Second Chance

[SamanthaAnn]

So I will start off with giving a little bit of a back story. Please bare with me as I am new to forums...

 

So I had been dating a guy for 8 years we had been together since I was 17/18 we moved in together after a year of dating. We ended up buying a house together and all of that. So I assumed that we were going to be getting married next and we talked about it and we both knew it was going to happen.

Well last year he unexpectedly broke up with me. By far one of the worst things I had to go through. We both had our own faults. Nothing like cheating. It was more along the lines of just not doing things together anymore. I had some health issues that I didn’t know about at the time, and he thought that he didn’t want to get married or anything like that. We broke up and went our separate ways for almost a year. During that year he got new friends and was around people who are married and realized that he wanted that and he made a big mistake.

 

So fast forward to now and we have been back together for almost 2 months and things have been a lot better and we have talked about me moving back in the house. And as much as I want to, I’m so hesitant about it. I’m just so worried I’m going to move back in and then what if he changes his mind again?

 

I guess what I’m trying to ask is for some advice on how not worry so much about it. Sorry if this seems scattered I tried to give some back story haha. Thanks in advance guys!

[Garcon1986]

Welcome to LS! I think it is legitimate to worry about this bloke's long term intentions if he broke up with you partially over some health issues. Moving in with your boyfriend at the age of 18 into a house is a huge huge decision, and people's minds and hearts change over the years. It's fairly common for a lad to get cold feet when he is 18-22 about being married, heck even older lads get cold feet about it. One way you can approach this is to tell your boyfriend your concerns, and just have a heart to heart, nonconfrontational chat about it. Pick a time when both your minds are clear. This is a fine question to have - sorting out your man's long term intentions. I would at the same time, ponder any last incompatibilities you two may have. Then - see if those incompatibilities can be fixed. You can't make him marry you, but you can create an environment where he freely chooses it and thinks it's the best thing to do. It will be a bit of a nerve wracking conversation but well worth it.

 

Here's some questions courtesy of MSN to ponder as a quick template:

 

1. Why do you love me?

2. Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?

3. Will you do your best to keep the romance alive?

4. Will you grow with me, and not away from me?

 

5. Will you stick through the rough times?

6. Are you willing to lose some battles in order to keep the peace?

7. Can you promise to put us ahead of everything else?

8. Will you be a great parent?

9. Will you be sure to remind me how much you love me regularly?

10. Can you promise to do all you can to keep that spark alive?

11. Will you support me if I can't support myself?

12. Will you promise to continue to pursue your goals and dreams?

13. Will you not allow yourself to let go?

14. If I'm the first to go, will you be there with me until the end?

15. Can you promise me if my time is cut short, you'll continue to live on for the both of us?

 

 

Cheers to your long relationship so far even though, there were bumpy side roads.