Seemed like attraction at first sight. What happened?

[Sugarc]

So long story short: I met a guy at a project we worked on together for four weeks. For me it felt like love or at least attraction at first sight. Like when you walk into a room and see that person and your body just gets like BOOM, there he is. I never experienced something like that before. I just knew something was going to happen between us first time I saw him and so it did.

 

After a few days he asked for my social media. Eventually he started to text everyday, eventually we started to drive to work together everyday. Everyone around us noticed, everyone was talking about us. Although nothing had happen yet. He didn’t mind it seemed, rather seemed to like it that people thought he was with me

 

I asked him to hang out on the weekend one time and of course he said Yes. So basically I asked for the first date. On the date he even said next time we watch the movie together we talked about. And so we did after two weeks or something (he went on vacation in between) Even on vacation he continued to send me Snapchats and tell me gn almost every night. On our first date I found out he just broke up with his ex like two weeks ago, they were a thing for like 4 months or something and she was a crazy jealous kind. He didn’t wanted to do anything to do wih her anymore.

 

We had our movie date at my place and made out heavily and kissed for like twenty minutes. But he seemed to be very respectful and didn’t tryed to take it further, so I didn’t tryed either although I had wanted to. I just enjoyed his company then and we slept a little until he left next morning. He texted me when he got home and asked if I slept well and stuff very cute. Then I kinda got doubtful about his intentions which I don’t quite know if it came because of fears I have or because of my intitution, my gut just thought he wasn’t that invested. So I didn’t asked him out anymore.

 

A week went by and we where still in Snap contact daily. Then after a week went by I asked him if he wants to hang out the following week, he had a busy shedule and told me everything he has/wants to do and said „let‘s see when I have time“ I said okay. Then I did something which I don’t know was good or bad but I asked if he was interested in getting to know me further he asked what I meant. I said because he is just out of a relationship if he is open to continue getting to know each other. Then he told me if he is honest he doesn’t want another relationship right now. (that is a line I heard from my „ex“ over and over so it kinda triggered something in me and I felt rejected) he asked me how I see this and I told him then that isn’t for me, I am not looking for a hook up. I needed to get to know him further, but if he already says that at the beginning there is no point.

 

The next day I regretted it and felt I was harsh, I said sorry and didn’t wanted to rush things and react so fast. He said everything is fine. He continued sending me stuff, but all the cute things stopped, the flirting and the cute good night messages. Now he either talked sexually only or just normal. One time he asked me how work was going or saw I wasn’t at work and asked about it, send me what he was watching on tv and stuff. This went two weeks like this and then one day he just stopped and from that day I stopped aswell. And now our contact has gone.

 

I saw on social media he was tagging a girl on a picture with a sexual inuendo, but he deleted his comment after she answered as if he doesn’t want to see that he tagged her on it? Dunno if he is dating her or just messing around and wanting to enjoy his single life. Our contact is gone now for little more than a month and I still think of him and how confident I felt in his presence and how his touches gave me electric feelings.

 

It‘s like I lost someone I never even got the chance to really experience and it is bugging me. Sometimes I dream about this guy and it is annoying. Just needed to write my thoughts down! Anyone experienced something like that, did I rushed it and ****ed up?

Edited October 15, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraphs and clarify title and move to BBU

[PRW]

I think you a two approached it like teenagers instead of adults. Anyway, I'll make some comments on some parts of it that I see and let you be the judge from that point.

 

For me it felt like love or at least attraction at first sight. Like when you walk into a room and see that person and your body just gets like BOOM, there he is. I never experienced something like that before.

 

It is just attraction. If you are honest with yourself you will admit that you have felt it before.

 

After a few days he asked for my social media. Eventually he started to text everyday, eventually we started to drive to work together everyday.

This is where he screwed up. He just "toyed around" when he should have took the lead. He should have just made a date, a real date. Instead he hid behind his phone with texting. Car pooling is fine if you are two women friends just sharing the ride. It is also fine for a guy you are seeing if he has already made his intentions clear by making a "real" date first.

 

I asked him to hang out on the weekend one time and of course he said Yes. So basically I asked for the first date.

That looks really bad on him. Again he fails to do his job,...you had to do it for him.

 

On our first date I found out he just broke up with his ex like two weeks ago, they were a thing for like 4 months or something and she was a crazy jealous kind. He didn’t wanted to do anything to do with her anymore.

Or so he says. It is also likely he got "Friend Zoned" by the girl for the kind of behavor I just mentioned.

 

Then I kinda got doubtful about his intentions which I don’t quite know if it came because of fears I have or because of my intitution, my gut just thought he wasn’t that invested. So I didn’t asked him out anymore

I suspect it is because he just doesn't know what he is doing. He seems to want to be the woman in the relationship and let you take the lead and make everything happen. You backing off and waiting for him to initiate activity is the correct way to find that out. But we will see below that he also has his eyes on another.

 

I asked him if he wants to hang out the following week, he had a busy shedule and told me everything he has/wants to do and said „let‘s see when I have time“ I said okay.

Again, you had to initiate, instead of him.

 

Then I did something which I don’t know was good or bad but I asked if he was interested in getting to know me further

Nothing wrong with you asking that but it came a little soon.

 

Then he told me if he is honest he doesn’t want another relationship right now.

Well that is BS. No offense to the women, but he is using the BS excuse that women always use on guys when they have lost interest.

 

I saw on social media he was tagging a girl on a picture with a sexual inuendo, but he deleted his comment after she answered as if he doesn’t want to see that he tagged her on it? Dunno if he is dating her or just messing around and wanting to enjoy his single life.

He is just messing around. Yea, he may have interest in that other chick but he doesn't know what he is doing with her either. He made a comment to her on SM and then deleted it because he doesn't have the guts to "own it". He probably has not asked her out either and is just poking at her on SM hoping she will ask him out like you did. The previous Ex was likely a repeat of the same thing as you and the accusations of her being "jealous" was likely her reactions to his gutless "poking" around with other chicks hoping they would ask him out because he can never get himself to ask them out.

 

It‘s like I lost someone I never even got the chance to really experience and it is bugging me.

I don't think you did much wrong other than not paying attention to the signs from him. Taking the initiative wasn't too bad, but you should not have the done it second time and should have waited to see if he had the guts to make a date on his own. He approaches dating in a effeminate way. He flirts from a distance like the SM comment to the other girl, and waits around to be asked out by women. And then he "flitters around" from girl to girl like he has no idea what he wants and has no "purpose".