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True or false: Men prefer average women because less work and competition?


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thefooloftheyear

It all boils down to this...

 

I've made decisions in my life for my own sake and because I thought it was "good" for me...Never one second did I do anything with the thinking that it may or may not make me more or less desirable to the opposite sex...

 

Never......

 

To now proclaim that men suck, because they won't accept a woman because she did this, didn't do that ...whatever....Is simply ludicrous...And to sit around and say..."well I get no one because I am too good, too important, too wealthy, etc" is just stupid..

 

Live your life by your own choices, and quit whining.....The sheer numbers favor finding at least one person, no matter what your life choices are...Some of the most bizarre and unconventional people I know are in healthy relationships...

 

TFY

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The fact that you say "clearly they're not needed by you" is the reason women like me are single. And you're right, it's their perception of me. I guess perception in the west is very distorted if well put-together people suddenly don't need sex, affection or relationship because they know how to be an independent adult...

 

I have seen plenty of men get together with women who are independent and accomplished. Do I think a woman being independent and accomplished turns some men off? Yes, I do, but the world is filled with all types. Some men will be turned off by it and some men will be turned on by it. If you are wondering how to get the attention of men who are turned off by it, I would like to point something out first. Have you ever noticed the sheer number of men who say that their ex, sometimes all of their exes, were "crazy"? There is something about "crazy" that these men are attracted to. Maybe crazy women are more passionate, more needy, more fun, more expressive, more exciting, more something that you are not. Maybe her being crazy is a built-in out for the guys, who knows? But there is something about crazy (not to mention vapid) that some men are truly attracted to. If that's not you, then don't worry about it or give it any more thought. Many independent women have a man.

Edited by snowcones
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I've actually noticed this quite a bit. Very good looking people (in general beautiful people regardless your culture) are often treated very differently. Could it be because they are so few?

 

 

 

This is true, but I imagine that it operates differently when it's a MAN who needs to keep the women. Women are generally programmed to seek security and stability -- constantly chasing a man does not represent that, and most women don't.

 

But when a man competes for a woman, it fuels his testosterone ego. it's almost like he's proving to nature he is worthy of the eggs he is fighting for. "My offspring shall mix with this DNA b*tches, these are gonna be my sperms who will dominate." It's in a man's nature to fight, compete and trying to be the biggest and baddest, no? I've also heard men say that they love "high competition" women because they're always on their toes, and they never feel "settled" down and bored but like the best parts of the relationship (the chase) is always ongoing.

 

 

 

Never competed for a women in my life and all this fuel thing , l just mean wtf.

The ideas and explanations people come up with !!. Never known any friend of mine that would compete for a women either.

lf l had to compete then she can piss off as far as l'm concerned l'd never play second fiddle if l'm not number one and only then she doesn't feel the right stuff and l'm not interested.

Same with all this multi dating bs although far as l know they don't do that here it's one ata time or nothing but l wouldn't be interested in a women that does either. Just says so much about her and the lack of in so many ways to me.

Edited by Chilli
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l think this men threatened bs by successful women is also bs.

Men are pretty practical and the thing there is , one, she'll probably always be busy , and probably have a stick up her ass and be about as much fun as a migraine , but 2 , she'd probably put pressure on him to be more successful too and if he doesn't care about being more successful then why live with that crap.

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most of the successful, educated, quality women I know are sitting at home alone on Saturday night watching Hallmark channel and eating bon bons
Funny how reality trumps all the "theories". Edited by PRW
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I've actually noticed this quite a bit. Very good looking people (in general beautiful people regardless your culture) are often treated very differently. Could it be because they are so few?
Yes. There are very few people on this world who are considered to be attractive, and the handful of women and men that are very attractive make fortunes off their beauty.

 

That's why we have men like Sean O'Pry making dozens of millions of dollars a year by walking down a catwalk wearing speedos, and why there are 26 year old women like Sara Sampaio who at that age already earns millions and millions of dollars a year, affording her to buy a very expensive apt. in New York City.

 

Sampaio paid $3.52 million for the 1,604-square-foot unit; slightly under the $3.6 million price tag. Even though the sale was only officially completed at the end of March, it looks like sheÂ’s had the residence in mind for a while, as it was already in contract as far back as November 2017.

