True or false: Men prefer average women because less work and competition?

[PRW]

....women who call themselves independent and successful, and say that men don't date them for those qualities, are delusional. Just like the so-called "nice guys" that proclaim women only date douchebags. They're people that refuse to think from the perspective of others and are incapable of finding fault in themselves.

Great comparison.

[alphamale]

If we only take looks into account (not personality which to me is 50% of someone's beauty), beautiful people date beautiful people, average date average.

 

I don't know...I've seen numerous couples where the man is good looking but his wife/gf is average at best. Lots of skinny guys with obese women. You never know what attracts two people to each other. But yes, most couples are evenly matched in the looks department.

[PRW]

Lots of skinny guys with obese women.

 

 

As far as that one, you might find this to be an interesting explanation.

 

 

[NuevoYorko]

successful, and say that men don't date them for those qualities, are delusional. Just like the so-called "nice guys" that proclaim women only date douchebags. They're people that refuse to think from the perspective of others and are incapable of finding fault in themselves.

 

OK, fair enough. I'm with you there.

 

This thread has a lot of perspective from men who openly do not like women who have good careers, a house, travel etc. That's what has me SMH. Sorry to mistakenly lump you in that group.

[Timshel]

OK, fair enough. I'm with you there.

 

This thread has a lot of perspective from men who openly do not like women who have good careers, a house, travel etc. That's what has me SMH. Sorry to mistakenly lump you in that group.

 

 

My takeaway from reading the posts of men in this thread is that attitude and physical attraction are the barometer for dating a particular woman.

 

 

 

Education, career, travel and worldly possessions are not relevant and are arbitrary.

[NuevoYorko]

Strawman argument.

 

You're misrepresenting your opposition's views, positions, and conclusions.

 

Calm down, son. I'm not representing or misrepresenting anything except myself; "strawman arguement" does not apply to opinions, this is not a debate, nobody's the "opposition."

 

I have an opinion about this attitude:

 

 

Climbing the "corporate ladder" would definitely make me run the other way.

"Traveling the world" would be a negative,...if nothing else it would say "excessively independent".

Owning you own home can be a negative,...it gets in the way. If you get married then something has to be done with it and selling it is a problem if you haven't built enough equity,...it also means "debt".

In the end men want to go where they are needed,...clearly they are not needed by you.

 

Perhaps I have misunderstood you. If you dislike corporate culture in general, hate to travel and are a minimalist or aesthete of some kind who eschews property ownership, certainly a woman who shares those values would be the best match for you. If you think it's ok for men to climb corporate ladders etc. etc. etc. but not women - that's where I disagree heartily.

 

I am a man, I do not share your criteria. You are entitled to it. I have women in my life including a young adult daughter and they do not function within the parameters of your criteria. Thank God, none of them believed that fulfilling their own visions for their lives would impede them from pairing up with men.

It hasn't. People often tend to be drawn to others who share values.

 

Also, "virtue signalling"? That's a first for me. Is that a "manosphere"

slogan?

[PRW]

This thread has a lot of perspective from men who openly do not like women who have good careers, a house, travel etc. That's what has me SMH.

 

That is a mis-characterization. "Like" and "date" are two different things.

I like all kinds of women,...that I won't date.

 

Every woman I have ever dated had a career, a house, and "left the yard" from time to time. It is a matter of degrees. There is also a particular type of career woman that we are talking about here. Enigma32 that you just agreed with did a great job of specifying the type of women that many of us won't date. It is not every woman that has a career, a house, and has traveled anywhere that we are saying we won't date.

[jay1983]

I don't understand why this is discussed so thoroughly. It's not like a whole lot of women wanna date men who make less and/or are less educated. You can look on match and see if you have doubts. Only a small minority are forgiving in regards.

 

"Men are intimidated by my success "

 

I'm sure some are, I don't know what a pie chart would look like. I ask is this only coming from the few high earning, college educated women who don't have these prerequisites for their potential suitor?

[nospam99]

This thread has a lot of perspective from men who openly do not like women who have good careers, a house, travel etc. That's what has me SMH. Sorry to mistakenly lump you in that group.

 

Context: 64 y/o guy, separated for over a decade, formally divorced for 18 months, 'seeking' (almost exclusively on OLD) for a little over a year.

 

I'm using match.com as my example because that site allows specification of careers and income in profiles. I see the profiles of many women I'd be interested in meeting and, if we liked each other, dating. Many of those women specify their employment, their income, and the income of the man they're 'looking for'. I don't care if women have good careers, a house, etc. I'm interested in enjoying their company and finding an LTR. However most of those who use the income specification 'say' that they would not be interested in me because my income is not 'up to their standards' (the top two income categories wherein lie many of these women are $100k-$150k and $150k+). So from my observation, it is not the success of the women that is offputting, rather the desire (requirement?) that those successful women have to have relationships with equally or more successful men. LOL I'm not Larry Fortensky, but if other factors were favorable I'd be happy to date Liz Taylor.

