Need some help with my husbands bachelor party

[BBaughman]

some woman are ok with strippers and/or strip clibs, and some are not, I like her am one of those that is not, and for the same reson I see it as a form of cheating. Heres my delema and I am an emotional wreck trying to figure out what to do. My husband threw his brother a bachelor party before he got married, well actually they were already married (justice of the piece)and had already had a bachelor party (no strip joint) but before the actual wedding his brother wanted another bachelor party, well this time they did the whole strip club thing, I was devistated, although my husband and I were not married at the time I was preggo with our first kid and already a hormonal wreck who had no self-esteem and that didnt make it any better. Time went on, I let it go, and here we are, my husband and I married (justice of the piece too) going on six months now and our "wedding" isnt until June 2006, but now my husbands brother wants to throw him a bachelor party in a few weeks. My husband didnt have one before, no time, and secretly I was greatful. I know he wants to go to a strip joint because he thinks thats what hes supposed to do, but my god, we are married now, this isnt an honest bachelor party and he could do so many other things than go out and get turned on by a bunch of half naked woman and touch and feel and smell and get drunk and OMG it is driving me crazy, and when I tell him about it he doesnt seem to care, like he thinks its ok to do what he wants even though he is actually married to me. He actually told me that after he gets horny at the club he will come home and take it out on me, I can not believe it, like I want him to touch me after he has gotten hot from another woman! There are so many other things he could do on a not so bachelor party out with the guys that doensnt involve degrading me or practically cheating on me but he doesnt care, hes rather get his rocks off becasue he thinks thats how its supposed to be. Am I wrong here? What should I do, Im tired of talking to my journal, it never helps, I need someones advice.

[vinegal]

Well, I can see a little bit of a contradiction here. You don't want him to have a bachelor party because he's already married, but you will be having a wedding even though you're already married? If this isn't an "honest bachelor party" because you're married, does that mean your wedding next year won't be an honest wedding too? It sounds like you wouldn't have been as upset if he had a bachelor party before you went to the justice of the peace.

[roxyg]

I think you are driving yourself nuts obsessing over what is going to happen at a bachelor party that has not even occurred! Perhaps you both could do some counseling together or you could do some personal counseling to really channel where your possessive emotions are coming from. My fiance and I discussed bachelor/bachelorette parties and have both opted to not have strippers or go to strip clubs, we both don't like the fact that some other half naked person would be rubbing up on us. So you are not wrong in not liking it, but thinking about this the way you are isn't doing you much good either. My suggestion is come to an agreement with your husband before the party, and make sure he is totally committed to sticking with that agreement.

[LadyRose]

I know exactly what you feel like...well sorta. my fiance and i planning to get married this summer and i am in pieces already over the inevitable bachelor party. he told me he doesnt want one, but i know his brother is going to throw one for him, and he does not stand up to his big brother. that is his one weakness.

people can say all they want about how bachelor parties are a "right of passage" or "nothing ever happens" blah blah blah, but no one can predict what will happen or won't. every case is different. you can fully trust your man 100%, but when you equate devious people, women, and ALCOHAL into the scenario, the trust is greatly deminished.

now, im not trying to make you feel worse or anything, i am just encouraging you to NOT back down! keep your guard up and stand up for yourself!

 

ps. the day a man asks you to marry him, he is already making a lifetime commitment, so that is the moment he officially losing any bachelor status he once had. Bachelor parties are stupid and gross, but if the have to occur, it makes sense to do it BEFORE the proposal, right? not before the wedding, duh!