Maybe getting back together maybe not

[liz123]

Hi,

About 2 weeks ago my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me. We had issues with me not giving him enough space and he was feeling as if I didn't love him because I would promise to do better and never did. That was my first serious relationship and I regret not working harder at listening to his needs.

 

After not talking for the week after, we met up and talked in person. I talked about how apologetic I was and how wrong I realized I was. I told him about how I am working on my issues. And then we talked like normal and had fun together. He told me he was miserable the week before and was actually smiling and laughing when with me. Eventually, he just pulled me into his arms and talked about how much he missed me. He told me to go to his house and then we cuddled and a few other things (big mistake). He said my apology was perfect and that he just needed a little more time to think but it was looking good. I agreed and we said we'd meet up a few days later.

 

Fast forward a few days to the day before we're supposed to meet and he has become unsure of what he wants again. He became distant again and only talks about how he is miserable trying to make a decision of being together or not. We ended up not meeting up. This has made me super confused and full of doubt. I really got my hopes up after talking and now I feel terrible again. I know I just need to be patient and focus on myself but its so hard to do when its so back and forth.

 

I really want to be with this man, I just don't know what to do at this point.

Edited October 18, 2018 by liz123

[Felt Better]

Hi,

About 2 weeks ago my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me. We had issues with me not giving him enough space and he was feeling as if I didn't love him because I would promise to do better and never did. That was my first serious relationship and I regret not working harder at listening to his needs.

 

After not talking for the week after, we met up and talked in person. I talked about how apologetic I was and how wrong I realized I was. I told him about how I am working on my issues. And then we talked like normal and had fun together. He told me he was miserable the week before and was actually smiling and laughing when with me. Eventually, he just pulled me into his arms and talked about how much he missed me. He told me to go to his house and then we cuddled and a few other things (big mistake). He said my apology was perfect and that he just needed a little more time to think but it was looking good. I agreed and we said we'd meet up a few days later.

 

Fast forward a few days to the day before we're supposed to meet and he has become unsure of what he wants again. He became distant again and only talks about how he is miserable trying to make a decision of being together or not. We ended up not meeting up. This has made me super confused and full of doubt. I really got my hopes up after talking and now I feel terrible again. I know I just need to be patient and focus on myself but its so hard to do when its so back and forth.

 

I really want to be with this man, I just don't know what to do at this point.

 

 

I would cut him off for a few weeks. You don't want to be the one making all the effort all of the time.

[Million.to.1]

Don't wait around for someone who is having trouble deciding if they want to be with you or not.

 

He was feeling lonely and you met up, he felt better, but the underlying issues have not been resolved. Not really. I know you said you were apologetic and what-not, but that doesn't really mean you are not going to fall into the same pattern again if you got back together. He wanted space. Give it to him. Go N/C, and give yourself the space to meet someone who knows they want to be with you.

[loststarsx]

Chin up. From here on out, try not to beg. It hurts like hell, but look around the forums. Don't take breadcrumbs. Show him you can live without him. As the days go by, I realize that the threads posted here have so much valuable truth. Having strangers set you straight is truly quite painful, but also humbling. I don't know you, but I know that if you work on yourself and try to conquer this, you will be ok in the long run.