True or false: Men prefer average women because less work and competition?

[pepperbird]

How does one define a "10"?

 

 

I have a friend who is not all that physically attractive . She has a thyroid issue that has been really difficult to get under control, and she's gained a lot of weight, and has a really hard time losing it.

 

If I were o show her picture, I don't think many would rate her a "10". In person, there are many who would.

 

 

She's one of those rare people who have a personality that draws others to them, both as friends or for romance. Guys hit on her everywhere she goes, but she is completely devoted to her husband. She's super positive and always has a kind word for anyone. She's also a natural leader who brings others up instead of tearing them down. Her husband is just as devoted to her as she is to him, and that never seems to change even after two decades of marriage.

[sabaton]

A study was done awhile back where a beautiful, sexy woman was placed in a busy park. She acted as though she had a crisis that she needed help with. Men consistently stopped to help her. This happened over and over again. Then they placed a not-so-attractive female in the same location, same situation and only 1 or 2 men stopped to see if she needed help (it might've actually been zero men that stopped but I don't recall exactly).

 

For all the guys saying they're not affected by looks, I find it hard to believe. Not saying all men cheat or are all looking for the beauty queen. Just saying, beauty has its effect.

And women aren't affected by a man's aesthetics?

 

 

 

Who do you think gets the most casual sex?

 

 

A skinny, short guy, or a 6'3'' man at 210lbs 9% body fat with a face like Chris Pine? Who do you think sleeps with the most women without paying for it? Sean O'Pry, who is so gorgeous and whose body looks like was built from granite by Zeus, that even straight men feel attracted to him because of how divine his beauty is?

 

or some other random dude you see walking down the street? And who do you think has a much easier time getting laid/getting a girlfriend/getting a hot girlfriend without much effort at all?

 

The guy who earns 10 million dollars a year walking down in speedos over a fashion catwalk, or the guys you see working in restaurants or grocery stores?

 

 

How does one define a "10"?

A 10 would be a woman most men alive would love to have casual sex with, and possibly date, if they were comfortable having thousands of men hitting on their girlfriends, if they could.

 

It could also be the sort of woman a man would be willing to spend millions to sleep with, if they had those millions and the girl was willing to sleep with him in exchange of money.

 

I would spend millions of dollars on Sara Sampaio to spend a night with her, a Southern European Victoria's secret lingerie fashion model, and I would also spend the same money to sleep with a genetic clone of Kendell Jenner.

 

Those two girls are my 10s. To some other guy, i dunno, a 22 year old Cindy Crawford would be his 10, or a 18 year old Claudia Schiffer would be his 10, or for the afficionados of curvy women, a 19 year old Laetitia Casta would be his dream girl 10/10.

Edited October 18, 2018 by sabaton

[brigit87]

Studies have proven that relationships endure best when the man and woman are at a similar level lookswise. A man can spend more money to date up, but that doesn't mean she desires him on the primal level. In most cases if he's not as good-looking as she is, her desire will be lukewarm at best - but she'll enjoy the benefit$ as long as he keeps them coming.

 

I think a lot of men are figuring out it's not very fulfilling to be with a woman who doesn't truly desire him. She'll look good on your arm, but won't go out of her way to please you in bed, for example. She might go through the motions to keep the benefits coming. But most men can tell the difference between going through the motions and genuinely striving to please.

 

This post is very good. Men don't want to hear this stuff but it's true.

[brigit87]

most of the good looking women I've dated have been full of sh*t

 

there is a saying that goes: "if a man wants a happy life he should have an ugly wife"

 

 

 

Here ya go.

[loversquarrel]

I think there are a lot of guys out there who are intimidated with approaching what some would refer to as a "10". I am married to a very attractive woman, and have dated and been in relationships with average to very attractive women before that. I never felt threatened by other "competition" unless those women that I was with did something to warrant such a reaction. Most of the insecurities I have felt were more of a result from being hurt in the past and when I'm placed in a similar situation that bell gets rung.

 

I guess it's the person you're with and how they treat you that ultimately gets under the surface of physical attraction which ultimately determines whether or not that person ranks as a 10 to me. My wife is most definitely a 10.

[Chilli]

This post is very good. Men don't want to hear this stuff but it's true.

 

 

Very shallow write up , and as usual it doesn't talk about things both ways and what if it's vice versa which is very common and women don't wanna hear that either.

But then he gets the shyt like oh he should love her for who she is and if he loves her how she looks shouldn't matter. And he can be just going through the motions too.

Seen it all with friends and heard it all 1000 times too.

