BaileyB Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Something I haven’t mentioned here yet,,, 5 years ago me and her got romantically involved,, I fell for her but she dumped me. I was hurt ,, I couldn’t face her and didn’t talk to her for almost 2 years because even though she dumped me I still loved her. She came back and again got in my life,,, I’m a sucker for her!! However it goes this time I want to make sure there’s no possibility of this happening again,, I rather she hates me than be knocking at my door when she finally realises what she missed out on,,, cause she’ll be back!! Destroying her marriage and her life may bring finality to this relationship, but it shows you are a weak man, incapable of making your own decisions and directing your own life. Not saying that she doesn’t deserve to have her betrayal revealed to her husband, I’m just saying - if you do it because you are too weak to end the relationship or because you are seeking vengeance, those are poor reasons to make such a decision. It’s rather cowardly and not particularly respectable. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 The consequences would be knowing you made such a desperate, weak and vindictive move to at best win someone by default. That's NOT love - that's obsession. You want to take something away from her that she clearly wants because YOU are hurting. And don't even pretend that it being best for the husband to know has ANYTHING to do with possibly telling him. It's clear you're going to hang on to the bitter end. You only use our responses to you to bolster your fantasy of being a tough guy in a true love story that's fated to be. You're painting a picture of a twisted obsession instead. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 ... she can bring me something with her knowledge that very few women could,,, to me she’s someone I can’t find elsewhere... ^^^ This She is out of your league and the only way you managed to get her is by being her OM. That is probably the main reason why she ain't leaving her marriage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lylalou Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 We all think that we are soulmates, I’ve know my MM for 25yrs had a fling in 2000 but I ended it because he lied to me then, I thought we were both single but I think he was in fact seeing someone, so I stopped met another guy and had a lovely life until he had an affair and left me, it took me 2 years to get over that relationship when MM started coming round persuing me relentlessly, what I’m trying to say is that I thought we were meant to be, true love wins, right? I’ve been in this affair for 6years, 6 wasted years, I’d hate for someone else to waste time waiting for their MM or MW’s promises to leave and live happily ever after, its soul destroying but ultimately you’re the only one who can do this. Link to post Share on other sites
TheRainbow Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 She is cake eating. She has you on the side and her husband at home. Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 the only thing she doesn’t realize is I’m in total control of the situation and I can turn her world upside down in an instant,,,she’ll hate me for it but I won’t care by that time. That sounds like a threat. What could you do to turn her world upside down? Tell on her? That's childish. Learn your lesson: Don't date married women. Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 ^^^ This She is out of your league and the only way you managed to get her is by being her OM. That is probably the main reason why she ain't leaving her marriage. Yep. And if he does decide to "tell on her" her husband might forgive her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 Destroying her marriage and her life may bring finality to this relationship, but it shows you are a weak man, incapable of making your own decisions and directing your own life. Not saying that she doesn’t deserve to have her betrayal revealed to her husband, I’m just saying - if you do it because you are too weak to end the relationship or because you are seeking vengeance, those are poor reasons to make such a decision. It’s rather cowardly and not particularly respectable. I have no intentions of destroying her marriage and it’s got nothing to do with vengeance,,, if she wants to stay married all she has to do is say it,, it’s simply to put an end to this for good because I’m sick and tired of being a secret! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 ^^^ This She is out of your league and the only way you managed to get her is by being her OM. That is probably the main reason why she ain't leaving her marriage. She fits right in my league! Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 She fits right in my league! Maybe but do you actually fit in hers, that is more to the point here, no? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 Maybe but do you actually fit in hers, that is more to the point here, no? Maybe you’re right,,, maybe I don’t fit in her league,, obviously something isn’t right or we’d be together by now,,, I have to accept the facts and that she’s not coming. I really hate to let her go,,,,today has been a bad day ,, maybe tomorrow will be better,,,, Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 I have no intentions of destroying her marriage and it’s got nothing to do with vengeance,,, if she wants to stay married all she has to do is say it,, it’s simply to put an end to this for good because I’m sick and tired of being a secret! the only thing holding her back is her marriage and that can be destroyed by a simple phone call! That sounds like a threat to me. It sounds like a disgruntled lover, who is considering revealing the affair to cause harm to his affair partner because she chose to stay with her husband. If her husband was smart, he would see you for what you are - a desperate, angry, and unhappy man who wants what he can't have and is not to be trusted or given any attention. If you don't want to be a secret, don't date a married woman. You have the power to change this. Make a different decision. Keep your dignity and your pride. Just walk away... Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Maybe you’re right,,, maybe I don’t fit in her league,, obviously something isn’t right or we’d be together by now,,, I have to accept the facts and that she’s not coming. I really hate to let her go,,,,today has been a bad day ,, maybe tomorrow will be better,,,, Look sorry I am not trying to bash you here, maybe her "league" is actually not worth being in. She is a married woman cheating long term on her husband, how could you ever really trust her? Link to post Share on other sites
Maybelle Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 I feel bad for OP. He is really in love with this woman. I am really in love with the ex MM but I swore I wouldn't chase a man. Sometimes pride and dignity is all you have. OP, I think you need to draw a line in the sand and fight as hard for yourself as you have for her. I know it's hard. But you can do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 19, 2018 Author Share Posted October 19, 2018 I feel bad for OP. He is really in love with this woman. I am really in love with the ex MM but I swore I wouldn't chase a man. Sometimes pride and dignity is all you have. OP, I think you need to draw a line in the sand and fight as hard for yourself as you have for her. I know it's hard. But you can do it. Thanks Maybelle,, you are absolutely right,, OP loves her so much,,, I had pride but it’s shattered now,, tonight I failed again and reached out to her,,, Link to post Share on other sites
Maybelle Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 I understand. I really do. I would have done anything for my MM. I really feel for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CPD1 Posted October 19, 2018 Author Share Posted October 19, 2018 Well folks,,, CPD1,,, has left! Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 Well folks,,, CPD1,,, has left! Good luck to you CP, you're probably a decent person who got into a bad situation. Your best bet is to distant yourself from this woman. Move to another state. Restructure and reorganize your life. Different places, different, women, different stuff to do. Change can be fun. Once you're on that path you might not even think about looking back. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 I hope you find happiness in your life. This experience must be very difficult. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
SSE Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 How did you end it? You did the right thing. And although were complete strangers, for what it's worth, you're not alone in this. I know how difficult it is to say goodbye to someone you truly care about. But enough is enough. No more pain. No more pain while they are enjoying life with their primary partner and family although complaining about it. I guess it's not such a hard life when they stay, huh??? 2 years is a long time to know what you want: your primary partner or AP... It's enough. No more. No more lies. No more sweet, lying words... No more bull****. Enough playing with your feelings. Please stick to your decision, other wise you will lose your credibility. This situation has already taken enough of your time and energy. No more. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 How did you end it? I don't know that he has ended it... Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 Your ow is a cake eater. She's got the best of both worlds. All you got was played. Her words don't match her actions. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 I have a feeling CPD1 has maybe left Loveshack not his MW... Link to post Share on other sites
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