[PRW]

I'm using match.com as my example because that site allows specification of careers and income in profiles. I see the profiles of many women I'd be interested in meeting and, if we liked each other, dating. Many of those women specify their employment, their income, and the income of the man they're 'looking for'. I don't care if women have good careers, a house, etc. I'm interested in enjoying their company and finding an LTR. However most of those who use the income specification 'say' that they would not be interested in me because my income is not 'up to their standards' (the top two income categories wherein lie many of these women are $100k-$150k and $150k+). So from my observation, it is not the success of the women that is offputting, rather the desire (requirement?) that those successful women have to have relationships with equally or more successful men.

 

Well said.

The term you might be looking for is Hypergamy.

[CollinW]

As a man who have dated highly sought after women when my personal smv was both high and average, a lot of men idolize perfect women without knowing what goes into it. As they say for every perfect 10 there is a man who's tired of her ****.

 

The key to dating anyone man or woman who has high smv is to have self esteem and be willing to walk away if the situation call for it. A lot of people don't have the esteem and let them walk over them.

[Timshel]

I don't understand why this is discussed so thoroughly. It's not like a whole lot of women wanna date men who make less and/or are less educated. You can look on match and see if you have doubts. Only a small minority are forgiving in regards.

 

"Men are intimidated by my success "

 

I'm sure some are, I don't know what a pie chart would look like. I ask is this only coming from the few high earning, college educated women who don't have these prerequisites for their potential suitor?

 

 

Exactly. I like the way it is put succinctly by some men, that it does indeed boil down to compatibility and attraction. Women will choose mates exactly the same.

 

 

It seems dating is analyzed and picked apart to an extent that as Woggle said, a cold war ensues. At the end of it, when a person turns a head and leads to love, all the spectrum's and lists fall away. People fall in love.

 

 

 

Patience and living a genuine life will take any person very far where dating and mating is concerned.

[SevenCity]

True story. The super hot girl was crazy as crazy can be, which lead to our breakup, but as far as I know, she was faithful. And she had guys coming out of the woodwork like moths to a flame tryin to be with her. Constantly.

 

I’ve learned to look at it like this: will a rich guy pocket a $20 bill someone dropped as quickly as a broke guy will or will he give it back?

 

The rich guy (I.e.: hot girl) doesn’t need money because they have access to money (options).

 

A hot girl knows how quickly her next opportunity can be had which builds confidence. Average girls can often be insecure which can lead to cheating because your “fix” is no longer sufficient.

 

That’s not to say all average women cheat or all hot girls are faithful, but it explains a possible reason.

 

I used to think an average slightly insecure girl would never cheat, I have now adjusted that belief.

 

To the OP, I do find the hotter a woman is the more headaches, entitlement, and hypergamy she will have. Also, they tend to work a lot less at pleasing you emotionally or sexually. Personally I have had better relationships with average rather than hot women.

 

And “hot” is defined by their options. So yes, this can happen to average women as well. Reference the “Kid in a candy store” analogy from PRW.

[SevenCity]

Context: 64 y/o guy, separated for over a decade, formally divorced for 18 months, 'seeking' (almost exclusively on OLD) for a little over a year.

 

I'm using match.com as my example because that site allows specification of careers and income in profiles. I see the profiles of many women I'd be interested in meeting and, if we liked each other, dating. Many of those women specify their employment, their income, and the income of the man they're 'looking for'. I don't care if women have good careers, a house, etc. I'm interested in enjoying their company and finding an LTR. However most of those who use the income specification 'say' that they would not be interested in me because my income is not 'up to their standards' (the top two income categories wherein lie many of these women are $100k-$150k and $150k+). So from my observation, it is not the success of the women that is offputting, rather the desire (requirement?) that those successful women have to have relationships with equally or more successful men. LOL I'm not Larry Fortensky, but if other factors were favorable I'd be happy to date Liz Taylor.

 

What really turned me off from Match, were the plethora of women demanding $100k+ salaries from men, when they themselves were making $30k-$50k.

 

That’s hypergamy with no pretense.

[littleblackheart]

But still, the majority of people who are highly educated are not physically attractive

 

How do you know this?? I can't wrap my head around how easy it is for you to make those sweeping statements. i think your problem is that you believe your opinion to be a fact. Maybe you don't know many highly educated people?

 

 

OP, please don't take some of the replies to this thread implying anything about your physical attraction seriously. They don't know you, they're simply making assumptions based on nothing.

 

A man worth considering will want the whole package, and will not for a second consider the 'competition' or not putting in enough effort.