 

It always baffles my mind that obesity is considered average and normal and expected in Canada, The United States of America and Europe, and that in turn the fact that there's so very few people who care about their physical health and looks, that these models and actors and atheletes who decided they didn't want a love affair with fast food only became even more attractive because there's no competition, you know?

 

And let's not forget that Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise and Harrison Ford have made each hundreds of millions due to their extraordinary good-looks, because no matter how talented those guys are, do you really see Steve Buscemi in the role of Louis de Pointe du Lac, or Danny Devito taking the role of Pete "Maverick" Mitchell?

 

This is true, but I imagine that it operates differently when it's a MAN who needs to keep the women. Women are generally programmed to seek security and stability -- constantly chasing a man does not represent that, and most women don't.
Women are generally progammed to seek security and stability? How do you know how women or men are progammed?

 

Are you talking about those days - that still happen in most of the world outside of the western nations - when women weren't allowed to have property in their name, their own bank account, their own job, and how they weren't allowed to choose their husbands?

 

Sure, but women in the west don't need men anymore, thankfully, and now they're going to select the men that they really want to be with, and that is good for both women and men. My mother could have married plenty a rich man who proposed marriage to her.

 

She chose my father who was a mechanic's apprentice when she met him, and decades after my mom's decision to select and pick my father as her husband from the men who wanted her, they're still both very happy with each other. And mom is still 80lbs to this day hehe.

 

If women cared about stability and a man's ability to provide - they'd be all marrying off at the age of 18-22 the men who are older than them, well-established and with a nice job and a house, and savings. Guess what? Most of those women aren't doing that.

 

But when a man competes for a woman, it fuels his testosterone ego.
Competes for a woman? How precisely does that competition take place? Do men duel as the sun is going down for the hand of the lady? I knew guys in college who were dating girls who could've easily have had a better-looking boyfriend but they chose that guy.

 

There is no competition. We ain't nothing but mammals, but women tend to develop feelings for those guys that they have chemistry with, and that doesn't depend on the man's ability to provide or how muscular he is compared to the other men around.

 

it's almost like he's proving to nature he is worthy of the eggs he is fighting for. "My offspring shall mix with this DNA b*tches, these are gonna be my sperms who will dominate.
Considering how most men end up reproducing and most men are not attractive in the slighest- how are men competing and attempting to prove to nature that they're worthy of impregnanting a woman?

 

" It's in a man's nature to fight, compete and trying to be the biggest and baddest, no?
Nope. Most men are physically sick in one way or another.

 

 

Diabetes, obesity, chronic heart disase, shortness, skinnyess, baldness, crooked teeth, or yellow teeth etc etc. Men did compete physically for women but that was 200.000 years ago, and now it's all about that sweet charisma, once you have the basics down: don't be overweight, don't be 5 feet tall, and don't be facially deformed(ugly).

 

I've also heard men say that they love "high competition" women because they're always on their toes, and they never feel "settled" down and bored but like the best parts of the relationship (the chase) is always ongoing.
yeah, date a beautiful 18 year old girl and then tell me you enjoy the competition of having hordes of men hitting on your girl. Edited by sabaton
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This is not about condescension in women this is about male insecurity in the face of quality women.
What is your definition of a quality woman?

 

 

 

My personal definition of a quality woman is a woman I'm sexually attracted to and that has nothing to do with how many college degrees she's got under her belt, how much money she makes, and how high is her social status within her profession.

 

I'm impressed by her accomplishments, that's the truth, and I will admire her like I will admire some guy who became the CEO of a major company before he was 40 or something, but if she's lacking what I seek for in a woman I am not going to be attracted to her. It has nothing to do with being insecure as a man, and everything to do that I can't force myself to be sexually attracted to a woman who doesn't have personal, physical beauty.

 

What do I want in a woman, in a potential relationship partner?

 

A woman I can't look at without marveling how pretty she is. I dated a girl in college who would wake up at 5 in the morning, 2 hours earlier than she'd have to wake up to reach our college in time, to work on her hair, her skin care, her make-up, her nails, her clothes, her watch and rings and earings and I never saw her twice with the same outfit.

