My break up did not make sense

[Qwasymoto]

I will try to condense this as much as I can.

 

We met online in August. We hit it off immediately and decided to meet for coffee. That date went really well, so I went for it and asked her out again. She agreed. I was elated.

 

Fast forward to the second date — a picnic in the park. It was hot and sweaty, but still went very well. We even held hands.

 

Third date — we end up at her place, watch movies, play video games, got our for BBQ. She tells me she wants to take me out for my birthday. Things were on a good track. We both liked the pace.

 

Fourth date — we meet downtown and walk around, holding hands and talking. She asks to be my girlfriend. Of course I’m ecstatic - this girl is everything I’ve been looking for. A beautiful smile, down to earth, career-minded. Everythig’s Going well.

 

Our next date involved cuddles and movies. She even kisses the top of my head and offers to nap with me for a bit. She says she wants to kiss me. (It was my first ever kiss. I wasn’t very good but she doesn’t care.)

 

Found out she’s not been to the state museum, so I offer to take her. We go and have a good time. We had a nice talk about how we feel about each other, or how we are starting to feel. I’m getting butterflies just thinking about it. She even asks if she can change her profile picture to us, kind of a big step for her (and me), but I was excited. I agreed.

 

She never does. Perhaps the start of the downward spiral.

 

Monday rolls around. We have another nice conversation. I call her to talk. I elaborate a bit on our previous conversation, explaining I’m really at a point where I can start to trust her.

 

Radio silent. Starts to get distant. We only talk a couple of times that week. Our two months is approaching. I ask if I can get her a small gift (it was a keychain). She says it’s probably not a good idea.

 

She asks me to meet up over the weekend...I feel like the grim reaper has me locked in his sights. She calls it off, saying she liked the friendship element of our relationship more (but wouldn’t explain what that was), and that I deserve someone who likes me as much as I like them. Says she’s been back and forth for a minute about where we were going, but never once let on. Says if it would have continued, it wouldn’t have been for much longer.

 

I don’t understand what I did to deserve this. It has to be me. But I don’t know what it was. This hurts.

 

 

��

 

 

Edit: For context, this was a same-sex relationship. I’m not out to my family quite yet, but we had this discussion immediately.

Edited October 14, 2018 by Qwasymoto

[Marc878]

it didn't last long so you didn't lose much.

 

This stuff happens for whatever reason.

 

Move on. Cut off all contact.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

 

Our next date involved cuddles and movies. She even kisses the top of my head and offers to nap with me for a bit. She says she wants to kiss me. (It was my first ever kiss. I wasn’t very good but she doesn’t care.)

 

 

I think she cared.

 

This sounds like a lack of physical chemistry to me.

[Qwasymoto]

We kissed more after. I meant this one specifically. There is also a personal reason that would be way too heavy to get into - but I know this wasn’t a factor.

[ExpatInItaly]

It's not that you did anything to deserve this, OP. Break-ups are generally not to get back at the dumpee for something.

 

Something changed for her. Maybe she has met someone else, or maybe an ex came back. You can't assume it's because you have done something wrong, so to speak. It's disappointing, but it happens, and there's sometimes not much one can do.

 

I'm sorry you're hurting. It does get better with time and space to yourself.