Two-Year Relationship Ended

[l17l6363]

I'm going to start this off by saying that I'm a senior in highschool, but have had experience to the point that age should not matter, I'm only including it for time-reference.

In freshman year, there was a girl I really liked. I was shy, but I got to know her and eventually started dating her. She had had two sexual partners in the past which was hard to get over (I was 14 at this point, she was a year younger). Things went well at first. Her bestfriend convinced her to dump me, but that was short-lived, and I am convinced that she loved me. Things went very well, but due to grades and a few other factors my parents placed me in residential behavioral treatment. I was only able to call her once a day, but we got through all 11 months and 3 days of it. At one point about halfway through, she said that a friend sexually assaulted her, but I believe this is only partially true. He was a very pushy and douchey person, but the hung out with him in the two days afterwards. That really hurt, but after I got out it was better.

Last May, we made the relationship open to try and fix the imbalance in sexual experience (since she became more religious when I was away). Despite this, she was the one who ended up messing around with someone, but no intercourse took place, just everything before that. It was rough, so we closed it. Exactly a month ago, she cheated on me with a guy I told her I didn't trust her around. They're still talking and she hangs out with him, but I don't believe that she trusts him or did anything since. They never had sex, just grinding and kissing. We broke up shortly afterwards, but she told me that she just wasn't the right person, and to wait for her to change. Two nights ago, I was up all night because she was at a gathering with friends where alcohol was involved. She ended up making out with a girl, and was trying to get me to talk her down to feel better. That hurt me, but I did it anyway. What really hit me, though, is that she had told me that after work today, even though she was supposed to catch up with her friend she interacted with during the open relationship, that she was cancelling to work on homework (she is a senior as well). He showed up at her work anyway, and they went to his house and made out for an hour. I understand that she isn't mine anymore, but she texted me to tell me about it, to clear her conscience again. I don't even know why I'm posting this. There needs to be so much more context for anyone to explain, but then this entry would be way too long. I'm a very fit, fairly popular person, but I made sure no friendships with other girls interfered with the relationship, so it feels like open betrayal. None of you can help, but I felt like i needed to share this somewhere. As someone with depression and anxiety, I'm all too familiar with negative thoughts, and have been able to go through many bad experiences including the death of a friend, both of my best friends moving away, the cheating, and everything else fairly well. But this completely shattered me. I can't sleep, I'm constantly numb, and I self-harmed for the first time in years. I've been progress-minded for years, so this is not a normal situation. I'm past crying, taking to people, trying to make sense of anything. Even if no one responds to this, it made me feel a little better to write this and put it out into the web. For the first time in my life, I'm completely unable to get over this. I'm lost

[Miss Clavel]

I'm going to start this off by saying that I'm a senior in highschool, but have had experience to the point that age should not matter, I'm only including it for time-reference.

In freshman year, there was a girl I really liked. I was shy, but I got to know her and eventually started dating her. She had had two sexual partners in the past which was hard to get over (I was 14 at this point, she was a year younger). Things went well at first. Her bestfriend convinced her to dump me, but that was short-lived, and I am convinced that she loved me. Things went very well, but due to grades and a few other factors my parents placed me in residential behavioral treatment. I was only able to call her once a day, but we got through all 11 months and 3 days of it. At one point about halfway through, she said that a friend sexually assaulted her, but I believe this is only partially true. He was a very pushy and douchey person, but the hung out with him in the two days afterwards. That really hurt, but after I got out it was better.

Last May, we made the relationship open to try and fix the imbalance in sexual experience (since she became more religious when I was away). Despite this, she was the one who ended up messing around with someone, but no intercourse took place, just everything before that. It was rough, so we closed it. Exactly a month ago, she cheated on me with a guy I told her I didn't trust her around. They're still talking and she hangs out with him, but I don't believe that she trusts him or did anything since. They never had sex, just grinding and kissing. We broke up shortly afterwards, but she told me that she just wasn't the right person, and to wait for her to change. Two nights ago, I was up all night because she was at a gathering with friends where alcohol was involved. She ended up making out with a girl, and was trying to get me to talk her down to feel better. That hurt me, but I did it anyway. What really hit me, though, is that she had told me that after work today, even though she was supposed to catch up with her friend she interacted with during the open relationship, that she was cancelling to work on homework (she is a senior as well). He showed up at her work anyway, and they went to his house and made out for an hour. I understand that she isn't mine anymore, but she texted me to tell me about it, to clear her conscience again. I don't even know why I'm posting this. There needs to be so much more context for anyone to explain, but then this entry would be way too long. I'm a very fit, fairly popular person, but I made sure no friendships with other girls interfered with the relationship, so it feels like open betrayal. None of you can help, but I felt like i needed to share this somewhere. As someone with depression and anxiety, I'm all too familiar with negative thoughts, and have been able to go through many bad experiences including the death of a friend, both of my best friends moving away, the cheating, and everything else fairly well. But this completely shattered me. I can't sleep, I'm constantly numb, and I self-harmed for the first time in years. I've been progress-minded for years, so this is not a normal situation. I'm past crying, taking to people, trying to make sense of anything. Even if no one responds to this, it made me feel a little better to write this and put it out into the web. For the first time in my life, I'm completely unable to get over this. I'm lost

 

 

no.you.arenot. she is.

 

she's very young, immature and careless. she hurts you. she needs counseling. she should talk to someone about why she wants to "get with" other people so quickly.

 

they don't have to earn her respect and they don't respect her.

 

that's on her.

 

i'm surprised you respect her anymore.

 

she doesn't want an excursive relationship and she doesn't want monogamy. bully for her.

 

let her go.

 

i don't think you can even keep the **cough cough** friendship going either because judging by your mood and your feelings, all she does is hurt you.

 

she can't save you. you can't save her. read that again. and again.

 

what you can do is save your future by getting thru high school with grades good enough to get out of there and over to a decent college.

 

make this time in your life, your youth, count for something. believe me in less then a decade you will only be in your twenties and you will shake your head in wonder about how dramatic and painful senior year was. you'll have a college degree and you'll be making bank living in your own pad.

 

don't look back, you're not going that way.

 

and even tho you don't know me, i'm a stranger on the internet, i feel for you mother. a year in a facility? thats gotta be hard on her.

 

now that you're out, stay out and stay away from people that make you feel so bad.