 

Shoes, she'd spend hundreds on that a month. Clothes, and make-up, and hair products: the same.

 

I'm solely attracted to hyper feminine women, not just in looks, style of fashion, but in her personality and in the delicacy of her emotions. When a woman is truly attracted to you she will make herself as hot as humanely possibly, on her DIME, because she wants you to only have eyes for her, whereas career women are too busy advancing their careers to worry about looking pretty, fit and hot.

 

It is fine for men to be intelligent, assertive and successful but God help any woman who purports to be the same...
It's not that those women are not wanted by many men because they have more accomplishments than the men, or because those women make more money or have more of a college education than the men who are rejecting them by not approaching them, or by not putting the same effort they put into dating a waitress or a dentist's receptionist.

 

It's that in many cases the women who make a lot of money are trying to make up for something by having all of those green dollah dollah bills in the bank.

 

Physically unnattractive.

 

 

Now, I don't know what Hope30 looks like, and I am not interested in finding out.

 

 

She's probably an attractive woman for her age, but generally speaking the men who are physically hot are gonna go for hot women who work at Forever 21 over chasing after average looking women no matter how much money those women have or accomplishments, or independently to how many pictures of themselves they have with Hillary Clinton, and the men who are rich or have high social status, are gonna go for women who are hot over women who are at the top of the food pyramid in their field of work.

 

Successful, educated, quality women
But are those women physically attractive? Do they still have their youthful looks past the age of 25? Do they have fit bodies? Do attractive young men still approach them?

 

Because if they lack that what makes you think that the men are going to consider those women to be quality women regardless of how many PhD's in medicine those women have, or how many trips they can take a man on with the money they make?

 

 

I'm not really sure how 'success' is measured for the purpose of this thread

 

 

Success in America is measured by how much money you have in the bank, the expensive houses you can afford to buy, and how many young women want to become your mistress.

 

 

 

 

Your wonderful personality.

 

 

Although I do find the attempt at sarcasm to be cute, it did make me wonder.

 

 

 

Do you people honestly believe a wonderful personality creates sexual attraction in a woman for a man? Or generally speaking, do you believe a man can become sexually attracted to a woman because she's nice, and friendly and sweet?

 

I'm not talking about thirsty men. I'm talking about a man over time becoming lustful when looking at a woman he wasn't previously sexually attracted to because she volunteers at the Church or works in a kitchen for free to feed the homeless?

 

 

I am attracted from the get-go by looking at a woman, by her being my physical type, or I will never be attracted to that person, no matter how much I enjoy her company because of her personality.

Edited by sabaton
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It always baffles my mind that obesity is considered average and normal and expected in Canada, The United States of America and Europe, and that in turn the fact that there's so very few people who care about their physical health and looks, that these models and actors and atheletes who decided they didn't want a love affair with fast food only became even more attractive because there's no competition, you know

 

 

But the difference between these top models, actors, athletes and the average guy/girl on the street is not just down to obesity or poor physical health or fast food is it?

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But the difference between these top models, actors, athletes and the average guy/girl on the street is not just down to obesity or poor physical health or fast food is it?

 

There are many sorts of male models. The majority of the male models are not working for Calvin Klein, Dior, Channel 5,Tommy hilfiger, or Versace.

 

The top dogs in the Industry like Sean O'Pry, the King of them all, David Gandy, or Simon Nessman are but a handful of oddities in the world of fashion.

 

A man can become a catalog model just by not being overweight, being young and not being afraid of taking his shirt off if requested, as I've met many a model that I wouldn't have realized his or hers line of work had they not mentioned it for some reason or another.

 

athletes and the average guy/girl on the street is not just down to obesity or poor physical health or fast food is it?
In this case, I'm talking about personal beauty and level of fitness. The body of David Beckham, when he was young, is very easy to attain.

 

If a guy doesn't eat fast food and if he doesn't spend all day long sitting on a chair, it's really not that hard to reach it, even if he doesn't work out and instead just moves around, as David Beckham was never muscular. He just has low body fat(although I do know that he pulled weights) as he never went on a bulking regime and personalized diet to put on weight and to get lean and cut.

