Did this co-worker take advantage of me? Or just lazy?

[Dodgersfan11]

Awhile back, this co-worker who sat right beside me- would always ask me what her schedule was, we start at 7am, she would always arrive like 3 minutes after 7am, technically 3 minutes late. Like every day she asked me what kind of task she is scheduled in. Well, maybe if she got there early like 15 minutes early, she would have time to log into her computer and pull up her email. I always arrive to work at least 20 minutes early to get settled in and to get logged into the computer. I don't have a problem helping out a coworker, but if shes just being lazy and getting coming late on purpose then I have a problem with that. Also, she would constantly ask me for some "Tylenol" which I would give her some, but it got to the point that she was constantly asking. Now, there are a few people in the office that do give out some advil or tylenol when needed but they don't give it out on a regular basis to the same person. She should get the hint to go to the store and buy some advil, she worked alot of overtime so I'm sure she can afford to buy a $10 bottle of tylenol. Its not MY job to tell this person their schedule or to give out pain pills. Am I just being a beotch or is this co-worker lazy?

[Mr. Lucky]

Am I just being a beotch or is this co-worker lazy?

 

Depends. Is there any give back, she ever do anything for you? I've had symbiotic relationships with co-workers where we divided some of the more mundane tasks. I'd either suggest that to her or tell her in a nice way you're doing your own thing. If she asks you about her task, simply tell her you're checking something else...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Dodgersfan11]

Well, she did small things for me...so maybe I'm just not much of a giver, however I don't like doing favors for people or else they will just use me. I remember I was nice enough to give a ride to this middle age coworker, she thanked me and what not, but I could tell she was just using me because at work she would make some catty remarks about me in front of people, which I thought it was rude. One time, she came to me and said if she couldn't find some other gal at work to take her home she was coming back to me so that I could take her home. I was like WTF? First off, its not like she lived alone and didn't have anyone, she had GROWN daughters living with her, her own family could give her rides!

[BaileyB]

Awhile back, this co-worker who sat right beside me- would always ask me what her schedule was, we start at 7am, she would always arrive like 3 minutes after 7am, technically 3 minutes late. Like every day she asked me what kind of task she is scheduled in. Well, maybe if she got there early like 15 minutes early, she would have time to log into her computer and pull up her email. I always arrive to work at least 20 minutes early to get settled in and to get logged into the computer. I don't have a problem helping out a coworker, but if shes just being lazy and getting coming late on purpose then I have a problem with that. Also, she would constantly ask me for some "Tylenol" which I would give her some, but it got to the point that she was constantly asking. Now, there are a few people in the office that do give out some advil or tylenol when needed but they don't give it out on a regular basis to the same person. She should get the hint to go to the store and buy some advil, she worked alot of overtime so I'm sure she can afford to buy a $10 bottle of tylenol. Its not MY job to tell this person their schedule or to give out pain pills. Am I just being a beotch or is this co-worker lazy?

 

First things first, it's not your responsibility to patrol the time your coworker's start work. I have a coworker who does this - it's judgmental, inappropriate, and it creates resentment between coworker's.

 

As for the Tylenol, if she is always asking and you don't want to lend her Tylenol, tell her that you don't have any Tylenol at your desk or in your purse.

 

You just simply can't get so bent out of shape over such small and mundane things that have nothing to do with you...

[BaileyB]

Well, she did small things for me...so maybe I'm just not much of a giver, however I don't like doing favors for people or else they will just use me. I remember I was nice enough to give a ride to this middle age coworker, she thanked me and what not, but I could tell she was just using me because at work she would make some catty remarks about me in front of people, which I thought it was rude. One time, she came to me and said if she couldn't find some other gal at work to take her home she was coming back to me so that I could take her home. I was like WTF? First off, its not like she lived alone and didn't have anyone, she had GROWN daughters living with her, her own family could give her rides!

 

Why do you assume that her GROWN daughters should give her rides to and from work. Perhaps, they are busy with school, work, or raising children...

 

I would never assume that a coworker should rely on their family members to help them get to and from work. If you are driving in the same direction, it only makes sense to arrange some kind of carpool.

 

Now, if someone was asking all the time and not providing money for gas, or coming to me only if someone else was not available... I would have more of a problem with that... But still, I would politely refuse or tell this individual that I have some errands to run after work... They would get the message and I wouldn't get all worked up about it.

