Am I too clingy?

[Jules022806]

Ok so i have been friends with this girl for 7 years and we're BFF's or so i thought she keeps telling my others Friends that she wants to hang out with other people and that i am too clingy but i don't think i am.I 'm often sick and outside of school we never Hang out because she doesn't want to,which isn't that bad since i'm an introvert but the same day she posts a picture of her and another Friend on Instagram.I never say anything because i'm afraid of losing her.Her finical situation isn't that good so my Family has always helped her out with small things like buying her school books or paying for our class trips.Sometimes when i'm upset i think she is being ungrateful but i kinda understand her because i am very clingy,i'm a year older than her and she is very naive she doesn't realise it when people are being mean for example when her now ex-boyfriend was bullying another boy she said he was just playing around and she even keeps in touch with my ex-boyfriend who dumped me because i wasn't hot enough,anyway back to the main issue she never tells me that i'm too clingy but i still find it hurtful that she talks behind my back and lies straight to my face.

What should i do?Am i clingy?

Edited October 13, 2018 by Jules022806

[somuchmusic]

Ok so i have been friends with this girl for 7 years and we're BFF's or so i thought she keeps telling my others Friends that she wants to hang out with other people and that i am too clingy but i don't think i am.I 'm often sick and outside of school we never Hang out because she doesn't want to,which isn't that bad since i'm an introvert but the same day she posts a picture of her and another Friend on Instagram.I never say anything because i'm afraid of losing her.Her finical situation isn't that good so my Family has always helped her out with small things like buying her school books or paying for our class trips.Sometimes when i'm upset i think she is being ungrateful but i kinda understand her because i am very clingy,i'm a year older than her and she is very naive she doesn't realise it when people are being mean for example when her now ex-boyfriend was bullying another boy she said he was just playing around and she even keeps in touch with my ex-boyfriend who dumped me because i wasn't hot enough,anyway back to the main issue she never tells me that i'm too clingy but i still find it hurtful that she talks behind my back and lies straight to my face.

What should i do?Am i clingy?

 

What exactly do you do for her to think you're clingy? Also, she doesn't seem like a very good friend. But need more info.

[preraph]

You're jealous that she has other friends. That's not fair. Why would you care if she posts a photo of her and another friend on social media? Look, when I was in school, I had a friend or two I was only "bus friends" with. Apparently she considers you a school friend, but if it's getting back to you that you're being too clingy with her at school, maybe you ought to back off a little and give her some space. If she isn't inviting you to things outside of school, then she has friends she considers closer than you and you are one of her school friends, but you shouldn't monopolize her at school either. It's nice your family is helping her, but this does not obligate her to let you monopolize her or for her to not have any more friends or for her to invite you to everything after school.

 

I would suggest you do give her some space at school and then you use that time to make another friend or two at school. There is surely someone who doesn't seem to have enough friends who would be delighted to be friends with you and maybe is also an introvert and would enjoy some different after-school things with you. You should branch out because you've kind of got all your eggs in one basket, and you are not this friend's priority even though she is yours. I know it's hurtful, but it's how friendships sometimes work. You should always try to make more friends so you don't just end up alone. Good luck.

[Jules022806]

Well,I don't really do that much i ask her if we can hang out at Lunch and she usually says yes,i also sit together with her in class and talk to her during break but i also hang out with other friends and she does too the problem is we're drifting apart and i feel like i'm the only one emotionally attached to our friendship

[d0nnivain]

It doesn't matter so much if you are clingy or not. The issue for her is that you seem too clingy for her. It's a subjective standard, based on how she feels which may not be the reality of what is going on.

 

To ease the pressure on you both, you need to widen your circle. Develop other friends besides her.

 

Do continue to interact with her but on a lesser basis.

[preraph]

Well,I don't really do that much i ask her if we can hang out at Lunch and she usually says yes,i also sit together with her in class and talk to her during break but i also hang out with other friends and she does too the problem is we're drifting apart and i feel like i'm the only one emotionally attached to our friendship

 

At your ages, it is true people split off into different groups and leave some friends behind. My oldest friend when I was a child was my neighbor and her dad my doctor, but I only saw her occasionally once we moved to a different part of town. Things went okay and had some good fun until she got into junior high and then she became one of the snobby girls and had this really intolerable best friend who was so snobby. She was nice enough to include me with her a time or two, but I didn't feel comfortable with them at all after that. It happens. And no, we didn't reunite as adults, not at all. We just grew apart. You can't force it, though. Give her space or you'll just lose her sooner if that's what is going to happen.