 

It always fascinates me that the international soccer player Bernardo Silva, when he takes off his shirt, he has the same body build that nearly every other guy has around here, but when he starts running on the soccer field he becomes something else, much above the average man,

 

which in this case, have the same body type that Bernardo Silva got, but if he was to move to a place where the majority of the people were obese-he'd be considered physically hot, despite the fact that he doesn't draw eyes and glances from the women in Portimão, if he was to visit it here, because every guy looks the same.

Edited by sabaton
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littleblackheart

But are those women physically attractive? Do they still have their youthful looks past the age of 25? Do they have fit bodies? Do attractive young men still approach them?

 

Yes.

 

Because if they lack that what makes you think that the men are going to consider those women to be quality women regardless of how many PhD's in medicine those women have, or how many trips they can take a man on the money they make

 

You need to go out more, I think. 90% of my colleagues have PhDs and some are very hot indeed, with fun personalities to boot. The education and status don't suddenly make someone unattractive - you know that, yes? Those ready made judgements of yours however? :rolleyes:

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And mom is still 80lbs to this day hehe.

 

is that supposed to be a compliment? that's borderline on anorexic.

 

how tall is your mom?

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A woman I can't look at without marveling how pretty she is. I dated a girl in college who would wake up at 5 in the morning, 2 hours earlier than she'd have to wake up to reach our college in time, to work on her hair, her skin care, her make-up, her nails, her clothes, her watch and rings and earings and I never saw her twice with the same outfit.

 

Shoes, she'd spend hundreds on that a month. Clothes, and make-up, and hair products: the same.

 

Seriously?

 

That's obsessive. Looks the only purpose for her to go to college was to find a hubby asap.

 

never wear the cloth twice is a waste of natural resources and human labor...it's very wasteful. I won't do it even if I am super rich. that's just so harmful to the environment. I would consider it a sin.

 

That's not mentally healthy and wholesome behaviour.

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I think this has veered off from the original topic, but.....

 

Competes for a woman? How precisely does that competition take place? Do men duel as the sun is going down for the hand of the lady? I knew guys in college who were dating girls who could've easily have had a better-looking boyfriend but they chose that guy.

 

Video games and beer bongs. If they can get to the highest level in their favorite video game,...who can drink the most from the beer bong without passing out,...they "win" the chick!!.

 

Joking aside. I think the competition is mostly for the less desirable men, particularly the ones with less dating & relationship skills (same for women as well). The more desirable men don't compete. They make the initial approach to women they are attracted to (including the first few dates), and then choose from the women who show return interest. They come from an abundance mindset, they have plenty to choose from. One of my favorite dating coaches is fond of saying, "If a guy knows what he is doing, he doesn't have any competition." (Because so few guys know what they are doing today).

 

In the past when things were more violent men competed for resources, not women. The women would just try to get noticed by putting themselves in the "orbit" of the men who demonstrated their ability to acquire resources. The "chasing" came from the woman's side. But the current "dating culture" just has that screwed up and flipped around.

 

The correct balance is that the men initiate the process by approaching and continue through the first few dates, but then focus only on the women who show return interest. The women then chase the men from that point by their showing return interest and putting themselves within the man's orbit. That is why smart men don't waste their time with women who don't show return interest after they make the initial approach and arrange the first few dates.

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But the difference between these top models, actors, athletes and the average guy/girl on the street is not just down to obesity or poor physical health or fast food is it?

 

IMHO, at least appearance wise, indeed it is.

 

I want to note an exception for athletes. Though their looks may be not that different from the average guy/girl, they also have some combination of developed skill and genetic predisposition that makes them successful athletically. People like Usain Bolt, Michael Phelps, and LeBron James have genetic gifts and have trained extensively to become the 'winners' that they are. Ladies correct me here, but other than their physiques which result in significant part from their rigorous training, I don't see them as 'good-looking' men. (On the other hand I want to have Yelena Isinbayeva's baby :love:).

 

That said of athletes, yes the Scarlett Johansson's of the entertainment world are lovely. But I see plenty of average girls on the street that are, to me, equally attractive and many other average girls who could be if they were conscientious of their weight and otherwise lived a 'healthy lifestyle' (diet, sleep, exercise).