Edited October 19, 2018 by Chilli

[Chilli]

I think there are a lot of guys out there who are intimidated with approaching what some would refer to as a "10". I am married to a very attractive woman, and have dated and been in relationships with average to very attractive women before that. I never felt threatened by other "competition" unless those women that I was with did something to warrant such a reaction. Most of the insecurities I have felt were more of a result from being hurt in the past and when I'm placed in a similar situation that bell gets rung.

 

I guess it's the person you're with and how they treat you that ultimately gets under the surface of physical attraction which ultimately determines whether or not that person ranks as a 10 to me. My wife is most definitely a 10.

 

 

Why would anyone be the least bit concerned about competition. There's trust in any real relationship . But she'd also know how to handle herself well and truly by this age . And if she didn't have the values of loyalty anyway, why would you even be with her in the first place.

[A O]

Read in an article the other day that although men love the idea of being with a 'perfect 10', most opt out and go for the average woman because less insecurity about having to ward off other men and keep competing to keep the woman.

 

True?

Looking on the bright side (from a male point of view) this type of thinking takes a few more guys out of the dating equation, leaving the pickings a bit more fruitful for those who otherwise, have zero interest in handicapping themselves out of the top-end of the dating game. Thus, this issue isn't a matter of truth but a matter of whether this viewpoint actually suits your purpose or not...and for most men, the answer to this is no.

[guest569]

Read in an article the other day that although men love the idea of being with a 'perfect 10', most opt out and go for the average woman because less insecurity about having to ward off other men and keep competing to keep the woman.

 

True?

 

I doubt it. As if anyone is going to dump someone cause they're too good.

[guest569]

If my ex-girlfriends could get a 25 year old Brad Pitt: why on heaven would they sleep with me?

 

Your wonderful personality.

[thefooloftheyear]

I doubt it. As if anyone is going to dump someone cause they're too good.

 

 

Really depends on what you think is " too good"

 

IME, women have no issue hitting on good looking men...They could be single, married, whatever.. They'll even do it right in front of the guys wife/gf face..

 

Guys generally don't do this...In fact one guy on the street sees another guy with a hot woman and he'll give a nod or thumbs up...

 

 

So now. you(not you personally) are the average woman with the good looking guy...Every time you go someplace, there are women sizing up your man and wondering what the hell he sees in you..You go to dinner and the waitress is staring at his biceps and not even hearing what you say....And she's better looking and younger than you, even if the guy shows no intention to want to be with any of these women, a lot of women wont want to deal with that, and have that constant feeling of insecurity...So they grudgingly bail...

 

.02

 

TFY

Edited October 19, 2018 by thefooloftheyear

[basil67]

Really depends on what you think is " too good"

 

IME, women have no issue hitting on good looking men...They could be single, married, whatever.. They'll even do it right in front of the guys wife/gf face..

 

Guys generally don't do this...In fact one guy on the street sees another guy with a hot woman and he'll give a nod or thumbs up...

 

 

So now. you(not you personally) are the average woman with the good looking guy...Every time you go someplace, there are women sizing up your man and wondering what the hell he sees in you..You go to dinner and the waitress is staring at his biceps and not even hearing what you say....And she's better looking and younger than you, even if the guy shows no intention to want to be with any of these women, a lot of women wont want to deal with that, and have that constant feeling of insecurity...So they grudgingly bail...

 

.02

 

TFY

 

TFY, are you suggesting that men who are OK with sleeping with another man's partner generally won't do so if she's good looking?

[elaine567]

Guys generally don't do this...In fact one guy on the street sees another guy with a hot woman and he'll give a nod or thumbs up...

 

Ok so men tend not to steal other men's wives/gfs/partners...

Really???

[beatcuff]

Perfect 10 on a scale of greatness overall, not only physical appearance.

nope, another lie women tell each other. men spend more time talking about 'shes hot' than anything else combined. and the smart men will never admit it to their woman because they don't want to create drama.

 

so why aren't all men chasing 10's. i assume a huge part is we are wired to realize what we (men) are: so 5's chase 4-6 etc. but both sexes eliminate countless due to looks without even thinking about it. seriously take a look at your friends/co-workers/anyone. how many couples do you see that 'don't match' (+/- 1)? i would guess you would be hard pressed to find more than 2.

 

i say all that to (finally) answer the OP's question. no, we do not prefer average women because it's less work or competition its because we found someone, within our range, who checked enough boxes (looks/our type, cooking skills, personality, humor, dependability) to spend more time with.

[thefooloftheyear]

Ok so men tend not to steal other men's wives/gfs/partners...

Really???

 

 

Not in my experience....nope...

 

Guys seem far less competitive with other guys women...

 

Not sure exactly why, but my guess is that there is always the fear of having the shyt kicked out of you...Not that a woman wouldn't do that to another woman, but its probably less likely...I dunno...

