Alostsoul Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 In July 2017 I started an EA with a guy 21 years older than me. He was someone I worked with. I was 22 and him 43. I was in a deep state of depression and he somewhat gave me validation as a person. I realise now this is ridiculous. Nothing ever really came of it until he told me his GF had gone (I took this to mean that she had left him) this was in the start of November. At the end of November it got physical and we slept together a couple of times. In December he announced that he was going to go and convince his gf to come back and that things between us had to stop. At first I was a little hurt but soon came to my senses that it was for the best. So since the end of December we have been pretty much NC other than passing each other at work. I have blocked his number and blocked him on FB. I’ve recently found out that they were on a break during the end of November until he convinced her to come back. I feel awful about ever letting myself get close to him. I haven’t seen them together since January. I don’t know if she’s still on the scene or not. I’m not worried about her finding out I’m worried about him coming back if she leaves him and I’m worried about my parents finding out cause I know they would be so disappointed. I’m currently trying to build a better life for myself after feeling suicidal over the summer but I don’t feel like I deserve to move on and be happy. Any advice would be great. TIA Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 Well done on no longer feeling suicidal mate, that's super important. There is no need for a permanent solution to a temporary accident. That you still think that you don't deserve to move on and be happy, is a problem. That is a big stumbling block. I need for you to search out your love language, search out happiness inside and out, and then you can move on from this. A wise doctor once told me that you should let a relationship go if it's meant to go, otherwise these things die a long suffering death like a cancer death. You don't want a long suffering agonizing period of your life if you can help it. It's going to be super important to your healing for you to become happy again and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 Welcome. I have yet to know anyone in this life who has not done something they regret - it's called being human. Most important, did you make things right? And, what did you learn from the experience such that you will never have to endure it again? You have been through a lot and you are working hard to make a better life for yourself. There is a lot to respect about that. Be kind to yourself. It will be alright. There is no reason to think that you will not go forward to have a happy and productive life, if you continue to work toward creating that for yourself. There is no reason to think that you are not worthy of finding your own happiness and hopefully, love. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alostsoul Posted October 15, 2018 Author Share Posted October 15, 2018 Well done on no longer feeling suicidal mate, that's super important. There is no need for a permanent solution to a temporary accident. That you still think that you don't deserve to move on and be happy, is a problem. That is a big stumbling block. I need for you to search out your love language, search out happiness inside and out, and then you can move on from this. A wise doctor once told me that you should let a relationship go if it's meant to go, otherwise these things die a long suffering death like a cancer death. You don't want a long suffering agonizing period of your life if you can help it. It's going to be super important to your healing for you to become happy again and move on. Thank you. It hasn’t been easy at all!! I know it’s a big problem and one I am really struggling with. I know I need to be happy again and I feel I’ve made some progress just this is a huge stumbling block. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alostsoul Posted October 15, 2018 Author Share Posted October 15, 2018 Welcome. I have yet to know anyone in this life who has not done something they regret - it's called being human. Most important, did you make things right? And, what did you learn from the experience such that you will never have to endure it again? You have been through a lot and you are working hard to make a better life for yourself. There is a lot to respect about that. Be kind to yourself. It will be alright. There is no reason to think that you will not go forward to have a happy and productive life, if you continue to work toward creating that for yourself. There is no reason to think that you are not worthy of finding your own happiness and hopefully, love. Take care. I haven’t been able to make things right other than make the conscious decision to walk away and never look back. What I’ve learned is to find out the true history of someone before jumping into bed with them. And not to let my own insecurities obscure my judgement. I really am trying to move forward and live a happy life. This situation though makes me feel like I don’t deserve to. Like karma is going to hurt me even more. Link to post Share on other sites
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