Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Share Posted February 8, 2019 (edited) LilKat the reason I thought you might be entertaining the idea that he was telling her about you was this statement you made above. "If it’s deliberate then they are having a discussion that should have happened ages ago." Did you mean something else by that? I don't know what she may have seen or heard in which case who knows what they're discussing. It's the not knowing that's nerve wracking. 5.5 hours so far of waiting and wondering... Edited February 8, 2019 by LilKatKat Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Your blood pressure will be sky high with the stress of it all. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 5.5 hours so far of waiting and wondering... Send him a text... LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Share Posted February 8, 2019 Your blood pressure will be sky high with the stress of it all. Good thing I have low blood pressure then. I am tempted to send a text though ... I know I won't but it's tempting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 I don't know what she may have seen or heard in which case who knows what they're discussing. It's the not knowing that's nerve wracking. 5.5 hours so far of waiting and wondering... Whatever the reason, doubtful it has anything to do with being caught. And the reason I say that ... no way would he have been able to go hide to send you that text. The way he text that.... maybe they have to be really close? Who knows. But for whatever reason he doesnt want you texting him. Let that sink in... Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Well I just got a weird text ... “hey darling please note my phone will not be safe for a while. Will message you later. “. Never had that before. Well, what a complete price of crap he is!!! Really...? So now you definitely know he’s a liar! His WIFE never knew a thing about you! He’s kept you a secret all along! AND he’s willing to hurt YOUR feelings to save his relationship with his wife! This douchebag is a piece of crap! Best thing is to NEVER ever communicate with him EVER again! He NEVER told her he was leaving the marriage - quite the opposite - he’s willing to protect HER from what he’s doing! ... all at YOUR expense! Get rid of the jerk! He’s just treating you terribly because YOU keep ALLOWING it. He is on vacation in Hawaii with her - that’s not a man who’s leaving the marriage!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Wait, he tells you not to text him because his phone will be unsafe.... and you automatically assume this means he is telling her? If he was telling her, then why would he need to hide? And if he is so weak that he supposedly needed to spend the money and the time for this wonderful Hawaii trip to prove to her that they cant make it... I doubt very seriously he would have the balls to try to tell her right here and now. And if he is telling her the truth about it and splitting up.... then he would tell her that nope, she doesnt need the phone. He’s never been honest with either gal. He says whatever will get him what he wants = both women. What do they get? Ten percent of a real man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Share Posted February 8, 2019 (edited) Well, what a complete price of crap he is!!! Really...? So now you definitely know he’s a liar! His WIFE never knew a thing about you! He’s kept you a secret all along! I agree that a man who goes to Hawaii with his wife isn't leaving despite what he says about it being about showing her there's nothing left. What I don't agree with is that he never told her. I actually heard some of their conversation where that was the subject. And I heard conversations with both his kids that he doesn't want the marriage. At some point he intended to but that changed for whatever reason. He says he still does but guilt and obligation are preventing him. In the end he hasn't left. That's all that matters. Nothing to do now but wait and see how long he is off the radar. How long he keeps out of touch. Just another strike. Another thing to piss me off. I REALLY want to text. Would serve him right but hurt her so I don't. No way someone can't sneak off for two minutes in a 10 hour period (bathroom break anyone?) to send a quick text of explanation but then the other person would have to be important enough. Edited February 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 I agree that a man who goes to Hawaii with his wife isn't leaving despite what he says about it being about showing her there's nothing left. What I don't agree with is that he never told her. I actually heard some of their conversation where that was the subject. And I heard conversations with both his kids that he doesn't want the marriage. At some point he intended to but that changed for whatever reason. He says he still does but guilt and obligation are preventing him. In the end he hasn't left. That's all that matters. Nothing to do now but wait and see how long he is off the radar. How long he keeps out of touch. Just another strike. Another thing to piss me off. I REALLY want to text. Would serve him right but hurt her so I don't. No way someone can't sneak off for two minutes in a 10 hour period (bathroom break anyone?) to send a quick text of explanation but then the other person would have to be important enough. It should be way more than enough for YOU to fully understand just what a total jerk you have there. Take charge of your future - be done with him. How much do you plan to allow him to hurt you? Why aren’t you making YOURSELF a priority? Why do YOU have to always be second? Or third.. It pains me that you keep hurting yourself and your future by continuing with just a big jerk! He’s a common liar! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Here generally doesn't but he may have now that he's surrounded by her 24/7. Well, she is his wife. And, they are on holiday together... isn’t that what married people do when on holiday, surround each other 24/7? Isn’t that what you would do if you were on holiday with him, enjoy your time together? If she is providing 24/7 surveillance on this holiday there is likely good reason... is not the fact that he has cheated before reason enough to have a watchful eye on his activities? Although, why she would bother I could not say... the day that I have to surround my husband 24/7 to keep his focus on me is the day that I will be packing my bags to leave... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Share Posted February 8, 2019 It should be way more than enough for YOU to fully understand just what a total jerk you have there. Take charge of your future - be done with him. How much do you plan to allow him to hurt you? Why aren’t you making YOURSELF a priority? Why do YOU have to always be second? Or third.. It pains me that you keep hurting yourself and your future by continuing with just a big jerk! He’s a common liar! He just texted he hopes I had a good day, loves me and misses me. No explanation. Why do I always put myself second or third? I guess it's what I'm used to ... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 He just texted he hopes I had a good day, loves me and misses me. No explanation. Why do I always put myself second or third? I guess it's what I'm used to ... I’m guess. All is right with the world, I guess... He hopes you had a good day, he still loves you and he misses you. Sweet guy. You have spent yet another day waiting, and worrying, and wondering, and hoping... when are you going to get off this rollercoaster? Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 He just texted he hopes I had a good day, loves me and misses me. No explanation. Why do I always put myself second or third? I guess it's what I'm used to ... What a cake eater he is! And cruel! No explanation... and now you’ve wasted ten or more hours wondering for NOTHING! He offers you nothing but lies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Share Posted February 8, 2019 What a cake eater he is! And cruel! No explanation... and now you’ve wasted ten or more hours wondering for NOTHING! He offers you nothing but lies. He needed to offer no explanation. The picture of them on the beach, smiling with his arm around her says it all. There it is. Finally my confirmation. Confirmation of what I already knew but he denied and I tried to deny to myself. Sucks to be me ... Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Good god KitKat I hope you change this situation soon. You deserve so much better. He just looks worse and worse every single day. The ONLY one he cares about is himself! He’s mainly interested in the affair so that you keep being willing to be his OW... he’s certainly working to keep that door open. If you would only slam it shut and double bolt it - then you might stand a chance at happiness! This guy is never gonna give you any form of happiness - he’s mainly stealing your peace of mind and that sucks! Link to post Share on other sites
sagamore Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 He needed to offer no explanation. The picture of them on the beach, smiling with his arm around her says it all. There it is. Finally my confirmation. Confirmation of what I already knew but he denied and I tried to deny to myself. Sucks to be me ... This does suck. So does it end here? This guy will cake eat until the end of time. He’ll be back to tell you, “she made me take the picture...I was thinking of you...” LKK, you will need to be the one who ends this and pulls the plug. Yes it is going to hurt like hell but nothing - NOTHING - is worse than what he is putting you through now with your consent. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Share Posted February 8, 2019 This does suck. So does it end here? This guy will cake eat until the end of time. He’ll be back to tell you, “she made me take the picture...I was thinking of you...” LKK, you will need to be the one who ends this and pulls the plug. Yes it is going to hurt like hell but nothing - NOTHING - is worse than what he is putting you through now with your consent. ??? too funny. It wasn’t her, it was Jane. What could he do or say but comply. I mean it’s not like he could have anticipated friends would want to take pictures of them. Jeez, doesn’t everyone go to Hawaii to show the BS there’s nothing left? Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 What a prick. And dressing it up so nicely. "Darling..." gag! I am really sorry, Kat. You need to get this jerk out of your life for good. Dont let him worm himself back in. Dont give him the opening. Those sweet words and empty promises. He's quite a piece and will continue as long as you let him. Link to post Share on other sites