 

I just think women are far more competitive with another for men than the opposite...Maybe less good men to pick from??, again...I dunno...

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

TFY, are you suggesting that men who are OK with sleeping with another man's partner generally won't do so if she's good looking?

 

Like I said to Elaine...

 

Guys seem to "different" here...If a guy is with an obviously good looking/good body woman, I see other guys will show respect, back slap and high five, etc...

 

Women see another woman with a good looking guy and they seem to get jealous and pissed off..."what he see in HER!!"...And they will back stab...Heck, just look at the other thread where the woman snaked her own sister out of the guy she was going after...That would be pretty unheard of for a guy to do...

 

Also, in my lifetime, I have never known a guy that went after another guys married wife(so good looking or not, it's really not that common, IME)..It was always the other way around...And I have known several women who went after married guys...

 

These could merely be my own life experience and yours may vary, but thats about all I could do is give my own experience..

 

TFY

Edited October 19, 2018 by thefooloftheyear

[2.50 a gallon]

TFY

 

 

I disagree, it has been my experience that when I met a good looking woman, I assumed that there was most likely a man in her life and most times I was right. Rarely did I find a hottie that was totally available. When I met my former fiancé she was actively dating two guys.

As for my current GF of 23 years, long beautiful legs, a face I can kiss good morning to for the rest of my life, and a new grandmother, who still had a hour glass figure and a flat stomach. I rightfully assumed she had a boy friend, and would have to wait for him to make a mistake.

As it turned out, he was younger than her, and a semi-pro heavy weight boxer. That didn't scare me or a dozen other guys.

[PRW]

I've worked all my life in a business known for good looking people (not me ) of both sexes. Many of them have a uniquely distorted view of the world.

 

 

Same here. A TV News Station,...20 years

[No_Go]

Read in an article the other day that although men love the idea of being with a 'perfect 10', most opt out and go for the average woman because less insecurity about having to ward off other men and keep competing to keep the woman.

 

True?

 

True, but I think it's for different reason.

 

People tend to match to someone of the same (perceived) value as them mainly for the following reason: if they feel 'lesser' resentment builds because they think retention is harder and the partner looks down on them, if they feel 'superior' resentment builds because they think they are 'underselling themselves' and are looking down on their partner.

 

The only caveat is *perceived* value. Frequently people over- or under-estimate their attractiveness (both physical and other metrics). It is easier with things like net worth, educational level, athletic abilities (easy to measure), but when we talk about beauty or intelligence - we're so PC brain washed to NOT say the truth ("everyone is beautiful" " you're beautiful just the way you are" "we are all smart just in different ways" and similar nonsense), that people can't accurately self-evaluate. Result: heartbreaks, breakups, divorces, bitter and resentful couples and singles. Cheers for PC movement!

[NuevoYorko]

we're so PC brain washed to NOT say the truth ("everyone is beautiful" " you're beautiful just the way you are" "we are all smart just in different ways" and similar nonsense), that people can't accurately self-evaluate. Result: heartbreaks, breakups, divorces, bitter and resentful couples and singles. Cheers for PC movement!

 

So you prefer to gauge physical appearance and intelligence on a simple 1 - 100 (or whatever) scale rather than entertain the idea that there may be different types of attractiveness and brain power?

 

Hm. I tend to find many people to be attractive in various ways. I'm always fascinated by the way my daughter, among other people in my life, exhibits intelligence that is quite different from my own. Yikes. Brainwashed!

 

Putting that aside for a moment: I don't find "high maintenance" type women to be attractive past a point. It's not a question of whether they get a high score on a linear scale or not.

 

I like what I like, as most people do.

[No_Go]

No, just think scale can be helpful if someone can’t evaluate their value (objectively) and target mates accordingly.

 

You like what you like of course- this means you measure in a given scale - whether you word it out or not. I’m just saying trying to quantify helps, we measure on scale either way (think light intensity - you don’t think of it, but your eyes constantly perceive it and adjust accordingly)

 

So you prefer to gauge physical appearance and intelligence on a simple 1 - 100 (or whatever) scale rather than entertain the idea that there may be different types of attractiveness and brain power?

 

Hm. I tend to find many people to be attractive in various ways. I'm always fascinated by the way my daughter, among other people in my life, exhibits intelligence that is quite different from my own. Yikes. Brainwashed!

 

Putting that aside for a moment: I don't find "high maintenance" type women to be attractive past a point. It's not a question of whether they get a high score on a linear scale or not.

 

I like what I like, as most people do.

[NuevoYorko]

No, just think scale can be helpful if someone can’t evaluate their value (objectively) and target mates accordingly.

 

Hm. I don't. I have decent mating success.

 

You like what you like of course- this means you measure in a given scale

 

Nope. I don't.

 

The world would be a dismal, one dimensional place for me & millions of other people if all qualities were objectively measurable upon a linear scale - and if failing to do so indicated "brainwashing." From my perspective, failing to do so indicates a potential for creative thinking; virtually the opposite of being brainwashed.

 

It occurs to me that embracing the idea that others are "brainwashed" if they have a vastly different world view than ones own may indicate "brainwashing" upon the part of the person insisting that their perspective is the absolute. I know Fundamentalists with exactly this pattern of thinking.

 

I'm not trying to change your mind, just providing an alternative point of view.

You certainly have plenty of company in your camp of "1-10" around here but there are a lot of us functioning on a different plane entirely.

 

 

Whatever works for you. Carry on.

[No_Go]

Understood it’s a different viewpoint. I’m done with dating anyway, I found what I want already. So I’m more speaking in general manner.

 

I think creativity in thinking is ok but every situation can be simplified to few parameters functionally related in some way, basically a model. We do this subconsciously and may or may not be aware of it, it is helpful to be aware for these who struggle, for does who don’t - doesn’t matter anyway.

 

Hm. I don't. I have decent mating success.

 

 

 

Nope. I don't.

 

The world would be a dismal, one dimensional place for me & millions of other people if all qualities were objectively measurable upon a linear scale - and if failing to do so indicated "brainwashing." From my perspective, failing to do so indicates a potential for creative thinking; virtually the opposite of being brainwashed.

 

It occurs to me that embracing the idea that others are "brainwashed" if they have a vastly different world view than ones own may indicate "brainwashing" upon the part of the person insisting that their perspective is the absolute. I know Fundamentalists with exactly this pattern of thinking.

 

I'm not trying to change your mind, just providing an alternative point of view.

You certainly have plenty of company in your camp of "1-10" around here but there are a lot of us functioning on a different plane entirely.

 

 

Whatever works for you. Carry on.

[guest569]

Hopeful30, why do you ask? Is this just curiosity? Where do you fit into it all?

[Hopeful30]

Room stoppers simply get noticed more often and analyzed more often and others insecurities projected upon them more often.

 

I've actually noticed this quite a bit. Very good looking people (in general beautiful people regardless your culture) are often treated very differently. Could it be because they are so few?

 

I'm not a man but I think it's true. I also think the same is true when you reverse the genders. Most of us just want to be loved and it can be a real buzz kill or turn off when you start talking to someone you like and then find out that they have 8 other people actively trying to get them too.

 

This is true, but I imagine that it operates differently when it's a MAN who needs to keep the women. Women are generally programmed to seek security and stability -- constantly chasing a man does not represent that, and most women don't.

 

But when a man competes for a woman, it fuels his testosterone ego. it's almost like he's proving to nature he is worthy of the eggs he is fighting for. "My offspring shall mix with this DNA b*tches, these are gonna be my sperms who will dominate." It's in a man's nature to fight, compete and trying to be the biggest and baddest, no? I've also heard men say that they love "high competition" women because they're always on their toes, and they never feel "settled" down and bored but like the best parts of the relationship (the chase) is always ongoing.

 

dating in America is pretty screwed up. If you go to other places like Europe or S. America things are more normal

 

Pretty much. I've been single for years. Went to Europe, within two weeks I had two suitors Felt pretty good, not gonna lie. Sometimes I forget I'm a lady until I travel

 

The of high maintenance women that are out there in society tend to usually be very attractive and are often from financially well off families,...but everyone knows that this is not always true in every case. If that were true we would all just throw in the towel and "go for poor/ugly",...problem solved.

 

What makes someone look high maintenance? Is it if they're dressed well? They look clean? When does regular maintenance turn into *high* maintenance?

 

Besides, why do men assume that high maintenance is a bad thing? Women who are high maintenance are like that because they are maintaining themselves to that standard. How is this related to men? Why is it unattractive?

 

it's not like a high maintenance woman will start dating a guy and then expect him to do her nails, hair, makeup, and buy her expensive clothes just because she's "high maintenance" She's already doing this herself...

 

 

I thinK it’s funny to hear people’s thoughts on high maintenance. I have naturally long nails, natural extremely full lips & naturally thin my whole life. I use dollar store nail polish, some of my most complimented outfits have been $15 or under, my hair is dead straight & I don’t even own a blow dryer & takes 10 mins to do my whole makeup routine...& people by one look always accuse me of being high maintenance...been accused of my lips being done, that I lie about my nails being natural, I’m anorexic & my friends & family laugh. I’m the least high maintenance woman I know...in any way.

 

It's a very unfair judgement, absolutely. Then again, people who point and say "high maintenance" are saying more about themselves than the person they're pointing at.