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. The education and status don't suddenly make someone unattractive - you know that, yes? Those ready made judgements of yours however? :rolleyes:

 

 

PhDs and high social status do not make someone unattractive, and in the same vein those economical advantages do not make someone physically attractive on their own.

Although, if the partner they're with isn't as accomplished as they are, it's possible for resentment to be built up over time, and people usually do get married to people from the same social rank, although there are exceptions.

 

 

The sister of an ex-girlfriend of mine was a psychologist and she was married to a tarot reader who didn't even complete high school. He had what she was looking for, and she had what he was looking for, so it worked out well for both of them.

 

 

, I think. 90% of my colleagues have PhDs and some are very hot indeed, with fun personalities to boot
Awesome. But still, the majority of people who are highly educated are not physically attractive, and for the most part when women complain that men are intimidated by their accomplishments, more often than not, the men they want aren't interested in them because they aren't attractive.

 

 

 

 

is that supposed to be a compliment? that's borderline on anorexic.

 

 

I mistyped.

 

My mother is 90lbs. She's always had big breasts, wide hips, a flat stomach, thick legs, and a big butt.

She's as close to being anorexic as Jennifer Lopez is close to being anorexic.

 

 

how tall is your mom?

My mother is 4'10''.

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Yes, she's attractive.

 

 

I've had a huge crush on this woman for years

 

https://www.atelevisao.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/sara-matos.jpg

 

 

I would make so many babies with her, if she deemed me good enough to breed with her, that I would end up having a soccer team for my own.

 

 

 

The more desirable men don't compete.
The more desirable men don't compete because there is no reason to compete. Men have a wide variety of taste in women: Short women, tall women, skinny women, curvy women, overweight women, women with short hair, women with long hair, women with shaved heads and so on and on.

 

The same thing happens with women. Men don't compete for women because there's always going to be women attracted to the guy, because what one woman doesn't like in the guy, another women will love it, and that's beautiful man.

 

And being better-looking than the next guy doesn't mean much. The guy is going to get more initial attention but if he doesn't hold up the girl's interest past what she sees when she looks at him, he's pretty much gone, and it's not that uncommon for the guy to be replaced by a less attractive man, like I've seen it happen many a time.

 

They make the initial approach to women they are attracted to (including the first few dates), and then choose from the women who show return interest. They come from an abundance mindset, they have plenty to choose from.
No. Abundance mentality comes from knowing that if one girl is not attracted to you, it doesn't really matter, because there'll be plenty more who will, and funny enough it can happen that the girl you end up with is more physically attractive than the girl who rejected you, because you didn't make the aesthetics cut or for some other reason.

 

And the guy develops abundance mentality depending on the culture he's living in, the socio-sexual enviroment, and the dating options that the girl has no matter how attractive she is.

 

I was blessed enough to be able of moving to Europe to attend college.

 

 

The very first day of college, I was standing at the cantina completely in awe of how gorgeous this girl was, with her full, thick curly blonde hair, her clear skin and how it glowed like a new-born sun, her smile that was so unnaturally stunning that it made me feel her parents must've hired the same dudes Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise go to, her huge, clear blue eyes and full lips, a nose so adorable in how diminutive it was, and how small and tiny she was at 4'10''.

 

I was in love.

 

And I became more in love when, days after that fateful moment in time, she approached me out of the blue and starts talking to me, and ends up inviting me to go with her to this event her classmates were arranging, and that she had no one to go with.

 

I would have never approached this girl as I felt and I still feel that she was way out of my league, but when your college is 90% women and 10% men and many of those men are either in relationships, some are into men, some are too shy to even look a girl in the eye - some random dude who ain't approaching but ain't afraid of letting know how attracted he is to her by looking like he's a Gold miner in the Californian Gold rush and he's just spotted the biggest gold mine in the world...

 

 

that guy is gonna be looking hella attractive to her.

 

And there were others also as attractive who approached me. Girls who were very pretty, and slim, and well-dressed, but because they happened to be 5'10'' to 6 feet tall, which made them be unattractive in the eyes of many guys, they had no option but to lower their standards in men and to approach the men they wanted to be with.