 

The world is a better place when people are kind. True kindness is doing a favor for someone, with no expectation of anything in return. But, if you find that you are being "used," there are ways to change the situation/avoid that individual without causing resentment and upset.

[SunnyWeather]

Awhile back, this co-worker who sat right beside me- would always ask me what her schedule was, we start at 7am, she would always arrive like 3 minutes after 7am, technically 3 minutes late. Like every day she asked me what kind of task she is scheduled in. Well, maybe if she got there early like 15 minutes early, she would have time to log into her computer and pull up her email. I always arrive to work at least 20 minutes early to get settled in and to get logged into the computer. I don't have a problem helping out a coworker, but if shes just being lazy and getting coming late on purpose then I have a problem with that. Also, she would constantly ask me for some "Tylenol" which I would give her some, but it got to the point that she was constantly asking. Now, there are a few people in the office that do give out some advil or tylenol when needed but they don't give it out on a regular basis to the same person. She should get the hint to go to the store and buy some advil, she worked alot of overtime so I'm sure she can afford to buy a $10 bottle of tylenol. Its not MY job to tell this person their schedule or to give out pain pills. Am I just being a beotch or is this co-worker lazy?

 

How about you focus on yourself and stop fretting over what a coworker does with her time? I bet your mind could be put to better use. The fact that you notice she's 3 mins late is weird. Just because YOU get to work early doesn't mean everyone should.

 

And, if you don't want to give her asprin, then don't

[preraph]

Tell her you don't have any Tylenol. Simple. Keep it in your purse. Problem solved.

 

She comes in and starts bugging you first thing, hold up your hand and say, "I'm right in the middle of something." There's no reason why you can't just flat out tell her, Look it up. That's what I have to do. If I was going to say that to her, I would say it using her name "Donna, why do you ask me that every morning? Look it up like everyone else," and say it where others hear so she's kind of busted on it. Do NOT lecture her about she should come in early. 3 minutes late is nothing. But make it clear you don't want to be bothered with this stuff.

[Dodgersfan11]

How about you focus on yourself and stop fretting over what a coworker does with her time? I bet your mind could be put to better use. The fact that you notice she's 3 mins late is weird. Just because YOU get to work early doesn't mean everyone should.

 

And, if you don't want to give her asprin, then don't

 

I think its important to make it to work on time, its a JOB. So, everyone is entitled to go arrive to work 5-15 minutes late? I think if I made a thread on here that said, "I GOT FIRED BECAUSE I WAS 10 MINUTES TO WORK EVERY DAY, WERE THEY RIGHT OR WRONG?" I'm pretty sure there would be like 30 posts on here saying that I should have gotten my butt to work on time, and that I'm not some VIP Executive where I could come in anytime I wanted.

[Dodgersfan11]

Well, the next time anyone asks anything, I'll say no. Case solved. I don't owe nobody anything.

[basil67]

Well, the next time anyone asks anything, I'll say no. Case solved. I don't owe nobody anything.

 

And if you want a life with no friends and people around who don't like you, then this is the way to do it.

 

Is this really what you want for yourself?

[basil67]

I think its important to make it to work on time, its a JOB. So, everyone is entitled to go arrive to work 5-15 minutes late? I think if I made a thread on here that said, "I GOT FIRED BECAUSE I WAS 10 MINUTES TO WORK EVERY DAY, WERE THEY RIGHT OR WRONG?" I'm pretty sure there would be like 30 posts on here saying that I should have gotten my butt to work on time, and that I'm not some VIP Executive where I could come in anytime I wanted.

 

If you got fired because a coworker complained that you are regularly 3 mins late, I'd tell you that your coworker was being super uptight.

[Dodgersfan11]

Well, its true, nobody owes nobody anything, there are posts that say this on here.

[Dodgersfan11]

If you got fired because a coworker complained that you are regularly 3 mins late, I'd tell you that your coworker was being super uptight.

 

Just an FYI, I was 15 minutes late to my specialist appointment and do you wanna know what the receptionist did? They cancelled my appointment all because I was late. She told me my doctor couldn't see me/ nor squeeze me in anytime later during the day because I was late. Was my doctor being uptight? I probably should have complained to the board of medicine because she was being uptight by me being late and her turning me down because of it.