What_Did_I_Do Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 LKK, mine did that too. Went on vacation with the family to Hawaii, pictures of them arms around each other at the beach. When I questioned him, his comment was "what, was I supposed to push her away for the photo?". Thing is, there was never anything wrong with their M other than the usual disputes (well, and him being a jack***). As far as I know, they are still together to this day. Go figure. So no, it's extremely unlikely he's using this trip to "have the discussion" with her. Quite the opposite. I hope you gather the strength and courage to pull the plug on this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Share Posted February 8, 2019 What a prick. And dressing it up so nicely. "Darling..." gag! I am really sorry, Kat. You need to get this jerk out of your life for good. Dont let him worm himself back in. Dont give him the opening. Those sweet words and empty promises. He's quite a piece and will continue as long as you let him. Yes he only ever uses my name when he’s angry or annoyed. Otherwise it’s darling or beautiful or princess or my ray of sunshine and most recently my gorgeous goddess. For an introvert who wasn’t ever a ladies man he sure knows how to pile it on. Funny thing. I’m actually feeling good this morning. We’ll se how long it lasts but for now I’m ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Share Posted February 8, 2019 LKK, mine did that too. So no, it's extremely unlikely he's using this trip to "have the discussion" with her. Quite the opposite. I hope you gather the strength and courage to pull the plug on this. No the plan was never to have “the talk”. He needed a vacation and he wanted her to see just how loveless and lifeless the marriage is and then she wouldn’t resist the separation so much. I told him from the beginning it was a very dumb idea. If there is ANY minuscule grain of truth he was more likely trying to prove it to himself but in reality it is what it looks like: a vacation with his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivir Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 5.5 hours so far of waiting and wondering... This is time you can never get back. AND he’s willing to hurt YOUR feelings to save his relationship with his wife! He NEVER told her he was leaving the marriage - quite the opposite - he’s willing to protect HER from what he’s doing! ... all at YOUR expense! Where is the LOVE button? I LOVE the entire message by S2B from which I cut this quote! These are my sentiments exactly AND it was what I eventually felt near the end of my own affair: He is lying to his wife because he wants to keep her; he always wanted to keep her! Yours is likely doing the same thing... it hurts to be made aware of something like this, but it can be used to end the affair - especially if you're ready... if you're not, I expect your resentment of him to come in short order. He just texted he hopes I had a good day, loves me and misses me. No explanation. Why do I always put myself second or third? I guess it's what I'm used to ... He probably thinks that is all he needs to write to you to keep you waiting. This amounts to a cheap trick. If nothing else, you should turn the tables on this man. Just try it on for size to see how it feels to you. We'll back you up! The bolded breaks my heart. If there is ANY minuscule grain of truth he was more likely trying to prove it to himself but in reality it is what it looks like: a vacation with his wife. There is some real insight here, LilKat. I mean it! Real insight! Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 I hope you wake up and see what this is. At this point you’re voluntarily involved in their marriage and he’s never leaving her. He’s using you so he feels better staying. But you’ve agreed to that by continuing with him. Know he’s never leaving her. Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Yes he only ever uses my name when he’s angry or annoyed. Otherwise it’s darling or beautiful or princess or my ray of sunshine and most recently my gorgeous goddess. For an introvert who wasn’t ever a ladies man he sure knows how to pile it on. Funny thing. I’m actually feeling good this morning. We’ll se how long it lasts but for now I’m ok. Gorgeous goddess? Now THAT truly is gag worthy. When guys are really good with piling it on... HUGE red flags!!!! They've played the game before. Sorry, Kat. I dont know the man, but I want to kick him in the balls. For you. And especially his wife. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 He’s definitely had other OW. Just needed to state that it’s just another lie he told you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts