Jealous mother?

[dfenn0321]

First off, I can't believe I am even questioning if my own mother is jealous of me. This is something I have been dealing with for the past year and a half or so.

 

 

My mom had me when she was 16. She sacrificed so much just to keep me. She wasn't always the best mother in the decisions she made, but if there is one thing I always knew it was that my mom loved me. We were close as I was growing up. We were close when I had my first born, and my youngest. She was such a good mom and grandmother.

 

 

After my mom went through her divorce about 3-4 years ago, she changed. I still have a 16 year old sister living at home, who basically has no parents. My mom is too focused on living her life now. I introduced my mother to one of my closest friends (same age) and I tried for a year to get them to meet. When they finally did, it was game over. So much to the point where he just asked my mom to marry her last weekend.

 

 

Here is the weird part. Anytime we hang out, my mom and I end up arguing. She picks at me and will say things to make me look stupid in front of MY friends. She doesn't like me and her now fiancé hanging out, even though he is one of my best friends. A couple of weekends ago I was reminiscing and said "Hey(her fiancé) remember that one time you me, John, and Sally (fake names) went to....." My mom followed up with "Yeah.....remember when" in a jealous whiney voice. I was appalled. I couldn't believe it. A few weeks before that, we had gone to dinner with my little sister as my mom was in a training. My mom came home and freaked out.

 

 

She doesn't talk to me anymore. I used to be able to call her with anything. She used to be my go to. Now, if I have a problem it's "I just can't deal with this Deb. I can't hear it."

 

 

I could go on, but it's too hurtful. I feel like I am grieving the loss of a parent. I already don't have a father. I don't know who my mom is anymore. She will also make comments on my parenting skills.....all while she is basically abandoning my little sister all the time so that she can "get away.....get out of the house." which is every weekend.

 

 

Any advice? Any input? I have tried to talk to her but she is in denial and gets pissed. I offered for us to have dinner and talk but she turned it down.

[Mr. Lucky]

I introduced my mother to one of my closest friends (same age) and I tried for a year to get them to meet. When they finally did, it was game over. So much to the point where he just asked my mom to marry her last weekend.

 

This "closest friend/fiancee" is the same age as you or your mom?

 

I'd guess it makes a difference in the dynamic between the three of you...

 

Mr. Lucky

[dfenn0321]

This "closest friend/fiancee" is the same age as you or your mom?

 

I'd guess it makes a difference in the dynamic between the three of you...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

 

 

 

 

He is the same age as my mother. When him and I became close friends, it was more of a father figure. I don't have a dad. I was able to lean on him for a lot of things. He has been a shoulder to cry on, and a confidant.

[Gaeta]

He is the same age as my mother. When him and I became close friends, it was more of a father figure. I don't have a dad. I was able to lean on him for a lot of things. He has been a shoulder to cry on, and a confidant.

 

She knows she's in the wrong that's why she doesn't want to meet and discuss it. There isn't much you can do, more you try more it will damage what's left of the relationship. Your mom is going through a phase, she'll come out of it but for now she's a woman in love and she is blind. Can you involve your little sister a bit more in your life? She's the big loser in this. Your mom has her boyfriend, you have your bf and your kids, your sister is the one left alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

Edited October 18, 2018 by Gaeta

[Mr. Lucky]

He is the same age as my mother. When him and I became close friends, it was more of a father figure. I don't have a dad. I was able to lean on him for a lot of things. He has been a shoulder to cry on, and a confidant.

 

That explains it. I think mom does indeed see you as competition, if not romantically, at least emotionally.

 

Pretty needy and insecure on her part, but I'd guess I'm not telling you something you didn't already know about her...

 

Mr. Lucky

[dfenn0321]

She knows she's in the wrong that's why she doesn't want to meet and discuss it. There isn't much you can do, more you try more it will damage what's left of the relationship. Your mom is going through a phase, she'll come out of it but for now she's a woman in love and she is blind. Can you involve your little sister a bit more in your life? She's the big loser in this. Your mom has her boyfriend, you have your bf and your kids, your sister is the one left alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

My other siblings and I are definitely there for my baby sis! Us siblings are pretty close with each other. I'm hoping that this is just a phase for my mom. It just hurts!