 

This is what many guys don't understand. To get girls, location is everything. If there are few men around you, and there's a LOT more women than there are men - the only men that don't get lucky are the men that don't want to get lucky.

 

What we find attractive, what we find to be average, what we find to be desireable depends on what we're surrounded by. The majority of these girls that I saw in college and met were tall, slim like a willow tree, very pretty, and feminine, and yet they were dating rather average-looking men. Would they have prefer to be with 22 year old Brad Pitts? Sure. But that ain't happening.

 

One of my favorite dating coaches is fond of saying, "If a guy knows what he is doing, he doesn't have any competition." (Because so few guys know what they are doing today).
Listen, there's no competition to begin with. It has nothing to do with what he knows what he's doing, or how attractive the men he's surrounded by are.

 

I went to class with a guy who was 6'3'' 200lbs at 9% and a face like a young Robert Redford. He had a different hot girl every week, and there was another guy who was 6'6'' at 250lbs+ 9% body who also dated very pretty girls, but that didn't kept the vast majority of the men from getting attractive girlfriends.

 

There are very few men in the world who are attractive. If women were to expect only hot guys, they'd have to buy a hot of hitachi magic wands.

 

Women are horny. Especially young women.

 

 

 

Women want boyfriends and constant access to decent sex, they can't have that with random hook-ups all that much, and they want to spend time with a man. Don't worry about the other men and how attractive they are because that's just gonna make young men develop a complex of inferiority.

 

In the past when things were more violent men competed for resources, not women. The women would just try to get noticed by putting themselves in the "orbit" of the men who demonstrated their ability to acquire resources. The "chasing" came from the woman's side.
Yeah. Tens of thousands of years ago. It doesn't work like that anymore.

 

But the current "dating culture" just has that screwed up and flipped around
How is the dating culture just screwed that up? And what's ''wrong'' with the current dating culture that we have in the western nations?

 

The correct balance is that the men initiate the process by approaching and continue through the first few dates, but then focus only on the women who show return interest.
That process is outdated and archaic.

 

The way they have it in Europe and that I was delighted to witness and experience, is that the man either approaches, or the girl approaches, or they get to know each other because of groups, and then they hang out together in groups, and over time they see if there's chemistry between the both of them. Then he can meet more girls, and date casually until he decides there's a girl he really likes and who really likes him back.

Edited by sabaton
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Awesome. But still, the majority of people who are highly educated are not physically attractive, and for the most part when women complain that men are intimidated by their accomplishments, more often than not, the men they want aren't interested in them because they aren't attractive.

 

 

 

LOL! That's so true. :laugh:

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"Independent and successful" women are the new "nice guys."
:laugh:

 

Seriously, man, you need to stop projecting. YOU and some other guys do not like independent successful women. No problem.

 

There is an entire strata of people having relationships, marriages, families, social circles that consist of independent and successful PEOPLE. Men in my social environment don't complain about a woman having a successful career or being well traveled etc.

 

Personally I have zero interest in women who aren't highly independent. That's a non negotiable quality for me. I probably have little in common with a woman who does not care about education / art / career and works at Carl's Jr. Nothing against them but, not for me.

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I am happily married to an independent and successful woman but she doesn't have an anti male chip on her shoulder while blaming it on being independent and successful. They are indeed the female version of nice guys.

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:laugh:

Seriously, man, you need to stop projecting. YOU and some other guys do not like independent successful women. No problem.

 

Stop BS'ing.

 

Of course it is a problem,...for you. That is why you keep going after all of them/us,...while never really offering anything productive.

 

There is an entire strata of people having relationships, marriages, families, social circles that consist of independent and successful PEOPLE.
Strawman argument.

 

You're misrepresenting your opposition's views, positions, and conclusions.

 

Personally I have zero interest in women who aren't highly independent. That's a non negotiable quality for me. I probably have little in common with a woman who does not care about education / art / career and works at Carl's Jr. Nothing against them but, not for me.
BS again.

 

Yes you do have something against them. You keep ranting about it all the time. I don't really care if you have a problem with "common people", just be honest and admit you do. Stop virtue signalling.

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