johnwickph Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 (edited) Hi guys i badly need some advice. My gf broke up with me almost a month from now. Weve been together for 8 years. Our break up ended so nasty, we said hurtful words together. Usually, everytime we fight it only took us a week or hours for us to get back together. But in this case, Its taking too long, I think im still on the verge of denial that we still have US. I did not contact and beg her to come back to me because i think shes better off without me. Her love is unconditional but i wasn't able to repay it. But.. There's a part of me that still wants her back. I cant explain it, i have mixed emotions. Although it will hurt me a lot to see her with someone someday, im glad that shes happy. But STILL it will rip my heart a lot. i make myself busy a lot so that i can forget her and move on. But that's not helping, our memories keep flashing in my mind when im alone and its making me totally depressed. She still has our pictures on Fb and instagram cause im frequently looking at it and im confused with it. What do you mean by that?? I keep on thinking that i hope that we could be together again but if not, I hope we can be friends so that we can keep in touch. Is that possible? Its my first serious break up. We have already made plan for our future and that's killing me inside knowing that its already impossible. I need your advice guys. :( Edited October 19, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 Welcome to LS.... I did not contact and beg her to come back to me because i think shes better off without meSounds healthy. Continue your healing, scrub the social media stuff and spend time with friends and family for socializing. An eight year relationship is a long time; expect the grief period to go on for quite sometime. If you've had periodic fights/breakups, that indicates there was a fundamental break in the foundation of the relationship. Healthy couples often disagree but they don't routinely break up over disagreements. You won't be able to be friends, at least not until you can experience her kissing another man and not feel anything emotional. Fuggetabout that, for now anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 I need your advice guys. :( Eight years is a long time... Have you thought about relocating?? It might be a good time to "pull up stakes" and try some place new and unique. In my youth, I always got excited about a "fresh start" in a new city/town. You leave your past, you leave your problems and you leave those difficult memories behind when you relocate. Places that remind you of your ex are left behind... its a brand new adventure in a brand new place. Go find it!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnwickph Posted October 19, 2018 Author Share Posted October 19, 2018 Welcome to LS.... Healthy couples often disagree but they don't routinely break up over disagreements. so i thought it is just normal that sometimes that there is a break up in every relationship and starting all over again.obviously,our fights kept going round in circles. Sounds healthy. Continue your healing, scrub the social media stuff and spend time with friends and family for socializing. thats what i am doing right now avoiding social media so that i will not be tempted to be keep checking on her. btw, we're no longer friends in facebook but still i have this urge to look at her fb just to see if how shes doing without me. i dont understand why she still has our pics, i dont know if im just assuming that there still that spark? thats why its hard to let go at this moment.. yeah, it hurts to see that someday she will meet someone but i hope that there'll come a time that we can be friends. i just dont know what to do without her because we know already each other's families. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johnwickph Posted October 19, 2018 Author Share Posted October 19, 2018 Eight years is a long time... Have you thought about relocating?? It might be a good time to "pull up stakes" and try some place new and unique. In my youth, I always got excited about a "fresh start" in a new city/town. You leave your past, you leave your problems and you leave those difficult memories behind when you relocate. Places that remind you of your ex are left behind... its a brand new adventure in a brand new place. Go find it!! yes, im thinking also about that.new places , new experience. Im trying to go to other places where we dont have mutual friends so that it will help me to heal faster. actually, we are in a long distance relationship for almost 3 years now. so we just broke up through FB. im making myself busy trying new stuffs. but how will you deal with it, if all of a sudden the memories will start playing in your mind. its just deepen the wounds everytime i think of it. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 One tool is to accept we're all human, mortal, imperfect, make mistakes and let the past go in the emotional sense. I learned that tool in MC. It helped to cease dwelling on the minutiae of the past. Worked great for adult stuff. Variable for the red tapes from peer integration. Still a work in progress. Once you get through this, my bet is future iterations will be easier. You'll know your responses and the path, recognize stuff and process it out. Link to post Share on other sites
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