LoveEK Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 My husband and I have been married now for 5 months, together almost 4 years this December. We have lived together for 2 years. We have had a pretty good relationship for the most part. We have our issues but what relationship doesn’t. Lately, I don’t know if this issue is just me being over paranoid or what but I have developed some trust issues. The past few months have been an emotional roller coaster all together. We suffered a miscarriage just under a month ago and then we had a family member fall ill. Anyway, I have never really had any trust issues. My husband seems to be more interested in spending hours of his day in the bathroom or outside smoking. I know it’s a typical thing when a man spends a long period of time in the bathroom but this is not just once a day, it is multiple times a day. Once when he gets home from work, once before bed time and on days off its three or four times a day. It’s not short breaks either, they range from 30 to 60 minutes and then to top that off add in a few 30 minute long smoke breaks outside, it’s becoming a bit much. A couple weeks ago I was scrolling through my Facebook when I came across a photo of a mutual friend of ours. I just met this girl at our wedding this past May and she was dating my husband’s good friend, they are not together anymore. Now, I am not normally the type of person to get jealous over stupid Facebook comments or likes but my husband next to never likes anything or comments very rarely on things. As I was scrolling I noticed a photo of the girl and my husband had liked it. A feeling of jealousy came over me instantly. Now I keep wondering if he has been talking with her, or is that why he’s in the bathroom or outside a lot. He was sitting in his truck for a long period of time and said he was talking to someone about a cell phone he was selling. It seemed like a really long time for someone to be talking to someone about a cell phone for sale. Now to add to all of this, I caught him in a lie last week when I came home to find the cable and internet shut off and a sticker on our door saying that the utility bills hadn’t been paid. I asked him if he paid the bill and he said that it was. I called the internet provider to have them tell me he didn’t. Now I don’t know what to believe. Am I over thinking this? Do I have a right to not trust him with money or other people that may be in his life? I don’t know why he doesn’t feel like he can’t be honest with me about little things. I am honest with him about everything. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 His actions sound suspect. Start digging -things aren't adding up. A voice activated recorder may help. Place it in his car. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 I know it’s a typical thing when a man spends a long period of time in the bathroom but this is not just once a day, it is multiple times a day. Once when he gets home from work, once before bed time and on days off its three or four times a day. It’s not short breaks either, they range from 30 to 60 minutes and then to top that off add in a few 30 minute long smoke breaks outside, it’s becoming a bit much. I don't know of any "typical" men that spend 30-60 minutes three or four times a day in the bathroom. Have you asking him directly what he's doing in there? Not much evidence of cheating but lots of proof he's avoiding you. Those are the issues I'd address first... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 He might not be cheating but there could be something wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveEK Posted October 11, 2018 Author Share Posted October 11, 2018 I don't know of any "typical" men that spend 30-60 minutes three or four times a day in the bathroom. Have you asking him directly what he's doing in there? Not much evidence of cheating but lots of proof he's avoiding you. Those are the issues I'd address first... Mr. Lucky He claims that he has been like that his whole life and I could ask his family and they would say the same. I don't know, I guess I'm different. Bathroom doesn't really seem like a comfortable place to sit for that long. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 He claims that he has been like that his whole life and I could ask his family and they would say the same. I don't know, I guess I'm different. Bathroom doesn't really seem like a comfortable place to sit for that long. Well, you've been with him for 4 years, is this a new development? iamalwaysme, let's do the math together. You get home from work at 5, leaves you 5-6 hours to spend together. Three or four 45-minute bathroom sessions plus two or three 30-minute smoke breaks = very little time left. Your husband is hiding out in plain sight. The two of you should discuss why, with the help of a counselor if necessary... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveEK Posted October 11, 2018 Author Share Posted October 11, 2018 Well, you've been with him for 4 years, is this a new development? iamalwaysme, let's do the math together. You get home from work at 5, leaves you 5-6 hours to spend together. Three or four 45-minute bathroom sessions plus two or three 30-minute smoke breaks = very little time left. Your husband is hiding out in plain sight. The two of you should discuss why, with the help of a counselor if necessary... Mr. Lucky It isn't new but it definitely wasn't as bad as it is now. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 Have you suggested marriage counseling? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 His actions sound suspect. Start digging -things aren't adding up. A voice activated recorder may help. Place it in his car. Only if you've already decided that your marriage is over and are just looking for ammunition for the divorce. Also, in some locations those are illegal. Otherwise, counseling pronto, lay out that these things are problems and need to be worked on. See if he can explain himself and improve his behavior and his trust in you. If he can't, then it's time to go for the harsher options. Link to post Share on other sites
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