FwB or just got used for the gym.

[Ninpou]

So here it goes... I met a girl in the gym and we started hanging out, spending time and she asked me to help her with a gym class certification in order to teach herself and risked my reputation to introduce her to my class.

 

We spent time and one thing led to another and after 2 months of casual hanging out, solid communication, I made my move but said she had unresolved issues with her ex who she had broken up in April. I kept pursuing and finally she asked me to drop by her place and have sex. We did it a couple of times and maintained the FwB status as long as we were single.

 

The one night she drops the bomb that her ex returned from travelling on a ship and that they got back together. So despite my anger I backed off and let her fail again (I believe ex are ex for some reason at the first place.) even if her ex decided to be in a different town.

 

So as the weeks went on they met up like 4 days in 1 month while she was hanging out with me almost daily and we had intimate sparks nothing had happened until a night we got back in the bedroom and it was the best night we ever had as sex partners. After 3 weeks she broke up with him and went to start a relationship with me but after 5 days she took it back moving back to FwB till July.

 

She then went on vacations and became relevantly indifferent and ignoring me. September dropped in and in 4 weeks I was getting excuses while she went out with other friends which made me nervous as I couldn't understand the hell was going on. I eventually found out that she got back with her ex again, who is again travelling till mid January.

 

From best friends with benefits and buddies we've become a constant moving argument and we fight every single day and drives me crazy as she states she wants me in her life as a friend, that we spend time in the gym (which I don't consider it actual time) and that I am over-exaggerating.

 

When I've spoken with her she insists we're good and nothing has changed though I feel left out of her routine, of our hanging out time, that she puts other friends in priority over us, and when I challenge her that if I remove the gym from the equation we won't have any connection she disagrees.

 

Any opinions apart from the fact that I've one side fighting to remain at least Friends.

[elaine567]

I doubt this has anything to do with the gym

 

"Never get involved with anybody who has unfinished business with their ex, you will get hurt" and surprise surprise you got burnt.

Also many people enter into FWB arrangements with people they do not see as relationship material, that way they don't get emotionally involved and can move on unscathed when it ends.

 

You are too involved here, this is a girl who is essentially unavailable to you, she likes the sex maybe but is continually hopping back and forth to her ex too.

Many people see an "opportunity" and try to catch desirable people who are recovering from a break up, but it is a bad strategy. It can take a long time to get over a bad break up and most are not thinking straight. Once they wake up, they often ditch the person who helped them "recover".

Here it seems she is still hung up on her ex, so you need to let her go as a "lost cause".

Find someone else.