kp96 Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 Hello. I am strongly considering divorcing my wife. We have a 10 month old baby. If it wasn't for the baby I would have filed already. My wife is abusive. Anybody either experience or know friends who have divorced with a baby? If so, how did the child turn out? I am very sad for the sake of my baby, but I dont think I can deal with this. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 In what way is she abusive? Abandoning a child means you are legally required in many locales to pay alimony until the child is 18. Serious consequences are on the line here. Please explain your situation / what is the lady doing that is so abusive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kp96 Posted October 16, 2018 Author Share Posted October 16, 2018 I have a chain in the marriage section actually. Long story short, she emotionally abused me with threats of divorce very frequently. For this chain I'm not interested in discussing that. I am mostly interested in how my baby girl will do if we separate before she is 1 year old. Assume we have shared physical custody 50 50. I think that is the most likely case. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 I would say that her welfare would largely depend on how cooperative and civil the two of you are after the divorce. If the two of you don't speak badly of each other to her and cooperate in decisions regarding her welfare, then her outcome will be better. Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 Hi kp, as the saying goes "It isn't over till it's over", and although your wife is threatening divorce, I do not think she will actually pull the plug. She does seem to be a classic case of BPD and you should heed what Downtown has posted on your thread. He has a lot of experience in this field. For the rest well I guess it is better to be prepared for the worst and hope for the best, so go ahead and get opinions on how to handle divorce with a ten month old baby. Wish you the very best going forward. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 I am mostly interested in how my baby girl will do if we separate before she is 1 year old. Nobody can answer that unless they have a crystal ball. But chances are, she will be worse off if you stay with an abusive wife. As she grows up she will learn from your example that abuse, and taking abuse, is normal. And that will mean she is likely to get into an abusive relationship herself. For the sake of your daughter, lead by example and don't tolerate abuse of any kind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 Your child will probably be fine as long as your wife chooses her new partner wisely. With a child that young you may find her step father may end up playing a bigger role in her life than you do... unless you make a determined effort. I see from your other thread that she feels you scammed her over the house ownership and your control over money is an issue. These things are BIG, I can see where the resentment comes from, add baby to the mix a bit of Post partum depression and she is done. Her anger comes from contempt and probably some depression too. Contempt is never good in a marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kp96 Posted October 16, 2018 Author Share Posted October 16, 2018 Your child will probably be fine as long as your wife chooses her new partner wisely. With a child that young you may find her step father may end up playing a bigger role in her life than you do... unless you make a determined effort. I see from your other thread that she feels you scammed her over the house ownership and your control over money is an issue. These things are BIG, I can see where the resentment comes from, add baby to the mix a bit of Post partum depression and she is done. Her anger comes from contempt and probably some depression too. Contempt is never good in a marriage. The biggest problem here is that she will not listen to me. She thinks I am scamming her but there is no scam. Marital assets can only he divided...not anything I acquired before. She has a house too....we have separate accounts and she has been paying for that house. We are going to end up not getting anything from either house anyway so what kind of scam am I running? A scam where I dont get any benefit? I am going to push for marriage counseling for the sake of my child and to hopefully get the marriage back on track. The bigger problem is that she has already gotten divorce papers and is threatening to file. If she doesthat, then I guess it is over., Link to post Share on other sites
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