 

I don't know one relationship-minded man in real life who cares only about 'niceness' and 'hotness' in a long-term partner. On the other hand, I know a handful of highly educated women who earn more than their husbands, and no one cares; some men decide to be SAHPs or work part-time and get more involved in their kids' lives while their wives get to be the breadwinners. They are not isolated cases at all, they're almost standard where I live.

 

ETA: My experiences are strictly based on real life, not on dating websites or people having unrealistic and / or outlandish prerequisites.

Edited October 25, 2018 by littleblackheart

[Springsummer]

 

I mistyped.

 

My mother is 90lbs. She's always had big breasts, wide hips, a flat stomach, thick legs, and a big butt.

She's as close to being anorexic as Jennifer Lopez is close to being anorexic.

 

 

 

My mother is 4'10''.

 

I thought I am a shortie at 5'2"...and have short legs...can't imagine at 4'10"...do men have a thing for super short women???

 

and I am 120lb and suppose to be considered slim.

Edited October 25, 2018 by Springsummer

[Chilli]

Exactly. I like the way it is put succinctly by some men, that it does indeed boil down to compatibility and attraction. Women will choose mates exactly the same.

 

 

It seems dating is analyzed and picked apart to an extent that as Woggle said, a cold war ensues. At the end of it, when a person turns a head and leads to love, all the spectrum's and lists fall away. People fall in love.

 

 

Yep , it's all the craziest shyt l ever saw all this internet bs , well it is here anyway.

l hold back banging on about 99% of the bs l read just scratching my head.

Poor lost souls is all l can say if they take any notice of any of it.

Edited October 25, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fix quote and spacing

[Chilli]

What really turned me off from Match, were the plethora of women demanding $100k+ salaries from men, when they themselves were making $30k-$50k.

 

That’s hypergamy with no pretense.

 

 

Haaa, letem dream, all she'd get from me is an INSTANT adios, next, pretty sure that'd be from any guy with half a brain.

Just bc they're on those places saying stuff like that doesn't mean any guy is even going near them, l don't know a guy that would touch someone with attitudes like that.

Other than desperate's and l don't know anyone that desperate.

Edited October 25, 2018 by Chilli

[Springsummer]

What really turned me off from Match, were the plethora of women demanding $100k+ salaries from men, when they themselves were making $30k-$50k.

 

That’s hypergamy with no pretense.

 

wow.....where do you live? the women there must be in high demand.

 

I don't think any sane woman will have such requirement in my city...except if she is very good looking and young.

 

I am content if the guy makes the same as me. but of course I have other criteria that is hard to find a guy that meets.

 

Gotta try match.com...

Edited October 25, 2018 by Springsummer

[SevenCity]

wow.....where do you live? the women there must be in high demand.

 

I don't think any sane woman will have such requirement in my city...except if she is very good looking and young.

 

I am content if the guy makes the same as me. but of course I have other criteria that is hard to find a guy that meets.

 

Gotta try match.com...

 

This was in the NYC area.

[Artdeco]

This was in the NYC area.

 

Did any woman actually specifically say that in her profile?

As far as I know you can filter potential guys buy income, but they would not know what your filter settings are, or?

[thefooloftheyear]

Did any woman actually specifically say that in her profile?

As far as I know you can filter potential guys buy income, but they would not know what your filter settings are, or?

 

 

100K around here (NYC area) wont go very far...Unless you go out to the FAR suburbs or the crime ridden slum/urban areas...So its not that much of a requirement, really...

 

But then I would think there has to be an age where what someone else makes should have no bearing on their desirability.. If you aren't building a family life, kids, houses and all that, and make enough to meet your own needs and not be a sponge off the other person, then who cares, really??

 

TFY

[Shining One]

Did any woman actually specifically say that in her profile?

As far as I know you can filter potential guys buy income, but they would not know what your filter settings are, or?

The last section of the profile is the "What she's looking for" section. In that section, you can see her income requirements, provided she fills it in.

 

While it wasn't prolific, it wasn't exactly uncommon for me to see women's profiles with income requirements higher than what they made themselves. This was in south Florida. The most common examples involved women making under $35K looking for $100K+ men.

[brigit87]

The last section of the profile is the "What she's looking for" section. In that section, you can see her income requirements, provided she fills it in.

 

While it wasn't prolific, it wasn't exactly uncommon for me to see women's profiles with income requirements higher than what they made themselves. This was in south Florida. The most common examples involved women making under $35K looking for $100K+ men.

 

I don't know why they would fill it in. That's stupid. For the most part women do like it when men make more than them and I find it weird when they don't. But then again I'm kinda old so there's that.

[jay1983]

Did any woman actually specifically say that in her profile?

As far as I know you can filter potential guys buy income, but they would not know what your filter settings are, or?

 

I read this as a question of whether or not someone would know if they themselves are filtered out?

 

I can still view the profile of someone even if I fall out of their spectrum. Not sure whether or not a message would get through if I were to send one.