[BaileyB]

Just an FYI, I was 15 minutes late to my specialist appointment and do you wanna know what the receptionist did? They cancelled my appointment all because I was late. She told me my doctor couldn't see me/ nor squeeze me in anytime later during the day because I was late. Was my doctor being uptight? I probably should have complained to the board of medicine because she was being uptight by me being late and her turning me down because of it.

 

You are right. The medical model sucks! There is a lot of room for compassion in the medical system sometimes...

 

Doesn't change the fact that you were fifteen minutes late for a doctors appointment, where you know the schedule is tight and usually unforgiving, which was disrespectful of their time and unless you had a forgiving receptionist... had a pretty predictable outcome.

[BaileyB]

I think its important to make it to work on time, its a JOB. So, everyone is entitled to go arrive to work 5-15 minutes late? I think if I made a thread on here that said, "I GOT FIRED BECAUSE I WAS 10 MINUTES TO WORK EVERY DAY, WERE THEY RIGHT OR WRONG?" I'm pretty sure there would be like 30 posts on here saying that I should have gotten my butt to work on time, and that I'm not some VIP Executive where I could come in anytime I wanted.

 

Perhaps there would be posts saying that you should have gotten your butt to work on time... and they would not be wrong.

 

What we are saying to you - what gives you the right to pass judgment on what time your coworker's come into the office? Seriously, who died in your office and made you the boss?

 

Unless you are the boss and you are responsible for assessing the performance of others, don't worry about it. Take care of yourself. Let the rest of it go.

Edited October 21, 2018 by BaileyB

[Banker Chick]

I get it because I'm the type of employee that tries hard to not take advantage of my employer so it drives me crazy when others do. I've had to work to let that go & not be a clock watcher. It's not my business as I'm not their manager & maybe they've worked out coming in later or they stay late or whatever. Just tell her one of these mornings that she'll need to boot up her computer & find out for herself. As for the Tylenol or rides, just tell her you can't. I learned a long time ago if someone didn't feel bad asking me to do something that was clearly taking advantage, then I wasn't going to feel bad saying no.

[preraph]

Just an FYI, I was 15 minutes late to my specialist appointment and do you wanna know what the receptionist did? They cancelled my appointment all because I was late. She told me my doctor couldn't see me/ nor squeeze me in anytime later during the day because I was late. Was my doctor being uptight? I probably should have complained to the board of medicine because she was being uptight by me being late and her turning me down because of it.

 

3 minutes late is nothing. 15 minutes late, you should call in and let them know you're late. And 15 minutes is about the limit if it happens regularly. Most places have a 10-minute leeway, but not all. But you can't compare her 3 minutes late to you being fired for being 15 minutes late regularly or losing an appointment.

[basil67]

Just an FYI, I was 15 minutes late to my specialist appointment and do you wanna know what the receptionist did? They cancelled my appointment all because I was late. She told me my doctor couldn't see me/ nor squeeze me in anytime later during the day because I was late. Was my doctor being uptight? I probably should have complained to the board of medicine because she was being uptight by me being late and her turning me down because of it.

 

You're comparing apples to oranges. Had she held the appointment for you, it would have made the rest of the day run late and hold up EVERY SINGLE PERSON after you. And yes, they still need to charge because it wasn't their fault you run late. This cannot be compared to a co-worker who runs a paltry 3 mins late. Besides, as someone else said if it bothers the boss, they will deal with it. It's not your problem.

[basil67]

Well, its true, nobody owes nobody anything, there are posts that say this on here.

 

Of course there are posts which say that here. LS has just as many bitter and twisted posters as it does caring and sharing posters.

 

But yes, you are right - nobody owes anyone anything. And that includes choosing to not date or befriend a person who gives nothing to anyone. To refuse to assist anyone who needs anything reflects incredibly poorly on you. If this was the MO of someone I was interested in dating or being friends with, my interest in them would fail immediately.

[basil67]

Thinking further on the Dr appt analogy. On another thread, you left a meetup because they ran 15 mins late. On this thread, you're complaining about a coworker who's constantly 3 mins late. I would lay money that if a Dr held the appointment for a late patient and that made you run 15 mins late, you'd be furious with having been inconvenienced.