Am I losing a friend?

[ProfessorOptics]

So this girl I'm friends with, is starting to be a bit strange towards me. I've never been good with signals, it just blows over my head.

 

I talk to her about other girls, asking for advice on things, and just generally, having her there as a friend during a tough time i'm currently going through. I try to be there for her, too, though she never asks for anything.

 

Anyway, how is she acting strange? She get's upset when I tell her something she did that annoyed me. She changes the topic, or pretends not to notice when I talk about other girls. Often moving on from the conversation all together. When she voice notes her responses, there is hesitancy or uncertainty in her voice.

 

She isn't indifferent towards me. In fact, the complete opposite. She told me she wanted to work with me to get a better routine out of her day, for the both of us. She wanted to start this morning, but family got in the way, and she just wasn't able to. I told her, before i knew all that, that it annoyed me that she approached me with this, yet isn't willing to participate. I've always believed in direct honesty, no matter how brutal it may be, and she even told me it's what she likes about me the most. That I'm not afraid to speak my mind when something is up, or bothering me. However "beta male" it may seem.

 

Past couple of days, she's been getting in touch with me first, and even calling which she's never done. I'm not a big phone person, and live conversations that aren't scripted to some extent cause me to freeze due to intense anxiety.

I even have plans to move to the UK next year. She's also making plans, and asked me if she can go with me, so she knows someone who knows the area.

 

Yet, her changing topics when i talk about other girls I'm interested in, or turning to her when I get rejected, causes her to become uncertain, and she often changes the subject. Or outright ignores the topic, asking something else. I guess that's what it means to change topics...

 

Am I losing a friend here?

[Miss Clavel]

not sure you were ever friends. she wants more.

 

if you are not attracted to her, you need to tell her and for the love of god ease up on the brutally honesty b.s.

 

why do you have to do that? none of the rest of us do.

 

telling the truth, your truth is one thing. (personally, your truth may not be the real truth anyway) and then there's stripping people down to less then their knickers telling them things the rest of us would spare them. and many people have spared you too. get with the program.

 

which is, she wants to go move away with you or go away with you?? can't tell which.

 

and you should let her as long as you gently explain that it is "not her, it's you". you are not attracted to her and you never will be.

 

if she says it doesn't matter that she just wants to be friends, she' probably lying, at this point. but she might be able to get over it if you never send any mixed signals.

 

tell her she can come to UK and see how it goes. tell her you hope she can visit the friend she knows there because you have other plans and will not be able to spend the entire time with her.

 

then the ball's in her court.

 

she will let go of you or let go of the idea of you.

 

either way you can't discuss other women with her. at least for awhile.

 

good luck, enjoy UK, i went to london for two weeks years ago and had a blast. i would have stayed but it's very very hard to get a permit to work there.

[preraph]

Either she's bored of hearing you talk about other women, or she might want more than a friendship. You could ask her.