ladydesigner Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 OP you keep saying how great of a woman she is. For a person to carry on a double life for YEARS is not a great person. Really think about that for a second. That is some major deception, lying, gaslighting, manipulating... I could go on and on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 17, 2018 Author Share Posted October 17, 2018 OP you keep saying how great of a woman she is. For a person to carry on a double life for YEARS is not a great person. Really think about that for a second. That is some major deception, lying, gaslighting, manipulating... I could go on and on. It’s comforts me to know I’m not the one who was deceived the most Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 17, 2018 Author Share Posted October 17, 2018 So I’ve been pushing my princess pretty hard the last few days,,, I told her I posted on Loveshack and everyone agrees with me that she’s not leaving,, the reply I got was that me and everyone of you don’t know what we’re talking about and only her knows what she’ll do! So folks she’s going to read everything here and don’t be shy to share your thoughts! Maybe she’ll understand why I don’t intend to wait much longer,,, Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 What she will see if she reads your posts is that you ARE going to keep waiting. I know what that looks like, so do a lot of others here. She's not leaving and you're going to keep waiting. Your words here are just like her words to you - sure, they sound good, but they are completely meaningless without action. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 What she will see if she reads your posts is that you ARE going to keep waiting. I know what that looks like, so do a lot of others here. She's not leaving and you're going to keep waiting. Your words here are just like her words to you - sure, they sound good, but they are completely meaningless without action. You have a good point that now she’ll know what I think but I don’t care,, she knows I’m an honest and open person. The first year of our affair we never had an argument or whatsoever,,, the next 6 months I started pushing and pulling over her lack of actions,,, the last 6 months is plain chaotic. Tonight she told me she would never end this affair,, it’s up to me to end it if that’s what I want(she claims that would be a mistake!) so I asked her if she wanted to meet for sex and she said yes!! Wtf ,,, Link to post Share on other sites
Maybelle Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 She is addicted you, as you are addicted to her. She just doesn't have the guts to pull the trigger and end her marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Maybelle Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 And I understand that. It is hard to end a marriage. It terrified me to think of doing that. What my family would think, how to divide everything, what his reaction would be. And I would think to myself if he would just decide on his own to leave and end this marriage everything would be so much easier and I won't be the bad guy in this. I'm not saying these are good thoughts because they weren't. But those were my thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Tonight she told me she would never end this affair,, it’s up to me to end it if that’s what I want(she claims that would be a mistake!) so I asked her if she wanted to meet for sex and she said yes!! Wtf ,,, What part of this surprises you? She is a user - we have all said it. At some point, you will see her for what she really is... She has lied, cheated, and used both you and her husband for her own purpose. And, she has pretty much told you that she wants it to continue, indefinitely. There is no apology, there is no remorse. There's not much to respect about that. Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 So I’ve been pushing my princess pretty hard the last few days,,, I told her I posted on Loveshack and everyone agrees with me that she’s not leaving,, the reply I got was that me and everyone of you don’t know what we’re talking about and only her knows what she’ll do! So folks she’s going to read everything here and don’t be shy to share your thoughts! Maybe she’ll understand why I don’t intend to wait much longer,,, So she'll read them? That's very flattering to a women that a man has spent this much time posting about her. LOL. I'd love it. Maybe you like being the side piece? Less pressure. Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Tonight she told me she would never end this affair,, it’s up to me to end it if that’s what I want(she claims that would be a mistake!) so I asked her if she wanted to meet for sex and she said yes!! Wtf ,,, She's telling the truth here. Why would she end it? She's having a good time and now she has a whole thread of people talking about her. Now she's Kim Kardashian. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 She is addicted you, as you are addicted to her. She just doesn't have the guts to pull the trigger and end her marriage. It’s very true she’s doesn’t have the guts to end her marriage,, she’s not the strong person I trusted with everything,, Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 What part of this surprises you? She is a user - we have all said it. At some point, you will see her for what she really is... She has lied, cheated, and used both you and her husband for her own purpose. And, she has pretty much told you that she wants it to continue, indefinitely. There is no apology, there is no remorse. There's not much to respect about that. I’m not going to let her use me anymore,, I’ve had enough of her games,,, but I still want her to be the one to end our affair,,, the question is how do I put her in a position where she either comes to me or hate me or I hate her? Advice please? Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 CPD1, you're just not getting it. You have NO control over what she does. You only have control over you. So if you are unwilling to "man-up" and leave, she'll quite happily continue with the way things are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 So she'll read them? That's very flattering to a women that a man has spent this much time posting about her. LOL. I'd love it. Maybe you like being the side piece? Less pressure. The time I spent here is absolutely nothing compared to the time I’ve invested in that woman,, the price I paid to make myself available to her,,the hell she put me through,,, I don’t owe her anything!! Not even respect! Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 I still want her to be the one to end our affair,,, the question is how do I put her in a position where she either comes to me or hate me or I hate her? I have none. You are responsible for your own life. If you don't like it, change it. If you insist on staying and wasting your life, like a puppet on a string, that is your choice. You have no right to complain if you refuse to do anything to change the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 CPD1, you're just not getting it. You have NO control over what she does. You only have control over you. So if you are unwilling to "man-up" and leave, she'll quite happily continue with the way things are. You are right Finding my way in a sense,, but the reality is im still in love with her,, the only thing she doesn’t realize is I’m in total control of the situation and I can turn her world upside down in an instant,,,she’ll hate me for it but I won’t care by that time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 I’m just too much of a nice person,, I need to man up!! Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 You're in denial. You are posting all this tough talk but not doing anything about it. As I said before, your words here are as empty as her words to you - neither of you are taking any action to support the words. I am still very much in love with the man I was having an affair with. That doesn't mean I'm going to hang on any more, or be available when it's convenient for him, and be understanding about everything he's dealing with, or allow him any access to my life. I want to move on and be happy so my actions support that goal. That's why I'm being so rough on you. I get it, but seriously - nut up and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 You're in denial. You are posting all this tough talk but not doing anything about it. As I said before, your words here are as empty as her words to you - neither of you are taking any action to support the words. I am still very much in love with the man I was having an affair with. That doesn't mean I'm going to hang on any more, or be available when it's convenient for him, and be understanding about everything he's dealing with, or allow him any access to my life. I want to move on and be happy so my actions support that goal. That's why I'm being so rough on you. I get it, but seriously - nut up and move on. Me and her can have an awesome life IF she wants to do things right and she knows it,,, she can bring me something with her knowledge that very few women could,,, to me she’s someone I can’t find elsewhere,, the only thing holding her back is her marriage and that can be destroyed by a simple phone call! Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Sheesh. Then make that call. But realize you only want to do that because somewhere inside you is the knowledge that's the ONLY power you have over her. And also be willing to live with whatever consequences come. Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 You are right Finding my way in a sense,, but the reality is im still in love with her,, the only thing she doesn’t realize is I’m in total control of the situation and I can turn her world upside down in an instant,,,she’ll hate me for it but I won’t care by that time. Yes, you have all the control whether you are in this relationship or not. I know you just want her to leave her marriage, but you are showing that you are ok if she does not. You want her to understand you are so fed up that you will break it off with you. And you want that fear of losing you to make her leave her husband. But you have shown for 2 years you won't ever do it. It's just empty threats. I loved my husband with all I had. I put 20 years of my life into him, into us, into my family. I am a SAHM. I haven't worked since I was 19. So it wasn't just love that made me scared. But I did it. I left because I knew that regardless if all the behavior stopped, I could never feel truly happy again with him. I would never be able to fully trust him. The relationship was tainted. She is hurting you. She is putting you through hell. She will keep doing it until you do something about it. Maybe she will come running single and free. But then when you get to that point, you will ask yourself, I went through hell, and came out, do I want to go backwards? That is where I am currently. The pain of walking away was just as much pain as discovering the affair. But now i'm on the other side, No way will I go back. And I get it. It took 2 years post discovery for me to do something about it. So I get it. But you HAVE to.... for yourself. Don't waste more life making someone a priority who doesn't do the same for you. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 OK but destroying her marriage and getting her by default is kinda weak not strong. Strength here is telling her it is over, you can't do this any longer and let the cards fall as they may. If she truly loves you she will not let you go, so she will leave her husband FOR you and not because her husband chucks her out and she has no other option... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 Something I haven’t mentioned here yet,,, 5 years ago me and her got romantically involved,, I fell for her but she dumped me. I was hurt ,, I couldn’t face her and didn’t talk to her for almost 2 years because even though she dumped me I still loved her. She came back and again got in my life,,, I’m a sucker for her!! However it goes this time I want to make sure there’s no possibility of this happening again,, I rather she hates me than be knocking at my door when she finally realises what she missed out on,,, cause she’ll be back!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 Sheesh. Then make that call. But realize you only want to do that because somewhere inside you is the knowledge that's the ONLY power you have over her. And also be willing to live with whatever consequences come. Other than facing the poor husband there’s no consequences,,my ex knows about the affair, my kids do, my mom does, and my closest friends do. In the end if the husband doesn’t realize it’s his wife and not me that betrayed him it’s not my problem,,,, in reality he should be happy to know what kind of wife he has!! Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 I’m not going to let her use me anymore,, I’ve had enough of her games,,, but I still want her to be the one to end our affair,,, the question is how do I put her in a position where she either comes to me or hate me or I hate her? Advice please? Start dating other women. Maybe she will sH*t or get off the pot then. If not you will already be making moves to turn your life in another direction. Take control of your life that's all you really have control over anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
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