I think she can .. What what you do in this situation..I think she needs to get a backbone because he will continue to do it as long as she lets him stay!! He can have his cake and eat it too! That is the thing with security. She does not work, she has children, she has the security. Her fault for staying with him, but why give that up? Obviously she packed her pride and morals, and has decided that having h sleep around is ok as long as he continues to fit the bill. She will never leave him and he will continue to sleep around. She picked this way of life not you. Let her be. Link to post Share on other sites
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